Subject: Sedri, my good... boarder
Author:
Posted on: 2009-05-23 01:58:00 UTC
What do you think? I had a little trouble writing the scene where Barricade's caught by the bolas-harpoon: had to clear some clutter and cut out some of the internal panicking.
However, I got in what I wanted and even a bit more. Of course, it needs the right soundtrack, a little SFX, but you can only do so much on paper without it turning into a script.
That is, basically, the direction my fic is going... basically in a few directions:
-After everything is settled, Simmons reveals that the guys in charge of the codenames (the NBE label having been scrapped) are both Herberttes and have, I quote, "A sick sense of humour" in giving certain characters near-prphetic labels.
-the effect of a humanized Allspark (in the baby) going off is signified by the eyes becoming an incandesant blue-within-blue, and a blue that is closer to autobot optics than the human shade.
-Starscream is still going to be an underhanded backstabber in this version, but more by sin of ommission than outright deceit: letting Prime and his group hurl themselves against the Big Bad, get scragged, the 'Cons stay back and beat the the Bad through technology, hail Optimus and the Autobots as martyrs in public while being glad that they're out of the picture. Mix this in with a bit of religous fanaticism based in his "former life" and you're dealing with a dangerous enemy and an even more dangerous ally.
But besides that, I just finished up by first big fight scene and I'd like some constructive criticism, so, if people would be so kind as to review, heres the obligatory shameless pluggage:
http://community.livejournal.com/transficsation/429748.html
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4695216/9/TransformersStarscreamAscendant
I hope you enjoy... and if anything is too egregious, let me know.
What do you think? I had a little trouble writing the scene where Barricade's caught by the bolas-harpoon: had to clear some clutter and cut out some of the internal panicking.
However, I got in what I wanted and even a bit more. Of course, it needs the right soundtrack, a little SFX, but you can only do so much on paper without it turning into a script.