Nice to meet you! And yeah, it's different, but not too bad, right? (Well, except when the really long threads get going.)

Ah, and remember this! *hands over a fluffy blue towel*

Ah, a fellow newbie.

As you can see, my name is PitViperOfDoom. I cordially welcome you to this world of pathological roller coasters, where sanity is ishkabibble, and the only way to survive is by being certifiably insane. Enjoy your stay, and please ignore the Urple substance dripping from the ceiling. (Trust me, it's better if you don't know)

My gift to you is a case of Stewart's Orange and Cream soda, and a sock full of rocks.

My name is Inigo Montoya... or rather, it isn't, it's Maudlin. Sorry. I get confused sometimes.
Anyhow, melcowe to the PPC! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *holds out bucket marked "Warg fodder"* We don't tend to have much use for things like that here. I also gift you with a shiny bit of crystal, some chai tea, and a free hug. Come back if you need more.
-Mad Maudlin

Nice to meet you :)

Hi there! I'm Sara, and I bear gifts! Here's an egg whisk (gold-plated, very useful thing) and...um...chocolate! Yes...

That insanity thing? Fun. Funfunfun. Enjoy the ride!

You'll need it, both for attempts at sleep and whacking those who try to interrupt.

:)

It's good to see another TV Troper. I haven't been on TV Tropes for - well, I have a window open now, but I haven't looked at it for almost three minutes.

What fandoms are you into?

Have some little green pills. When you find out what they do I'm sure the Medical Research Division would also like to know!

Will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or Response Center?

Glad to meet another TVTroper. If we gather enough of us, maybe we can found TVTropers Anonymous. "Hi, my name is Gabriel, and I haven't visited TV Tropes for... oh, about half an hour."

I'm pretty new myself, and I'm not a full-fledged Agent yet.

Here, I give you a screwdriver, 100% mithril. If you prove you can kill a Sue in eleven different ways with it, you'll be deemed worthy of the Department of Assassins. (Our best Agents know of over 30 ways to use it to lethal effect.)

Here's a vibrospork. Good for badfic and those annoying lightsabers Sues keep on swinging around.

welcome to the PPC. hope you nejoy it here.

have a combat spork and bleeprin.

so, what fandoms do you like? if i may ask.

Do you want some? They'll make you insane in just a minute!

Have a large stuffed toy shaped like the Blue Badger. It won't dance, but then again it would be creepy if it did.

I do believe there is a vampire working for the PPC. But I could be mistaken; too much people to keep track of. Particularly when we keep different office hours.

Anyway, welcome. As a gift I present you with a cow. One of my agents had it while on mission, but it got too big for their response centre.

Don't worry, all the best china got broken *years* ago.

And we have a basket by the door for sanity, please feel free to leave yours there. You'll find you won't need it here :D