Subject: Nor/mlp/erson detected!
Author:
Posted on: 2014-07-29 15:08:00 UTC
>Reads greentext stories on 4chan
>Wants to spork them
>Ventures into Flutterrape threads
>Not checking the cringe threads for FiMFiction links and OCs
>ohsnapmanwhatareyoudoing.pdf
The biggest problem is that there's not much funny you can milk out of greentext stories. It's best to leave them alone since the stupid will 404 eventually.
Okay, the original idea for Cheesy's partner was something from a magic-based continuum, but then, I was suddenly struck by an idea.
An interesting, amazing idea.
An idea that completely bucks everything out the window.
I'm going to do a self-insert.
Name: Aaron Edwards Mousse
Gender: Male
Species: World 1 Human
Age: Mid-twenties
Department: Department of Floaters
Preferred weapon: Aaron doesn't bring much skill to the table, but he'll grow very, very fond of a simple knife.
Appearance: Caucasian, with dark brown hair, glasses over green eyes, and a completely unchecked case of vitiligo. Uniform takes two forms: jeans and a black T-shirt with DoF flashpatch on back and a green baseball cap, or a black buisiness suit with green tie, complete with flashpatch cufflinks. Which one he wears is seemingly random.
Abilities: Due to almost a year of surfing the site 4chan without using brain bleach products, Aaron is more resistant to Sues in that he requires about one-sixth as much bleeprin as your average agent.
Personality: Aaron is a lot more easygoing than Cheesy, being the optimist to Cheesy's pessimist and the jokester to Cheesy's grump. He's also kind and caring about others- something that isn't immediately clear when he calls you a "faggot" almost offhandedly the first time you meet him. Hint: That's a test to see how thick-skinned you are.
However, when the (almost nonexistent) kid gloves come off, and Aaron gets angry, it's an entirely different kind of rage to Cheesy's fiery fury. He becomes cold and calculating, a hunter with the source of the anger having a large target painted on his back. And he won't stop until either that target is dead... or someone calms him down.
He at first won't care for the 'duty', but events will transpire in the first mission that change his mind. Quickly.
History: Aaron, after a job interview, sat down, turned on his tablet, went onto 4chan, and started reading a fic someone posted. Halfway through the fic, he fell through a plothole, tablet, suit, and all, straight into a meeting of the Flowers that Be- er, to be more exact, straight into the meeting room's table. That's pretty much it.
And by explanation, I mean "WHY."
First off, what the buck I was rambling on about when I started the post- Well, at that point, I was dead set on Aaron, and the 'bucks everything out the window' bit was because I was trying to hide my prior involvement in 4chan up until that point.
That is, until I realized that absolutely nobody has sporked a badfic from 4chan. And I could tell, because nobody mentioned greentext, the strange hybrid of script and prose that makes up 99.99% of 4chan fics.
And that gave me the idea of a former 4chan anon turning around and sporking greentext badfic the same way that many other agents turn out to have previously written badfic.
As for actual 4chan "greentext," when they are posted there is always at least one anon there in the thread always have two or three Anons there to give him concrit, such concrit almost never goes past writing style or SPaG. "You" (the usual main character) are always a Gary Stu (and yes, here Gary Stus are the majority, not the minority) that Drops Into Equestria, usually without explanation, almost always with an inexplicable immunity to magic, and as for how the canon around you turns out...
I'm just going to bring up the "Flutterrape" threads from 4chan's /mlp/ board to answer that. No, it's the exact opposite of what you're thinking. "You" (man, I can see the usually-underused You crash dummy getting overworked fast here) are the main Gary Stu (or, rarely, , and the whole premise is that everypony wants to have sex with you to the point of raping you. And since Fluttershy is the, oh, I don't know, shy one in canon, she's the one that ends up being the most used target!
Excuse me while I proceed to blatantly ignore everything I say about brain bleach two paragraphs down and smash my head into a wall.
Going back to discussing the character, the part with "f*****" will probably be cut out or replaced with generic insults, mainly because I had forgotten that actual cursing was a Bad Idea here in the board.
The part about requiring less bleeprin is because I genuinely feel that 4chan experience could negate the need for brain bleach, at least partially.
As for appearance, that's me. However, the suit and the green items are a reference to "green-man Anon", a common stylization of Anonymous (or as he's referred in most 4chan greentext, "you") as a character, the idea being that the green skin, blank face, and bald head of the Green-Man Anon would work as a green screen, allowing pretty much anyone to be projected there.
>Reads greentext stories on 4chan
>Wants to spork them
>Ventures into Flutterrape threads
>Not checking the cringe threads for FiMFiction links and OCs
>ohsnapmanwhatareyoudoing.pdf
The biggest problem is that there's not much funny you can milk out of greentext stories. It's best to leave them alone since the stupid will 404 eventually.
Also you do have points on the 404 and limits. And unless it's pastebinned by the author there's not really a reliable method of linking to it...
So yeah, there went that idea. Back to planning the sporking of Cheerilee's Garden for me.
Also I'm kicking the green out of Aaron's wardrobe and the refrences to him insulting people for no reason. Doesn't really have a purpose anymore, and I don't do the f***** thing outside of 4chan. (Still keeping the suit, just because of the idea of flashpatch cufflinks.)
Your intentions are good with Aaron as a character, but in all honesty, I really have to wonder what Cheesy would have to do with this. Especially because if paired with Aaron he will probably end up dealing primarily with MLP, a continuum he isn't familiar with. If you're going to spork MLP badfic, maybe it would be more appropriate for Aaron to be paired up with someone from the MLP continuum itself. Though that will only result in creating more agents prematurely and I'm not sure if that'll sit well with the staff.
