Re: A fic! by
Anonymous
on 2013-08-09 07:18:00 UTC
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Hmm...I agree with Neshomeh that this author shows a lot of promise. However, she also shows a lot of fangirl traits at the same time. She's a 'Sue alright, as you can see, Cyretnizzy's like this perfect girl-version of Harry. But we can always sent these kind of Suethors to HFA.
Oops! by
AquaMarine
on 2013-07-31 10:24:00 UTC
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Accidentally submitted before I could give a link - here. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9213793/1/SWTCW-Cancer
Enter at your own risk.
Ooh, more gold! by
AquaMarine
on 2013-07-31 09:42:00 UTC
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How long has it been since I've last been on here? *scratches head*
Anyway, here's a little something for the Star Wars agents -
A rather NSFB fic which features Ahsoka getting cancer. Now, I admit, when done correctly, a premise like that can work out really well. But...well, let's just say that there's a reason I rated this thing NSFB.
The author has absolutely no understanding of how cancer works at all, and according to her llllooovvveellllyy *sarcasm* author's note, doesn't give a crap at all. Seriously, take a peek at that author's note (written in the last 'chapter'). The poor thing has appearantly been taking lessons from Steph Meyer.
I've already critiqued the bad fic, and I've tried to reason with the author via DeviantArt, but her only response was to act like the self-entitled brat that she appears to be.
So...yeah. Have fun with this thing, PPC-ers.
Ooh, this is interesting. by
Neshomeh
on 2013-07-28 19:25:00 UTC
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I think this author actually shows a lot of promise. Aside from the obviously silly things—the name, having a prophecy about her, being a metamorphmagus on top of being a parselmouth (which actually makes sense if Voldemort is her father), liking bands and TV shows that don't exist yet, etc.—I think the setup makes enough sense to work as an AU and doesn't throw Voldemort too OOC, and the actual behavior of Cyretnizzy and Meagan strikes me as believable for their situation.
The biggest problem I'm seeing is that we're being instructed to think that Cyret's mom is bad for not loving her and that Cyret is pure good, despite having hateful (but understandable!) feelings of wanting to hurt the mother who's been hurting her by withholding affection her whole life. Take out the silliness and the narrative force-feeding us what to think from the get-go, and there could really be a story here, with the theme of choice that's so important to the Potterverse. Will Cyret overcome her heritage and poor upbringing and choose forgiveness over bitterness and hate, or will her mother's fears be the real prophecy that comes true? That, my friends, is an interesting character dilemma.
Also, and perhaps most importantly, it looks like the author is open to concrit. Let's give her some, yes?
~Neshomeh
Re: A fic! by
Ponystar17
on 2013-07-28 19:21:00 UTC
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...Wow. Just wow. That Sue's name is absolutely awful, and that's as far into the fanfic as I really want to go.
On the note of coming back after way too long and finding badfic, have a Naruto fanfic or two.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9467722/1/Naruto-The-Lightning-Demon
Possible trigger warnings for the above story: Paedophilia, mentions of child abuse/child neglect, incest.
The reasons why it's cringe-worthily bad: On top of the terrible grammar and spelling mistakes, there's extreme OOCness, canon-breaking without rhyme or reason, Gary Stu!Naruto, Harem, bashing of multiple characters, random genderbending in order to create aforementioned harem.
I also found another Naruto badfic on Quotev while glancing at the 'fic linked by Kitt.
http://www.quotev.com/story/3487421/Lustful-blood/
Couldn't find anything truly disturbing about it except for the fact that the 'Sue seems to be a victim of child abuse, but it's certainly quite... interesting. (Grammar check on that last lower-case "I" at the beginning of "interesting"? I've been working on my own writings lately, and it'd be useful to know whether or not it's correct. And I trust fellow grammar nazis, of course.
Re: A fic! by
Ellipsis Flood
on 2013-07-28 14:02:00 UTC
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Meagan could not love her daughter. In fact, she could hardly stand to look at her. How could she when this baby was also HIS baby? She was bound to be just as horrible, and Meagan was terrified of her....her own daughter, her own flesh and blood.
Unable to care for this child, which had an arguably horrible name to boot, she laid her down in front of an orphanage and turned her back to the wizarding world, living the life of a muggle.
Cyretnizzy, or Christina, as she was called now, was adopted by a wizard couple unable to get children on their own. They treated her well, even pampered her, for she was the most valuable thing in their lives.
She went on to go to Hogwarts, where she was sorted into Ravenclaw for her smarts and way of thinking. Her grades weren't the best, but she was doing quite well.
When the war came, Christina and her parents went into hiding, not knowing just who her father was.
Voldemort, as he had never cared about either wife or child, dismissed her existence, since she was just yet another wizard to him.
After the war, Christina returned to Hogwarts to finish her education. She became a fabulous witch and lived a mostly happy life.
The end.