Ooh, I know how that feels.

Subject: Ooh, I know how that feels.
Author: Lily Winterwood
Posted on: 2008-10-29 01:15:00 UTC

My PPC Agents for the DMS, Eledhwen and Christianne, have yet to go on their first mission. *sigh* I have so many loose ends to tie up.

Questions, questions, questions...I love making them up.
I was considering doing the next lab on Newton's laws--Do Sues follow them? Or do they break it like they break Canon? Jay and Acacia proved that Sues follow Galileo ("Do objects fall at the same rate regardless of whether they are God-playing Mary Sues or not?"); will they follow Newton?

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Department of Mary Sue Experiments and Research PLUG! by Lily Winterwood on 2008-10-28 00:58:00 UTC Reply

Here's the pilot mission for my DMSE&R scientists.

PLUG!PLUG!PLUGGITTY PLUGGITY PLUG PLUG PLUG!

This is what happens... by Makari on 2008-11-03 03:35:00 UTC Reply

...when I forget about the board for days at a time. Awesome stuff turns up.
Very well done, I say. Giving me uncomfortable flashbacks to the last formal lab report I had to write, but very nice. =D

Lab report? by Lily Winterwood on 2008-11-03 03:37:00 UTC Reply

For what, may I ask? I'm intrigued. After all, I am writing for the Department of Mary Sue Experiments and Research. ;]

Thanks!

Amazing... by WikiMaster on 2008-10-28 09:23:00 UTC Reply

Now let's think of ways to decrease Glitter levels. Modified Vampire Bats? Their outer repulsiveness may decrease their chances of becoming Suvian themselves...

I'm inclined to think of Dwarf hair... by Lily Winterwood on 2008-10-28 15:18:00 UTC Reply

Or any part of a Dwarf's anatomy. After all, Mary Sues just don't like Dwarf/ves...I say "Dwarf/ves" because some people spell it differently.

(Dwarf/ves Are Awesome!)

Posting here, because that's where the sub-sub thread starts by WikiMaster on 2008-10-29 12:41:00 UTC Reply

I'm Sorry that there's not enough space for a period! Dwarf hair is a good idea, but my original tought involved some thing small, nonsentient, repulsive and bloodsucking. Like Vampire bats, who are less likely to be picky about what blood they suck. Or Leeches, if they weren't so squishy.

NOTE: Killing the Sue is still the best policy. This disscusion is only for Scientific (or plot) purposes only.

True. But we're trying... by Lily Winterwood on 2008-10-29 15:22:00 UTC Reply

...to find ways to stop Mary Sues other than killing them. Maybe with our research we can recruit more "kind-hearted" people who don't quite fancy killing people. Even if the victim is a Sue.

It was mentioned in the DMSE&R wiki.

I meant, for now. by WikiMaster on 2008-10-30 11:04:00 UTC Reply

But once my little bloodsuckers are unleashed, everything will change, yes, everything will change...

For added effect, maybe a redheaded dwarf? by Artic Blade on 2008-10-28 16:03:00 UTC Reply

Redheads don't tend to be popular with Mary-Sues either. Just look at Ron and Ginny Weasley. Out of the Harry Potter characters, those two are the ones most consistant in their dislike of Mary-Sues. I don't think there's enough redheads in other fandoms for me to prove this, but it's a possibility.

The problem with red hair is... by Lily Winterwood on 2008-10-29 00:11:00 UTC Reply

A lot of Mary Sues like that color. After all, the genes that cause red hair are perhaps the most recessive of all other hair-color genes. For 'Sues that seems to be the opposite. Many are blondes or redheads, with an occasional Goth/Emo black-haired Sue.

~~But it might work...Lori is a redhead, according to my Permission post on LJ. There's no love lost between her and Mary Sues.~~
Maybe not... by Ansela on 2008-10-28 17:52:00 UTC Reply

Abarai Renji and Kurosaki Ichigo from Bleach seem to both be rather affected by Sues. Sasori from Naruto also tends not to object to Mary Sues within Akatsuki, as far as I have seen. In fact sometimes he's even paired with them (and how that works, since by the time of Akatsuki he's turned himself into a puppet, I have no idea).

How do the rest of the Weasley family take to Sues? I stay clear of the Harry Potter fandom these days, so I don't know the answer to that one.

I was thinking a syringe by Sedri on 2008-10-28 10:35:00 UTC Reply

Prick (or stab) the Sue with it and pull back the plunger; some sort of filter can ensure that only Glitter, not blood, is sucked out.

Cheers again, Lily!

It'd have to be a big syringe. by Neshomeh on 2008-10-28 17:33:00 UTC Reply

More like dialysis. Could be complicated. Fun, but complicated.

I'd like to see some kind of chemical neutralization, myself. Something one could inject into the Sue's bloodstream that would bond with the Glitter and render it ineffective. I know that ex-Sues sometimes take doses of Anti-Lustin... perhaps that's a start.

D'you suppose they would go through Glitter withdrawal? I can only assume it'd madly addictive. They would have to go through therapy and reconditioning, in any case, as our ex-Sues (again) testify.

Incidentally, the Department of Fictional Psychology would love to team up with the DMSE&R on some of these issues. {= )

~Neshomeh

Cool. by Lily Winterwood on 2008-10-29 00:05:00 UTC Reply

I should make Lori and Bill try out a psychology mission with some people from FicPsych, then?

And I think Glitter sounds like illicit drugs like crack cocaine and heroin, too. They are found in the bloodstream, after all. Someone should write a fic about an ex-Sue dealing with Glitter withdrawal.

