Here, have a mutated strawberry! I can't guarantee it won't spontaneously grow legs, but it should still taste alright, and if you're squeamish, you can just keep it as a pet.

No, I'm not going to shoot you. I'm going to POUNCE and HUG and GLOMP you instead, because freaking newbies out= fun! I gift you with gifts of a shiny crystal which is rather pointy and three yards of black alpaca yarn. Use them well, or if you can't figure out how to use them well, sell them and buy chocolate.
-Mad Maudlin

BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?

Welcome, welcome, welcome. I suppose that, if you're here, you've also looked around the wiki and read the Original Series? Good, because otherwise, you'd be lost. :)

My current usual welcome gift is a granite pillow. Use it well.

And... I'm not sure what else to say now, so I'll let the others make their greetings. Thanks for coming!

Will you have a TARDIS or a response center?



Oh, and I give you a coffeemaker (this one even makes espresso). Not only does it replace sleep efficiently, but cups of coffee are the only reliable unit of time here in the HQ.

Gotta go, it's nine cups and a half.

We'd, er, spotted that one. It's a troll. We snigger from a distance.