Subject: Mmm...
Author:
Posted on: 2009-01-17 04:29:00 UTC
All your answers, substituting Mercedes Lackey or Diana Wynne Jones for J.K. Rowling. And probably not a musical, though I do love them.
Plus:
*Jamie Bamber in a main role (and possibly Gareth David-Lloyd as well)
*Canon gay and lesbian main characters in actual relationships that do not end in
--death
--AIDS
--breakup
--unreasonable angst
--heterosexual marriage
on anyone's part.
This requires a little background. I work at a movie theatre, and kitsune106 asked me in email if we were allowed to see movies for free. We are, and we're allowed to bring a guest if we sign them in. I told him I'd offer to take him, but a free movie wouldn't be worth an eight-hour flight to get across the Atlantic. He said it depends on the movie, so I wondered what kind of movie would be worth flying eight hours (and another eight hours back, if we're talking from the UK to the US) to see, even if getting into the actual movie is free. (For perspective, tickets for a round-trip on a plane can cost upwards of four hundred UK pounds each, not sure what that is in dollars.) I thought this would make a fun Board discussion.
A sample answer from me: First, there would have to be a legitimate reason I couldn't see it in the UK, or would miss out on something by doing so. Maybe to go see a really big premiere. Second, a bunch of other PPCers and various other friends would have to be there, and we'd have to be at a private screening or in a soundproof VIP box so we could squee and joke around if we wanted. As for the actual movie:
- Based very faithfully on a story co-written by Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, and JK Rowling.
- Co-directed by Peter Jackson and Tim Burton.
- Starring Johnny Depp.
- CGI animals and monsters done by the same people who made the Talking Beasts for the recent Narnia films.
- And it should be a musical. A good one.
- We can get onto what it's actually about later.
So, anyone want to piece together their ideal movie? Directors, actors, special effects, soundtrack and plot suggestions?
All your answers, substituting Mercedes Lackey or Diana Wynne Jones for J.K. Rowling. And probably not a musical, though I do love them.
Plus:
*Jamie Bamber in a main role (and possibly Gareth David-Lloyd as well)
*Canon gay and lesbian main characters in actual relationships that do not end in
--death
--AIDS
--breakup
--unreasonable angst
--heterosexual marriage
on anyone's part.
£400 to get there and back? I won't even pay the pound to get to my local cinema, let alone the fiver for a ticket, so it's going to take something really special to get me forking out four hundred quid.
Gratuitous sex scenes featuring the stars of the Slashy Men 2009 calendar Trojie made would probably do it. Does not have to be actually pornographic, and, to be honest, if there's any way of making the gay orgy part of the plot rather than totally gratuitous, I'm fine with that.
One being far more realistic than the other.
This doesn't technically count, as it's a play, not a movie, but I'd fly international to see a performance of Wicked with the best cast combination - Idina or Stephanie, Norbert, Kristin, and Michelle Federer or Jenna Leigh Green (and yes, I'm aware that those names will mean absolutely nothing to most of you, but they are more or less the original Broadway cast, and they're GOOD). It's highly unlikely that my ideal cast will ever perform again, let alone together, but I'd pay a fortune to see that play, if only I had a fortune to spend.
As for the non-existant movie... oooh. Activating Inner Fangirl...
- Fantasy, definitely. NOT set on Earth, and no trying to draw parallels to real life issues; pure escapism.
- A not-so-simple good vs. evil conflict in which we can see from everybody's point of view, but not in a way that makes me feel bad when the villian is killed.
- lighthearted, with witty dialogue, a non-sappy romance and snappy action scenes that do NOT drag out too long
- Tim Burton's art direction, with elaborate costumes to match
- Johnny Depp, because he can play ANYTHING and make it great
- while we're at it, Helena Bonham Carter, because if you have Burton and Depp, you have to have her. She's great.
- subtle CGI (Weta is good) that tells the story and doesn't linger showing off how good technology has become
- music that wraps itself around my heart unti, I have to sing or dance or play it for the next two months. Either vocal or instrumental. Alan Menken or Stephen Schwartz, maybe.
- and... I can't think of more just now. Nice thread; thanks!
Directors: Peter Jackson, Richard Burton, and whoever worked on the Battlestar Galactica TV show.
Actors: Yours truly, Mary McDonnell, Edward James Olmos, James Callis...
Speshul Effects: Totally want WETA digital doing them!
Soundtrack: Bear McCreary and Howard Shore... and maybe James Horner...
Plot: Based faithfully on a TV show co-written by Ron D. Moore, David Eick, and whoever wrote for the Narnia movies. I must have a singing part.
*looks at ideal movie* Not gonna happen... *sniff*
It's currently a book. Use the book as the script. Except for the chapter which ends with "and after that, it was just a chase scene", and actually have a chase scene.
Have Michael Bay and Gennedy Tartakovsky co-direct.
Music by Juno Reactor, Rob Dougan, and Breaking Benjamin.
And keep it accurate to the book!
Effects by ILM (same folks who did Transformers and Iron Man)
Speaking of Breaking Benjamin, have them stand in for Vitaly Chernobyl and the Meltdowns.
And once again, keep it accurate to the book!
Not only is it a book, it is an awesome book. And it would make an awesome movie. Good call.
~Neshomeh
It would be co-directed by Peter Jackson, Tim Burton, and Guillermo del Toro, Johnny Depp would definitely star as Sexy Evil Overlord (he would look truly fine in spiky black armor), it would be so gothic tiny vampire bats fly out of the screen, the fight scenes would be a hybrid of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and LotR, there would be pyrotechnics galore, and there would be fun and Eeevil songs to sing along to. It would also have to be something that could have fangs worn to its premiere (which goes along with the tiny bats), Enya would be on the soundtrack, it would take place in a variety of locations including mountains, deserts, underwater, and creepy Mayan temples, there would be undead somewhere in there...*takes deep breath* Um, I agree with you about the CGI. *collapses from lack of oxygen*