Badfics

Subject: Badfics
Author: Seafarer
Posted on: 2014-07-18 00:29:00 UTC

OK, that first one doesn't have nearly enough hilarious malapropisms to be compared to the Most Comedic "My Immortal".
That aside, it's pretty bad. If there's a single word of multiple syllables in that mess that's spelled correctly, I can't find it.
The second one has a lot of exclamation marks, doesn't it? And it seems that paragraph-length chapters are a fairly good warning that it's going to be bad.
Anyway, this should keep my amusement levels high for a few days (and I like your review of the first one).

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Okay, I'm about 87% certain this is a troll... by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-07-17 04:43:00 UTC Reply

Behold, my friends:

~~My Immortal: Homestuck Edition~~ teh onley oen
namd 4 teh song by evinessince!11 mistey sparkl is a normle trol...or so se tinks...ten se meats sollex capper!1

Actually, scratch that, I'm 99.8% certain it's a troll. Gotta be a troll. Its only redeeming grace is that it's short. Features 31 counts of misspelled names (not counting the 'Sue's name and one that may be either the 'Sue's or Roxy's - I can't tell which) in 651 words, making roughly 5% of the text consist of misspelled names of canon characters. It's actually quite shocking when the author spells a word correctly. I definitely know what fic I'm claiming when I get permission.

The author claims she has not actually ~~read~~ watched Homestuck, but I'm just wondering how her autocorrect didn't interfere. Seriously, everything comes with autocorrect these days. My web browser is telling me "Homestuck" is not a word as I type.

Anyone want to adopt the mini-Tyranny sexol, by the way?

Here, have a couple of other badfics while we're at it:

A Story of my Life (Homestuck)
ratala contal is a cool troll living with all her friends. she can sing, dance, and loves to laugh. seems like the perfect life? well heres how her life is and and how she works with different issues and stuff there will be some yaoi tho just kissing and some cussing you have been warned. this is my f1st story so don't be a hater xD enjoy my story SPREAD DA STORY AROUND K?

I... don't think I need to add anything to that, except that I am SPREADING DA STORY AROUND K.

Also bearing an eerie resemblance to My Immortal, but I think this one is serious:
Anything But Ordinary (Homestuck)
Four girls lived relatively peacefully on Earth, unaware of there origin. Until they get thrown onto Alternia and meet the beta trolls. and all hell breaks loose. HIATUS

Seriously, read the author's note chapters. It's Tara and Raven all over again! It's almost funny.

The Ruin Of Marshank (Redwall)
My first redwall fanfiction, hope it won't bother you, if you don't like, I can just delete it.

Yes, that's the actual summary, and has been for eight months, ever since it was first posted. I have to admit, I have not read a significant portion of this story, but the OC screams 'Sue.

This fanfiction escapade of mine included many such things, as well as bad biology, bad logic, bad characterization, you name it. Seriously, do these people realize just how superficial it is to be pregnant and lay eggs? Especially when you have it happen to a person who is biologically unable to do either?

It's gotten to the point where it is actually just funny.

What is this I don't even... by zdimensia on 2014-07-21 13:06:00 UTC Reply

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10444275/1/An-Odd-Arrival-On-Pern
This one is triggery by zdimensia on 2014-07-18 18:58:00 UTC Reply

9/11 goodfic, I think.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7364619/1/What-Evil-truly-looks-like
Bad Crossover by Tira on 2014-07-18 02:25:00 UTC Reply

Noir (Avatar: the Last Airbender/Harry Potter)
In a fit of accidental magic Harry tellaports to another damention where he meets a young girl. Follow them as the get called back to Hogwarts and the adventures that ensue. Why can't life ever be normal? Character bashing, WIP, OOCness

Yes, the author admits to charges in the summary. The actual text of the story is better spelled, but contains cartoonishly-abusive!Dursleys, Harry being renamed Hadrian (which sounds even less like an Avatarverse name than Harry), and some of the jerkiest scene changes ever within the first two chapters. Other notable occurrences are Toph being used as little more than an accessory and what might be the first ever Hufflepuff!Stu.

