Whoops.

I think I found some badfics... by Cinnia Aine on 2009-04-14 06:53:00 UTC Reply

And they're from some of my favorite fandoms, too! I'm not sure if these qualify, but I think they sure show signs of plenty of plot holes. And Sues. And more Sues. If you're an agent, kill the Mary Sues, please! ASAP! Ugh... I need an overdose of Bleepto-Dismal now.

I wanted to kill myself after reading three of the chapters of this one. Has she actually READ any of Tamora's Pierce's books to see how they're set up? Really... And the main character is most definitely Sue-ish. I'm willing to bet over five dozen stale Twinkies that she is. And how in the world did the author get 58 chapters?!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2149293/1/TheGuardian

Aw, I couldn't resist looking at the Harry Potter fanfiction section, crazy as it is. And I found something horrible. At least, to me it's horrible. Kill it. Please. Just kill it.
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4992052/1/Mybeautifulblessing">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4992052/1/Mybeautiful_blessing

And if you thought THAT one was bad, this one is worse. MUCH worse. Shoot it. Kill it. Give it anthrax. Give it the Avada Kedavra. *shudders*
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4894233/1/Elena

And I found a new name for one of the mini-Aragogs, if it hasn't been named this before. A lot of fans think that the killing curse is called the "Aveda Kedavra", apparently.

~ Cinnia Aine ~

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Don't worry about the Tamora Pierce one by Helen of Pylos on 2009-04-16 05:59:00 UTC Reply

I'm working on it (very, very slowly; the length of it is killing me), but it will die, I promise.
Ahahahahahahahaha! by Guessmyname on 2009-04-14 16:35:00 UTC Reply

I have now decided that I love badfic. Why? Take a look at this absolute *gem*:

'“What! What the hell do you mean its Malfoy’s kid?” I screeched.I was beyond reason. “You … you…Ass whole '

*keels over laughing*

That cracked me up. by Buta no Kaabii on 2009-04-15 09:31:00 UTC Reply

...Although it does sound better than being an ass half.

Aveda Kedavra by Maudlin Hart on 2009-04-14 16:02:00 UTC Reply

Isn't Aveda a brand of shampoo?

Re: Aveda Kedavra by Guessmyname on 2009-04-14 16:36:00 UTC Reply

Someone contact the writer of the HFA. They have a new torture weapon to use.

What... by Maudlin Hart on 2009-04-14 21:29:00 UTC Reply

...you get it in their eyes and watch as they writhe in pain? Funfun.

Actually... by Guessmyname on 2009-04-14 21:35:00 UTC Reply

I was thinking more along the lines of 'burns scalp and/or hair', but you could run with that too.

*snigger* Burning acid is fun too. (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-04-15 01:32:00 UTC Reply

You most definitely found badfic. by Buta no Kaabii on 2009-04-14 08:46:00 UTC Reply

While I haven't read the Immortals series for a very long time, the Tortall-verse fic is just terrible. Rainbow eyes, SUPER-SPESHUL sparkly green hair, and more power than just about anyone Canon? I'd be willing to bet twenty diamonds that the main character's a Sue. *reads past Chapter 1* ...Wait, what? Antlers? 'Dark cream' skin? And she's resurrected at least once? Definitely a Sue. She should be killed. Repeatedly, until that damned resurrection stops.

The HP-verse fics look pretty bad. The second one has terrible grammar, a bad plot, and bad biology on top of it. Nobody enters puberty at 10, barring an extreme biological fluke. *facepalm*

The author's note at the end was worth a cheap laugh though - "want others to Wright good stories" made me imagine a very confused Phoenix Wright suddenly popping up in the fic.

Oh, and... *hands over a few bottles of Bleepto-Dismal*

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Re: You most definitely found badfic. by Pads on 2009-04-14 13:51:00 UTC Reply

Nobody enters puberty at 10, barring an extreme biological fluke.

Beg to differ on that one. I couldn't quote you any statistics, but the onset of puberty in girls has been getting younger and younger. Back in the nineties, they reckoned 14 was about right for starting your period. By the time I turned 14, most of the girls in my class already had ages ago. These days 12 seems to be the average, or at least that's the impression I get. Puberty at ten is certainly not bog standard, but it's not uncommon either.

*removes biology hat*

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a PS to that by The Trojanhorse on 2009-04-15 22:52:00 UTC Reply

Girls hitting puberty at eight is becoming more and more common. Boys too, I suspect.
Whoops. by Buta no Kaabii on 2009-04-15 09:24:00 UTC Reply

Didn't know the age had gotten that low. Anyway, there's still the gratuitous Draco OOC.

Re: Whoops. by Pads on 2009-04-15 11:50:00 UTC Reply

In fairness, unless you're a pubescent girl it's not the sort of knowledge you're likely to come across. So I expect you can be let off for not knowing.

Hmm, OOC Draco. Been a long time since I've seen him. Curses, now I might have to go poking around the Uber-Pit looking for sporkable Draco fics.