Subject: Great job
Author:
Posted on: 2013-04-02 04:55:00 UTC
Ooh, very nice! I only skimmed bits of it here and there, (time issues rampant) but what I saw of it seemed quite awesome. I liked the banter (is it banter if they can't stand each other?) between Charlie and Brenda. Can't wait to see more!
Hi everyone!
It is with great pride and happiness that I present to you my agents' very first mission (well, in terms of records, anyway). It can be found here: http://dawnfire360.livejournal.com/ Enjoy!
(Agent pages and complete mission listings will go up on the wiki as soon as my internet actually lets me load the editor *grumble* Karen has been wonderful and added it to the Latest Story Releases box for me in the meantime. She's such a wonderful minion friend...Thanks, Karen!)
Let me know what you think :) I enjoy reviews (as do most authors). If you spot anything that needs fixing, let me know about that as well.
(My goodness, it's rather dark in here, isn't it? How often do we get this sort of blackouts? I do hope it's not too often, my agents are having to see by mini-Balrog firelight...)
~DawnFire
I loved it! XD (and am extremely jealous, I didn't manage to come up with such things, but oh well XD)
It was thoroughly enjoyable, can't wait to see the "real" mission too!
Gotta be quick, since I'm on vacation and the place I'm staying has no wifi -I'm using a department store free wifi right now- but I will say that that is awesome. Honestly, I'm kind of sad it isn't your actual first misson because it's so creative!
Hey, what a coincidence, I'm on vacation too! I'm glad you enjoyed it. As for creative--you want creative? Just wait until the Avengers OFU goes up; it's full of creativity. In fact, the creativity is doubled, at the very least, since it's being co-written with Karen.
Heh--I'm actually looking at what I have of the official first mission, and being a little sad that it's not just an edited version of this one! That's not to say I don't like it, but it's a bit more serious. Then again, it's not very far in yet, and there are some extra scenes at the end that amuse me to no end. And I'm probably just tired; Agent Dawn is coming out tired and annoyed (although that does suit her situation) rather than bouncy and insane in the OFU. Hopefully furious!Brenda will still be able to provide some amusement...maybe Edgar really should drop in. Hm. Then again, if nothing else, the badfic itself should provide some humor...
Thanks again!
~DawnFire
Ooh, very nice! I only skimmed bits of it here and there, (time issues rampant) but what I saw of it seemed quite awesome. I liked the banter (is it banter if they can't stand each other?) between Charlie and Brenda. Can't wait to see more!
Thanks! Time issues I understand quite well; thanks for taking the time to skim.
Banter? Let's call it banter; I can't think of a better word. 'Arguing', maybe. It's fledgling banter, at any rate; they do have the seeds of being able to at least work well together in the field. We'll call it banter for now.
I'm glad you enjoyed what you saw! Let me know what you think of the full thing when you get time to finish it?
~DF
I hope Charlie and Brenda's CAD acts like that in the official version of this mission. There should always be somebody around when things get a little nutty to say "Are you kidding me?", and since the CAD is a world-weary, usually-abused piece of nigh-omnipresent PPC technology, it's in a unique position for that role. Also, Edgar's CAD responding to being swallowed by Carrrot by woefully shouting "It's only a model!" made me bust up laughing.
I was a little disappointed that the mission didn't show any of the text from the original fic and the agents' reaction to that text at first. Then it revealed that it was a shortened version of the actual mission and I felt better. In fact, I'm really looking forward to the final version now! Will Edgar show up in that one, too? He did a good job of setting up the jokes, and the "Assassins always sound like criminals" scene wouldn't be the same without him.
If you can't load the Wikia editor, try using a different browser to publish. Sometimes the wiki pages don't process well on certain browsers for a day or two, but it usually doesn't affect every Internet source in the network. You'll just need to log in again in the new browser so that Wikia recognizes you, but you probably already knew that.
(I don't know, I sort of like the white text on the black background. It's not like this on the Other Board, I noticed, which means it's probably more a seasonal joke than foreshadowing for something.)
You've made me grin; congrats :) Also, thanks--this was quite nice to wake up to.
Technically, anything's possible, but the current plan is that that bit of Charlie's CAD's personality is always there in reserve, just in case it's needed. On the other hand, it may end up making an appearance if they spend too much time fighting, at some point; who knows? As for Edgar's CAD, well, both it and his console are obsessed with Monty Python, and they tend to communicate through quotes...and while I'm not entirely sure why "It's only a model!" was thrown in there (besides the fact that the Camelot Song is hilarious), I'm glad it made you laugh :)
Heh, well, I guess now I know what to improve for the real mission! I'm glad you're looking forward to it; I am too, actually--I like what I have so far, and I want to know what the finished version will look like! As for Edgar...he's not actually supposed to show up, but...again, you never know. Alternatively, the CAD may threaten to call in back-up, but not actually do it...and the "Assassins sound like criminals" (well, they do) could always take place at a later date, possibly with Agent Dawn, who would turn it into a mess of Supernatural jokes...*sigh* (Really, keeping the word 'gank' out of this was a test of will. If Dawn had been there, it would have gone in.) I suppose we'll see.
*sighs again* Oh, I did that. It's not loading in both Google Chrome and Internet Explorer. No, I just need to restart the computer; I haven't done that in long enough that it's affecting things. I'll do that pretty soon, though (and then we get character pages and proper announcement of the mission and yay). Thanks for the advice, though :)
(It is kind of fun, and it's funny to me that I'm technically on the next day and it's still there. I wonder if it's just switched back, since it's gone a minute past midnight in the time zone the Board uses? I guess I'll find out when I post this.)
(Also, foreshadowing...? Oh dear. I may take that idea and run away with it...)
Thanks for the long review! :D
~DawnFire
I found her you see. No, I have no idea how Ivy is short for Laiqualassiel.
Anyway, very funny story and it seems like the kind of thing that could happen with the right malfunctions.
Oh, are you the one who reported her? Thank you. She's making a good first mission (two chapters, classic Sue, what more do you need?) and has provided me with the most awesomely named mini-Balrog ever (namely, hobbition. Love it. Keeping it. Making Supernatural jokes with it.) Quite fun, and it's simple/short enough that I can use it to develop the agents' personality and working relationship (because, quite frankly, they currently hate each other. Or at least, Brenda hates Charlie.)
I reread it, and was kind of surprised at how plausible most of it actually is as a PPC mission. Considering that I wrote it at odd hours and in spare moments over four days, and did my sort-of best to make it crazy...well, I suppose I know what to do if I ever want to finish a mission quickly! It looks like I could write it like this, and then go back over it several times to add in bits that I missed (such as what they did with the horse), as well as some text from the actual badfic...hm.
Well, hope you like the other version of this mission too (once I finish it and get it up...)
~DawnFire
But still funny. I was amused.
I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Seriously, I just couldn't resist. I think it was originally supposed to be a bit crazier than it turned out, though.
~DawnFire
I have to say, I liked the whole in medias res approach. It's different from the usual missions.
Hm. Well, it is fun to do :) The mission I'm working on doesn't start that way (due to the necessity of some backstory), but the mentioned first mission--the longfic where Charlie and Brenda met Edgar--does, both because I like to shake things up and it struck me as amusing.
~DF