Re: Bad Crossover by zdimensia on 2014-07-18 11:33:00 UTC Reply

wow, I just read the first chapter, but Rowling pushed the envelope just as far as she could without CPS coming down on the Dursleys. Anything the pushes it further is just a recipe for disaster.

Badfics by Seafarer on 2014-07-18 00:29:00 UTC Reply

OK, that first one doesn't have nearly enough hilarious malapropisms to be compared to the Most Comedic "My Immortal".
That aside, it's pretty bad. If there's a single word of multiple syllables in that mess that's spelled correctly, I can't find it.
The second one has a lot of exclamation marks, doesn't it? And it seems that paragraph-length chapters are a fairly good warning that it's going to be bad.
Anyway, this should keep my amusement levels high for a few days (and I like your review of the first one).

On the second one: by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-07-18 00:42:00 UTC Reply

The author figures out how to use paragraphs in chapter four - then promptly forgets. That's about two chapters after everyone goes gothic and starts dressing in black and grey (Because that's such a huge change from the way those particular characters dressed before!)

The first one really gave me a laugh when there was an ~~explosion~~ ASSPLOSSIN for the sole purpose of ~~killing Aradia~~ making Sollux single. We never even find out what caused it. :P

You're right, though, about the malapropisms, though in today's chapter the author wrote "jenga" in place of "Kanaya" which was pretty funny.

First one by Seafarer on 2014-07-18 06:44:00 UTC Reply

Don't you mean an ASSPOTION? And apparently they're celibate-ing by drinking blood. Still not as funny as Tara's endless silliness, but it still made me chuckle. A lot.
Oh, and I posted a review, so we should be getting chapter 6. *+5 evil grin of Asmodeus*

I also reviewed by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-07-18 06:51:00 UTC Reply

My pain throbber is kicking in. :V

ASSPOTION... I am now getting strange mental images.

What the... by zdimensia on 2014-07-17 18:11:00 UTC Reply

It looks like someone put a roleplay on the pit, or something.

https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9334531/1/1/

What am I seeing here?

I agree. by eatpraylove on 2014-07-18 04:07:00 UTC Reply

That "What the..." goes double for the fic "reviewed", BTW.
You're seeing a Red Herring. (nm) by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-07-17 20:07:00 UTC Reply

What's that? (nm) by zdimensia on 2014-07-17 20:46:00 UTC Reply

Re: What's that? by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-07-17 21:10:00 UTC Reply

A Red Herring is something totally unrelated. Technically, it's only a Red Herring if it's being used to derail an argument, but in this case it's just something not related to the fanfic, but using the fanfic to establish itself.

Like if I were to start a discussion about Macs v. PCs in the comments of a Harry Potter movie trailer.

When Hitler or the Nazis are brought up in a debate, it's a type of Red Herring.

Isn't that Godwin's Law? by Iximaz on 2014-07-17 22:12:00 UTC Reply

And the first person to bring Nazis or Hitler up in a debate loses?

Indubitably. by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-07-17 23:13:00 UTC Reply

To the first. I don't know if Red Herrings comes into Godwin's law, but he may have had them in mind when he made the law up. Specifically Ad Hominem.

Another badfic thread? by eatpraylove on 2014-07-17 17:30:00 UTC Reply

Let me add a few I've discovered recently.(I seem to do this a lot. Maybe I should create somebody for Intelligence along with my two agents-to-be...)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1560446/chapters/3309152
It could be interesting, but my first reaction was "Hey, wait a minute", so...

