Subject: My favourite Tolkien disclaimer runs thus:
Author:
Posted on: 2008-07-30 11:34:00 UTC
"Oh Tolkien, it is all thine
From Lorien's woods
to Moria's mine
You own the Elves,
the Dwarves, the sea
And, I'm afraid, own even me.
Oh copyright I honor thee,
So there's no point in sueing me
Amusement's all I'm aiming for
Respectfully, yours, Erestor"
from Elf On A Shelf.
I believe we're all familiar with the snarky, sarcastic and otherwise silly attempts to make a basic disclaimer interesting. I'm also quite sure that most of you will have seen one or two really good ones around - ones that make you laugh or simply applaud the ingeniuity.
A while ago, I had a very vague idea of running a silly little "Disclaimer Awards" thing. I never bothered trying, though, as it's very easy for somebody to sit down and think up a list of good ones, and even to put them into their various stories just to be eligible for nomination. Still, every time I found a particularly good one, I kept it, and I feel like sharing:
All characters, settings, trademarks, etc are the property of J.K. Rowling. After carefully checking my bank account, I am, apparently, not she.
Guilt and Innocence by Cassie Payne
Disclaimer: Please pay attention because this is the only time I will say this. I AM JK ROWLING. Also please note that that was a complete and utter lie. Thank you for your time.
-The Management
The Art Of Lion Taming by The Queen Marauder
I don’t own Narnia or the Pevensies or anything else created by C.S. Lewis. Wish I did, but if wishes were horses, I’d still be a terrible rider.
Fealty by Miniver
I am not C.S. Lewis, as I am not male, British, and dead. Thus, I make no money from his creation, I just enjoy doing sadistic things to it.
I Believe by Dana Skywalker
Disclaimer: I own a wardorobe. Although checked countless times, there is no Narnia in the back so well I don't own it.
Knight in Shining Armour by VioletBlueBells
And the cream of the crop...
J.K. owns the rights to this;
She has the fame and glory.
All I have is one small space
In which to tell my story.
So, if you have a little time,
And nothing else to do,
Read this tale of Severus
And leave a kind review.
- Highly Improbable by Vocalion
Have you seen any others around that are clever, funny, or simply strange? Please share!
(And, if you can, include a link.)
"Oh Tolkien, it is all thine
From Lorien's woods
to Moria's mine
You own the Elves,
the Dwarves, the sea
And, I'm afraid, own even me.
Oh copyright I honor thee,
So there's no point in sueing me
Amusement's all I'm aiming for
Respectfully, yours, Erestor"
from Elf On A Shelf.
Can't think of any at the moment ... though I myself once used "Brian Jacques owns these characters, and he would be spinning in his grave if not for the fact that at the time of writing he's not actually dead *touch wood*". Eh, I thought it was mildly amusing.
I'm going to do a bit of plugging here, because I think some of my disclaimers are a little on the creative side.
Disclaimer: I do not own Starr, Murtle (aka PrettyprettyprincessSweet16), Celeste, the faerie GwenethCamilleScarlettRuby, or the Lord of the Rings. Personally, I’m more disappointed about not owning the last item on the list.
(I cannot include a link because I don't know how)Tales of a Nightmare Come True by moi (Lily Winterwood)
I don't own anything. But my birthday's coming up, so if the Tolkien Estate feels like giving me the birthday present of a lifetime . . .
Just Call Me Mary Sue by Andy Longwood
Disclaimer: If I had originally created Lord of the Rings, I probably wouldn't abuse it like this. I mean, if I saw the look on Tolkien's face if he read this, well, I'd probably faint.
Confessions, by Princess of Ithilien
And the look on Tolkien's face - hell, I can just see that.
You link like this:
[a href="address"]text[/a]
Address is the url, text is the writing that appears as your link - just change all "[" and "]" marks to "".