Hmmm. by Neshomeh on 2008-10-29 01:03:00 UTC Reply

Maybe they could do studies on the addictive properties of Glitter. And I'm sure FicPsych has records about ex-Sues, who have had to recover without the aid of fancy drugs or machines. How did they do it? Is it that they've de-Glittered themselves, or that they've just built up a tolerance for it through sheer force of will? Is Glitter something produced in the bodies of Sues, or do they channel it into themselves from outside sources, like Dust?

So many questions. O.o

As for FicPsych personnel, the only one I have exclusive control over is Jenni Robinson. I've written for Freedenberg and the Kudzu, but they're free for general use. The only problem is that I'm terrible as a co-writer. I'm barely making progress with my own stuff as it is.

~Neshomeh

Ooh, I know how that feels. by Lily Winterwood on 2008-10-29 01:15:00 UTC Reply

My PPC Agents for the DMS, Eledhwen and Christianne, have yet to go on their first mission. *sigh* I have so many loose ends to tie up.

Questions, questions, questions...I love making them up.
I was considering doing the next lab on Newton's laws--Do Sues follow them? Or do they break it like they break Canon? Jay and Acacia proved that Sues follow Galileo ("Do objects fall at the same rate regardless of whether they are God-playing Mary Sues or not?"); will they follow Newton?

*sings* "Think of it as personality dialysis" by Sedri on 2008-10-28 21:38:00 UTC Reply

That's a song from Wicked, for you poor, deprived people who have never seen/heard of it. Very perky song - called "Popular" - and hearing "dialysis" just set it off in my head. Then I realised that "personality dialysis" is just about the most perfect phrase in this context. So I had to mention it.

I like the idea of neutralization - at least, my Nice side does. My Assassin Agent side is disgusted, but she can use her daggers anyway.

Watching a Sue go through Glitter withdrawal would be fascinating. I hope that you - or someone - writes it.

Wicked! by Neshomeh on 2008-10-29 00:58:00 UTC Reply

Awesome stuff. I haven't seen the show yet, but the music itself is so much fun.

Perhaps a Glitter dialysis machine is a step on the way to an injectable chemical agent, or an alternative/more intense treatment. The procedure would have to be called Personality Dialysis, of course. *g*

~Neshomeh

Of COURSE - what else would we call it? *sings* by Sedri on 2008-10-29 05:52:00 UTC Reply

It's a great play; when it's eventually available for liscencing, I'll be fighting tooth and nail to play Elphaba. I don't know why that part touches me so, but it does and I wants it, Precious!

The show itself is around the 'net in various forms, but I didn't say that. *innocently wanders off to check her email*

Hm, by Ansela on 2008-10-28 17:55:00 UTC Reply

If it's part of the blood, then maybe it's an antigen of some sort. Antigen-G (for glitter) perhaps? If that's the case then an antibody (Anti-G) could neutralise the antigen without harming the rest of the blood.

~~Ansela, whose forensic biology class notes on serology are right in front of her at the moment.~~

I was thinking something along the lines of Exorcism by Artic Blade on 2008-10-28 14:51:00 UTC Reply

I mean, Exorcisers can remove a Possession!Sue wraith from a Canon Character's Body through exorcism, so they're essentially seperating the glitter from the flesh and blood. And all Agents can Exorcise, just look at the Alumia and Robecca exorcisms.
Nice... (nm) by WikiMaster on 2008-10-28 11:30:00 UTC Reply

*Spock voice* Fascinating. by Neshomeh on 2008-10-28 03:25:00 UTC Reply

I have to say I really like this idea and its execution. I don't know if I said that clearly before.

However, as a PPCer and an English major and an editor-in-training--that is, as someone specifically trained to spot plotholes and other inconsistencies--I have to point out a few issues I find in your experiment. First of all, the classifications could be punched up a little bit. Pseudolatin is the done thing, of course, but the closer you get to the genuine article, the better. For example, Humanis perfectis should probably be Homo perfectis. Also, for weird classifications, you could follow the example of plant classification and use modifiers like "var." for "variant" (Puella moderna var. prophesida) and "type 1 x type 2" for such combinations as Sidhia tolkienii x uncanonicus fantasylandia. Also, your Angsty!Goth!Sue could probably be classified as an Emo!Sue, if my understanding is correct.

Second of all, I wonder if the source of the Glitter affects the type of Sue. That is, you drew Glitter from several sources of various types and used the combination to produce a variety of different types in the dummy. What if you drew Glitter from only one source, or one type of source, and increased the levels in the dummy with that?

Third, wraiths have blood? O.o

I mean these points only in a spirit of advancing science, so I hope you'll take them in the same spirit. {= )

~Neshomeh

Oh, of course. by Lily Winterwood on 2008-10-28 04:17:00 UTC Reply

Thing is...those "latin" names that you pointed out are actually Mhari's classifications.

And it looks like I have to do some reworking for future labs. This was just a pilot--to give me and others considering writing for the DMSE&R a frame for later missions.

Wraiths...these are Author/Sue Wraiths. There's a plot hole somehwere. x]

~Lily, who is enthusiastic about the lovely constructive criticism and will certaintly make sure her "beta readers" (cough scienctist buddies who barely skimmed through it cough) will pay better attention to it. Preferably with a fine-toothed comb.

Classifications by Neshomeh on 2008-10-28 05:16:00 UTC Reply

For future reference, I refer you to this page, which explains the whole thing a lot better than I can and which, I believe, is probably the basis for some of the classifications on Mhari's page. Enjoy. {= )

~Neshomeh

Thanksies. by Lily Winterwood on 2008-10-28 05:24:00 UTC Reply

It's now another reference thingy I will have to refer to for further...missions.

Sanks.