I've had a fabulous birthday, thanks in no small amount to all your good wishes :D

But HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Have a pair of ice-skates, because ice-skating is fun. Possibly.

And many happy returns.

*tacklehugs, drags out from under rock* Come on! Presents! A sack of pebbles, your own customised sling and a basket of Bleeprin-berries!

And a party!

Happy Birthday! I trust it were a good one!

*starts rock hunting*

Have an extra-large floofy red panda plush.

Laced with Bleeperin, just in case you encounter something you wish to forget.

Ellen: "Cal, gimme my knife! No, the big curved one."

*cuts a Mary Sue's heart out to bring Trojie good luck for the coming year*

"Ugh, now I'm all covered in sparkly blood."

You are all too too kind. I will come out and party :D

*dances like a spastic*

It's my birthday and I shall ... read papers on phylogenetic systematics? And dance.

Happuu birthyday Troji.

I hope you have a good one.

Minus shipping and handling, of course.

*starts looking under rocks*

Well, in any case, have this cute little otter plushie! It's so soft and fluffy. You just can't help but love it. ^_^

I've already said it, but HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

As a present, have an umbrella. Got it from the Rook Takes Pawnshop. Nice, sensible black, solid oak shaft, and there's a sword in the handle!

This one's been up a few days, but what with RL/online filters, and it being flagged as explicit adult content, most of you may have missed it. Part one of Pads's birthday present to Trojie:


Ode to my Darling Trojieface

O! Trojieface, so full of grace
I think you are just smashing
And if you were to wear a suit
You'd also be quite dashing
I see you now, in my mind's eye
With silk shirt and green cravat
And in your hand a pocketwatch
And on your head a top hat
Of course, I'm sure you will agree
Done up in this attire
Dancing a jig all down the street
You'd set my heart afire
With passion! yes, for as you know
There is nothing quite like it
To stir the loins and speed the pulse
A girl in a gentleman's jacket
But Trojieface, O! face divine
This would not quite be right
For you are not a tranny
So cannot make this wondrous sight
So let us now hit rewind
And cogitate anew
Focus on other virtues
For I'm sure there's quite a few
By this point, my sweet darling
I'm sure you will have guessed
Of all poetic stylings
Lovemaking's not my best
Although it is quite fortunate
I know you will agree
So far I've avoided Rochester
And his rhymes of debauchery
Though for you, my dearest sweetheart
The apple of my eye
In honour of your birthday
I could give it a try -
My Trojieface, I go to her
Each day at midnight hour
For in her sticky sweet embrace
She holds me in her power
Her lips upon that sacred head
Her bosom bouncing free
Her silken thighs spread open
Her scent assailing me
This voluptuous temple
Stirs the wantonness within
Until I'm coated in her juices
And I revel in my sin
- Perhaps not, sweetest Trojie
For I am well aware
That you do not dig vaginas
With their fluids and their hair
It's cock you like, I know this well
Preferably in the plural
With you a chaste observer
Of sex that's intercrural
That rhyme was hard to find, you know
But it still has some truth
Though you're also fond of oral
Between two handsome youths
Your tastes go even further
Extend to sodomy
It's actually disturbing
Unless it's only fantasy
Either way, my darling
I hope you don't expect
For me to show my love for you
In that particular respect
For though I truly worship you
And think you are divine
If consummation happens
I will have to draw a line
At violating your bottom
With bottle, fruit or toy
If you want that kind of treatment
You can get it from a boy
Which leads me nicely on, I think
To the most salient of points
The chap that you call Jamie
He'd best not disappoint
For I am many miles away
And cannot worship freely
At the temple of my darling
And get all touchy-feely
And so I must entrust him
With this most important task
Of satisfying Trojieface
In lieu of me he must bask
In your glory and your splendour
In your wit, beauty and charm
To take his place in this regard
I'd give up my right arm
Moving on from the physical
O moon of my delight
I shall now devote unworthy words
To your vast intellectual might
Which also for the record
Is really rather sexy
But I have never wanked to it
So you don't need to worry
Or, at least, you didn't
Until I turned my thoughts to rhyme
And choosing words for your wisdom
Made my heart beat double-time
And so for now I leave you
O beloved Trojieface
And hie to my bedchamber
Your name on my body to trace
With fingers I like to imagine are yours
Though I can't say the same for the cock
Since it vibrates and is made of plastic
But my thoughts are now running amok
Down deep and perilous pathways
That end in illicit affairs
Which is why, my glorious poppet
No more of my soul shall I bare
At least not today, sweetest darling
Therefore I bid you adieu
And my Ode to you shall continue
On the morrow, entitled Part Two.

Happy birthday. Here's a tall ship.
I just posted my Agents' profiles on the wiki, can someone tell me how to get those fancy tables on the right of the pages?