*goes into obligatory Copypasta Captain Exposition mode* It increases stats (in an RPG sense), may or may not come with complimentary Prinny bombs and a pair of swords, and makes you say "-dood" at the end of every sentence. It makes people explode when thrown, but that's... usually... only a problem in NIS videogame canons and similar games. Basically, games where people can be tossed around anytime, by anyone. (It's amusing to see the biggest normal enemies being carried by the smallest creatable characters in Disgaea, where the suits are from. Testing on the Final Final Boss, Baal, has not been attempted yet.) Welcome to the Board, person who is... err... most definitely not under duress.

Hi, new person! So, are you *sure* you aren't typing under duress?

BTW, will your Agents be based in a Response Center or a TARDIS?

To celebrate how you're doing this of your own volition and everything, y'know :)

...I just can't figure out what.

Welcome to the PPC, person-who-is-not-Relden-Calder! I spent a whole ten seconds staring at that name to try and figure out if the last name was the first one backwards. Alas, I was disappointed.

Have an OED. It's handy both for reference and for beating canons.

We do not really need to know whether Heliomance is holding you or not. (For all we know, he may be perfectly entitled to.) However, being held hostage is never a good thing. If you are, feel free to smite him with your OED and any other shinies you've been swamped by.

You're totally under duress, aren't you? Poke him in the eye.

Welcome to this realm of chocolate, sporks and being utterly 31337. *pokes Relden's sanity with a stick* Agh! It moved!
Here, have some Suenicorn jerky-it's been through detox, which negates the side effects of excessive giddiness and attraction to the color pink. Also, have a coconut; if you do awesome things, I will give you more, and you can accumulate a Lovely Bunch.
Shiny happy,
Maudlin

Not asking under duress? Good, then, we won't have to commit violence. Though I wonder why you'd be so specific about what you're not doing... ^_^ *happily oblivious*

Ah well.
Well met, and as the others have said, do feel free to leave your sanity by the door. I don't think you'll need it.

Welcome to the PPC. Resistance is futile.

I do hereby gift you with chocolate, a knife in the size and style of your choice, and, more importantly, a towel.

I gift you with an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but spambots and author wraiths, too! Use it for good and not much evil.

Enjoy the insanity!

You seem unusual, but worry not, we do not (usually) bite.

I suggest you wander over to the PPC Wiki to browse through the informative selection of articles contained within. A reading of The Original Series (please do not confuse this with Star Trek) might be in order also.

I must warn you though, that if anyone gives you a link to any Legendary Badfic, it is advisable not to click on them. Reading them, even the summaries or the missions, has been known to scar unwary minds. The Legendary Goodfic on the other hand are perfectly safe to read.

Please, enter further and do not be afraid. You will be welcome... wait, why the heck am I talking like this? Come in, have fun and leave your sanity at the door. You won't need it here.

*hands Relden a P-90 and a spear and wanders off humming a tune*

*hands over a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object*

Welcome to the PPC.

Nice to meet you, however not-under-duress you may seem.

*cautiously hands over a welcome gift; Bleeprin*

One thing I must clarify: If, by asking to "join the PPC", you mean this message board, then you are, of course, very welcome. If you mean you want to "join" as in write your own missions, you'll have to wait at least a month before asking for Permission.

That said, welcome. :)

*silently passes exploding cigar*

It may come in handy in continuing your lack of duress that which you came to ask to join the PPC with.

Or something like that anyway. *I'm* not even sure what I meant there.