I still stand by my assessment about Cheesy being paired with someone from a magic universe. THAT SAID, Aaron's concept does sound interesting and is in general a good start, so maybe I could propose a compromise. Aaron and Cheesy may work together for a few missions, but then they recruit someone from one of the MLP badfics and Aaron ends up being partnered with that character instead, since Cheesy gets into conflict with said character and has to be reassigned.
Hopefully such a story shouldn't be too difficult to pull off. I just like the idea of agents squabbling with potential recruits.
I'm not sure where you're getting that, expecially since you replied to a post where I said I would scrap the focus on greentext and return them to the Department of Floaters that I'd assigned to Cheesy originally.
Besides, personally, I find that Cheesy is a more fleshed-out character. If they part ways I'd more likely follow Cheesy instead of Aaron. Hmm...
...Maybe since I'm already changing parts of Aaron, I could retrofit him into a unicorn? MLP does happen to be a magic universe, and like you said, it'd be a better fit for Cheesy to begin with...
Sorry for the late reply, chores and research are a pain :(
I agree that I'm not sold on the unicorn idea (competence in magic may be a bit much for Cheesy to handle), but someone from the MLP continuum would be nice nonetheless. I think there are a number of species that could work for him... A Diamond Dog, perhaps? Those things look like the kind who wouldn't be able to understand technology, for a start...
Big no to the Diamond Dog, for three reasons:
1, mainly because it's still an author-insert. (A partial author-insert because we're making him ignorant of computers, but an author-insert nontheless.)
2, I pride myself on being smart, not being dumb enough to be outsmarted by whining.
3, I am a diehard cat person and would be a tad offended by being reperesented by a dog.
And on top of that, I'm not sure what you're talking about when you said Cheesy might not be able to handle a unicorn. Wasn't the point of choosing someone from a magic-based universe in the first place, as opposed to a redneck from World 1 or something of that jazz, was so that Cheesy could find himself confused by his partner's abilities in turn?
Given the logic you're getting at, I guess unicorn it is. I assume the cutie mark would be a green computer mouse, then? XD
Ehh... that's actually a problem...
I'm not sure what his talent/cutie mark would actually be. Normally I'd say yes to the computer mouse and throw in a computer-related talent, but he's supposed to not know a thing about computers. Which would mean such a talent/mark combo would be completely nonsensical...
You wanted to do Cheerilee's garden, so I assume that Anon is either a brony or watched the show on a dare. I don't think you need to be from that continuum to work on it. I don't think either of the guys who did Cupcakes is naturally a pony.
He could just be the guy that tends to get shockfics, which probably means My Little Pony for a while.
Sounds like my kind of tea party. I'm in.
Seriously, it was Cupcakes that led me to both MLP and, later, the PPC.
To: PPC Board [261750]
From: [nkeegan.consoleENCRYPTED.ENCRYPTED.DIA]
Did I just see you call Earth ponies "not magical"? Ha!
Just because I don't shoot spells like some lunkhead I live with or because I can't fly and walk on clouds doesn't mean I'm "not magical"! Does resistance to massive blunt trauma that would otherwise crush someone count as "not magical"? Is instinctively knowing every nook and cranny of the land under your hooves count as "not magical"? Is surviving out in the--
[Dictation systems activated. Live transcript commencing.]
Fire Flash, why are you hammering at my console? Could you just hop off for a second? I'm trying to fix this geth battery and I need to bring up some blueprints on screen...
Back off, Naya! I gotta put this one in his place! HE IS INSINUATING--
Hey, you're leaving dents and hoof marks all over the keyboard. Stop that.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M DIRTY? IS THAT IT?
No, I--
GO ON, SAY IT!
...Okay. Your internet privileges are revoked. Get down from there. Now.
NO!
Don't make me get Taldaris.
OHO! THREATENING ME NOW, ARE WE? HA! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME STOP!
You asked for it. Oh, and person who is getting this message? Don't take it personally. She's always like this.
NO I'M NOT!
Hello, Taldaris? Can you come down here and talk to Fire Flash? She's going nuclear again.
[Transmission ends.]
Yeah, he's likely to get hurt or at least disliked if he tests people's skin like that.
I can keep an eye out for MLP fics that my team can't spork.
How do you feel about previous generation fics? I can help you with the research on those.
Actually, someone was begging for this to be killed if you can handle Nazi references. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/714/whats-good-for-the-goosestep
If we think of this as a crossover (which I am), I'm pretty certain that Hoofler is a replacement of Adolf Hitler. We even get a juicy comment from the author that corroborates that:
"that kind of the point though, this Hoofler is not as bad as Hitler plus this is ponies so things should not be dark and dpressng" -NotProud replying to SweetieBelleDerelle calling the ending "Vullshit"
Notice how he refers to Hoofler and Hitler as two different characters.
However, I haven't started to write a chargelist or anything, other than noting some pretty funny typos, but meh. Mainly because I don't even have permission yet...
I think can take a Nazi reference to the face.
Would Aaron understand Cheesy's AI hangups? Would he gain the smarts to do basic troubleshooting on his partner?
Who would typically hold the charge book? I assume that Cheesy might be the action guy of the pair?
Yeah, Aaron holding the Charge Book and Cheesy going for the action sounds about right for later missions, but thier first mission kinda has them in a spot where only Cheesy actually knows what the charges are, from the plans I have.
Plus due to the ending being the way it'll be, Anon gets the action in the first mission...
As for troubleshooting, he probably won't be able to do anything about the glitches- the most he'd be able to do is heal him up or forcefeed him a Revive if the situation calls for that.