Happy birthday, Oozaru. I present you with a sack of pebbles, your own sling and a basket of Bleeprin-berries.

*hides, hoping that the issue of polybetaness won't cause OA to throw pebbles at her*

Have some urple duct tape!

And yes, cake is good. Just figured I'd say something on the board. What the hell, right? I mean, everyone else on the bloody board has turned up, I might as well toss something in. Don't get too wild at the party. ;) (I kid, of course)

*throws you an otter plushie*

Ooh, cake!

*gifts with Suenicorn jerky* You can eat it...or something...

And here, have this retractable spork. So you can steal other people's cake off their plates, and then look innocent whilst they wonder where their food went.
Oh, and you can also spork things from a distance with it. Like Sues. Although why you'd want to spork 'em from a distance when you can get up close and personal with a nice sharp blade and....ahem. Yeah. I'll shut up now, and let you have a good birthday.
:)

Also, have a Sky Bison.

Have a spork-staff. It's basically a really long magical spork. Or something like that. It's also really, really shiny.

(Because the other option would be wildly inappropriate.)

*brings a platter of fairy bread* Happy birthday! Here's to many more. *downs a glass of water*

In your honour, I shall claim the last drink was for your celebrations.

...

What do you mean, I didn't know it was your birthday when I drank it? I can retcon, dammit!

*gets drunk in your honour*

Happy birthday!

Ah, seventeen. I'd reminisce, but I'm slightly scared by the total mental blank that is my seventeenth. But enjoy it! Your next one's eighteen, and that's when everything becomes legal, and so becomes a lot less fun.

Have a graduated cylinder with a party hat (instead of the usual graduation cap) and ... *digs around* some ice-cream cake! That is, if you like ice-cream cake. Because I do.

Hurray! Happy 17, and congratulations! In my opinion, 17 is when things really start getting good. Screw 16.

(But remember: The cake is a LIE. DO NOT BE FOOLED.)

...and a steamboat. Painted white, just waiting for you to name it so they can put up some massive letters. :D

*hands around the Convenient Cake*

Happy birthday!

Have a pencil sharpener and... um... a metal bottle cap. It's shiny and it has sharp edges. That's good, right?

^_~

~Neshomeh