Hey look, guys, an adult!

*grin* Have another case of bleeprin, and some lead-based frosting! Comes with two tubes of mercury filling! (oh, don't worry, the giant bunnies go away after a few hours)

Many happy returns, BH!

Happy birthday!

Good shinies! Excellent shinies! And alochol! Good alcohol! Excellent alcohol!

Because you asked for it. ;p

Hmm... I think I will also give you a Pencil. Not a pencil, but a Pencil. Respect the capital. It can be used for writing charges, of course, but comes with the additional benefits of never needing to be sharpened, and turning into a steel-tipped stake when in direct contact with a Mary Sue's body. It also has your name scratched into the wooden shell. Enjoy!

Birthday lembas all round (it has pink icing like a sticky bun, and candles on it)!

Wonderful! Joyeuse anniversaire and all that. :)

I do hereby give you several Sharp Pointy Objects, a large amount of chocolate, and, because your user-name amuses me, a Killer Hamster.
(It's like the Killer Rabbit, except not quite, though he's still got the Nasty Sharp Pointy Teeth. Treat him well; he will gladly tear out the throats of Sues upon command.)

I give you a stylish black bag of holding, for putting all your other gifts in (as well as anything else, like annoying siblings and weaponry).

Here, have a cursed katana. The wounds that it inflicts cannot be healed by any means, magical or mundane.

Perfect size for Sue-head destroying. Thank you.

*investigates buffet* Ooo, are those bleeprin cupcakes?

I give you a bouquet of whatever-flower-you-want-because-I'm-running-low-on-ideas. Many well wishes.