Subject: I'll take a shot at #4.
Author:
Posted on: 2008-07-19 06:27:00 UTC

Jeeze, it's been a long times since I did one of these. Well, here goes.

4) Janette, the Outcast by MarryMerryMonaghan
*VSS*Janette is and outcast among other things, she becomes a witch, what happens when Merry and Pippin spend a day with her? Read and find out *VSS*Very Short Story


Janette was--that is to say, she existed. There wasn't much else to say about her until the day she got kicked out of her village for wearing entirely too much mascara (they had public ordnances for such things back in the day), at which time she found herself gradually drawn to the bad side of Angmar, where she fell in with a crowd of fellow rejects and started dabbling in witchcraft. Well, that's what they called it. It looked more like an excuse for nine guys to wear swooshy robes and play with jewelry. Janette never got quite as into it as they did, and she decided it was just as well when they all went off and got killed in some war.

One day, she decided she'd had enough of exile and wanted to see the world, so she packed her things and headed south. Imagine her surprise when she came upon two small people in armor!

"Greetings and salutations," she said redundantly, employing the universally-approved method of speaking to foreigners, which is of course to speak LOUD-ER and SLOW-ER. "I am Janette. Who are you?"

Unfortunately, neither Merry nor Pippin reacted well to the protracted screeching and hissing that made up her language. Merry was particularly affected by her sudden appearance at the side of the road as well as her black robes and the ridiculous amount of mascara she still wore. With a Rohirric battle-cry, he drew his sword and repeated his performance of the Pelennor with one important difference: His aim was quite a bit better this time. Janette died before she hit the ground, and the hobbits spent the rest of the day disposing of her corpse.

~*~

I hope I spelled everything right. It's been a while since I read LotR.

~Neshomeh

Reply Return to messages