Goodfic for the list:
1. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3134295/1/TheScrewed
Quote: "I am pleased to inform you that our status has gone from royally royally royally screwed to just royally royally screwed...Though the young soldiers are still complete morons, the metroids are continuously breaking free from their holding cells, the Hunter continues to devastate our forces, our energy is running out, our mining expeditions end with more casualties than productive phazon extractions, and the shadowlings possess our troops at every possible opportunity, we are quite confident that we still have a 5 percent chance of success."

2. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3347901/1/Beauty
Oneshot. Captures the moment pretty well.

Badfic:
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2407956/1/metroidstupidandmenstral">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2407956/1/metroidstupidand_menstral