My Agents are Agent Lily and Christianne, and they work in the Mary Sue Department. Christianne is a veteran, but Lily is a newbie. They go through one mission in the Harry Potter division, then get transferred to LotR.
Lily is the result of a cloning experiment on a Random Elleth. But that's odd, because the two have opposite personalities. Lily is considerably more insane and flake-y. And she worships chocolate, coffee, and the Canon. She can pull together enough of what's left of her sanity during missions, but she's Hell on wheels at HQ. Never give her a flamethrower. Or Sparkly Shiny Things(tm), because Sparkly Shiny Things bring out the Gollum-like behavior, which in turn is a prelude to more insanity. She likes giving people annoying nicknames, reading, MST-ing, and drawing. Her lust object is Frodo Baggins, and oddly, Dark Haired!Legolas.
Eye color: blue
Hair color: black
Species: Elf, Lord of the Rings type.
Canon Literacy Level (CLL): Harry Potter (ok) LotR (semi-Tolkien nerd)
Christianne Shieh was recruited from Real Life. She's a snarky b*tch with sadistic tendencies, and probably the only thing to get yourself on her good side is to give her nutty dark chocolate. Surprisingly enough, she and Lily get along considerably better than other Agents. She also harbors an intense dislike for dresses, Mary Sues, and especially Mary Suvian dresses.
Christianne, as mentioned before, is a veteran of 'Sue Slaying, having worked in the HP and Naruto divisions. She was moved from Naruto to HP because her partner died, and then assigned to Lily after her partner in the HP division also died. Then, she and Lily are transferred because of a MS fic overload (poor Middle-Earth!). While working in the Naruto section, Christianne learned how to use Japanese weapons. She often tries to demand a license from Upstairs to use them regardless of which division she is in, though the answer is always NO for a good reason. Never give HER a flamethrower, either.
Eye color: green
Hair color: black
Species: Homo sapiens (Human)
Writing Sample
(taken from "Andi Black", the first mission)
At one o’clock, Christianne appeared back in the dorm, soaked in blood but grinning, full of job satisfaction. Lily was sitting in her four-poster bed, playing around with a French baguette. Every so often, it would emit a “prrrrp” sound and would transform into something else.
“What’s that?” asked Christianne, her curiosity piqued by the baguette, which was now a rubber duck.
Lily’s eyes widened. “What, you’ve never heard of D.O.R.K.S?”
“Dorks?”
“No, no, no!” exclaimed Lily, waving the rubber ducky, now a science textbook, in the air, causing it to turn into a table lamp and then a Harry Potter plushie. “It’s D.O.R.K.S. It stands for ‘Disguise-Outfitting Ryticular Kostume System’. Oh…and it’s the apple of Makes-Things’ eye. We better be careful with it.”
“One itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny question. Why is ‘costume’ spelled ‘Kostume’?”
“Search me.” Lily pressed something on the plushie, now a Rubik’s Cube ™. She promptly turned into the splitting image of Adalora Black. “How do I look?” she asked Christianne, who backed into another bed.
“Scary.” That was all Christianne could say.
(taken from "What, Mary Sues Can Read?", one of my LotR fanfics on FF.net)
Well…Tolkien must be rolling around in his grave so much by now that if someone harnessed the raw energy he produced, then that person could provide enough energy for an entire neighborhood for almost a year. Talk about going green. For even as he laid in his coffin, rolling around restlessly, these four aberrations of original characters were drawing dangerously close to the hidden valley where the Last Homely House lay, its occupants unaware of their existence. Canon was going on smoothly as usual, and the characters had no worries regarding these four girls. They could hardly be blamed, since the One Ring was in Imladris at that moment, and the Council was already in progress. As Gandalf got up to share his tale, about ten leagues away the four ‘Sues were riding on their equally freakish horses, laughing and talking like friends do.
So...that's my little bit. If you need more of my writings to decide on whether you should give me Permission or not, tell me.