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/161974/soarins-scales
Implausible pairing is implausible. Also, ew.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/204133/fallout-equestria-the-ballad-of-emostar-ravenclaw
Very definitely a trollfic. No mention of FoE canon at all.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9857786/1/Rose-in-a-Garden-First-Story-in-The-Rose-series
It's been a while since I watched Ouran, but I'm pretty sure that even if Tamaki did like Kyoya, he wouldn't be all clingy and weird. (Also, Kyoya seems to have lost his trademark aloof attitude.)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10461579/1/Digi-hearts-Final-Mix
Translation of the summary: Gary Stu takes Sora's place except without the "we need to find King Mickey" part. I think; the SPaG is highly suspect.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10479097/1/Never-Underestimate-Me
Centered text, spelling glitches, gratuitous Japanese in the author notes, completely random Vampire Knight reference...ugh.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10245368/1/A-Very-Different-Adventure
TF2/Flapjack crossover. I am neither convinced nor amused.
Re: Okay, I'm about 87% certain this is a troll... by zdimensia on 2014-07-17 14:31:00 UTC Reply

Someone called this the TLA version of My Immortal
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10382725/2/Avatar-The-Last-TRUE-Airbender

I'm thinking about tossing this to the unclaimed. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8867929/1/The-Knights-of-Equestria

In my opinion by Sevenswans on 2014-07-19 04:13:00 UTC Reply

1 is pretty clear trollfic. It shows in the summary. And, of course, the chatspeak is clearly intentional.
Hey, is this missionable? by zdimensia on 2014-07-18 00:36:00 UTC Reply

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6604299/1/Stuck-In-The-Mundane

I've got persistent use of "your" instead of "you're," a few things that might be realistic depending on culture, and the girl having forgivable logic failures.

I'm not sure what Raleigh is like except that I believe that rainy and less-than-comfortable is right for January.
"Avatard." Snerk. (nm) by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-07-17 21:12:00 UTC Reply
*facepalm* (nm) by eatpraylove on 2014-07-17 17:33:00 UTC Reply

You left out some of the Legends by AdmiralSakai on 2014-07-17 14:03:00 UTC Reply

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7840045/1/Tarvos-and-Fairie-A-Love-Story
(Warnings: Poorly-written sex scenes that contain little actual sexuality, political soapboxing, uncomfortable mental images.) Fairly certain this is not a troll, because she has (or had) an active presence on multiple sites.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8297888/1/Werejustdifferent
(Warnings: Poor handling of delicate topics)

Halo: The True Meaning of Christmas: Lost the link, but it's every inch as bad as it sounds.
An opportunity to go Circle-Diving again? by 99Hedgehog (he's back) on 2014-07-17 09:17:00 UTC Reply

I'll just dump a few suspicious looking ones.

http://www.quotev.com/story/4963599/The-Pure-Wolf/
http://www.quotev.com/story/5008803/The-Sun-Moon-and-Stars-LOTRLegolas-love-story/
http://www.quotev.com/story/2583402/Anything-Could-Happen-A-Lord-of-the-Rings-Story/
http://www.quotev.com/story/5077776/Another-Ring-Another-Journey/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4335740/Saving-Grace/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4946209/Soul-Bound/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4987519/Dungeons-and-Dragons-An-Unknown-Force/
http://www.quotev.com/story/3272354/My-Dungeons-and-Dragons-story/

I haven't looked at them in detail, so yeah.

THE EMPEROR HAS RETURNED!

The second one: by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-07-17 21:14:00 UTC Reply

It's like Legolas by Laura, but longer. And better written. But the plot looks suspiciously similar.
That first one... by Tira on 2014-07-17 18:38:00 UTC Reply

I'm not sure it's technically missionable, since it's mostly some kind of original story (Slenderman may or may not make an appearance, but honestly it's so vague I can't tell). However, I would very much like to demonstrate to the Sue what a Pure (Were)Wolf really is. I don't play that much Werewolf, but I'm pretty sure the Predator Kings would be happy to eat her.

1 is pretty clear trollfic. It shows in the summary. And, of course, the chatspeak is clearly intentional.