Subject: ( Pst, that's the joke. ^_~ )
Author:
Posted on: 2014-07-05 06:44:00 UTC
They're absolutely ridiculous and over the top, and absolutely meant to be laughed at. Which I am doing, heartily. *g*
If you were going for deadpan there and I missed it, Des, I apologize.
~Neshomeh, who celebrated her freedom to feel disillusioned, cynical, and not particularly patriotic by spending her afternoon at a local anime convention. Woo!
To all my fellow American PPCers out there, I wish you all a happy Fourth of July! Let's not forget the great gift of freedom that we have as a nation, as well as those who risked their "Lives, [their] Fortunes and [their] sacred Honor" for it.
Yes, Alaska is indeed part of the good ol' US of A, despite what UPS tries to tell us, and we are going to celebrate our Independence Day just as well as our fellow Americans down in the Lower 48! We shall set off our fireworks while riding our moose around Town Square! The northern lights shall shine red, white, and blue tonight! Our grills will melt our Igloos, but that's OK, BBQ salmon burgers are worth it!
In other news, IM BAAACK! Ya miss me? Don't answer that, I know you did. And, I have a whole lot more time on my hands now, so hopefully a certain crossover mission can be completed soon, along with other missions. It's good to be back, folks. Good to be back.
Now, tune in to our Nation's radio station, sit back, and enjoy these America pics, patriots.
It's about time you showed up again! Tell me everything! What's work been like? How's the park? Any favorite spots? What sort of weird questions do people ask you? What's the coolest animal you've seen so far? Any penguins? (Kidding! I know they live in the south. Has anyone asked you where the penguins are, though?)
Good to have you back, Jumper! *hugs a little less violently*
The job is... Well, let's just say, the reason I have so much more free time and my employment status are connected. I'l leave it at that for now, though I will get into the details later.
However, for the other questions, I will be happy to answer! And if anybody cares, I have a Dumb Tourist story to share too.
The park is doing fairly well right now. Lots of people from all over the world coming in to see the beauty of Alaska, the most common seeming to be the USA, and Australia. I love the poetry of that, the folks from Down Under coming to the Far North.
I did not get all too silly questions actually. The usual questions I would get are:
What is a moose?
Where can I see bears?
Where is McKinley?
So, I see Denali, where is Mt. McKinley? (for those who may not know, Denali is the native Athabaskan name for Mt. McKinley. Alaska has been trying to change it back since around 1975, but due to political shenanigans it stays McKinley. I can get more into that if people are interested.)
Where was Sarah Palin from?
And, connected to the previous question,
Can you see Russia from your house? (asked sarcastically)
So, you know, nothing too bad.
Coolest animal seen so far? Well, we had a moose give birth on one of the trails, shutting it down for about a month. It might still be closed, I don't know. And, we also had a black bear and her cubs walk around property. And, a local red fox who likes to chill out around the lodge and beg for food. Don't feed the fox, people. A fed bear fox is a dead bear fox.
Now, the stupid tourist comment. So, at my desk, I had this little map. It showed how big Alaska was compared to the rest of the USA by superimposing Alaska on the Lower 48. Something like this:
This map drew a lot of attention, with tourists looking at it and realising just how massive this state is. However, one time, a man and his wife came up and began to look at it.
"Look at this, Honey," the man said, showing the picture to his wife, "this is Alaska."
The wife looked at it, put her finger on the map, and muttered, "Minnesota, Iowa, Kansas..." under her breath, before she looked at me, and asked:
"So, this aria is called Alaska?"
Now I know hair color has nothing to do with intelligence, but the fact that she was blonde just made it the next level of hilarious. I have no idea how I kept myself composed, but I somehow managed to keep my composure and say that no, it was a comparison, not a definition. That would be, by far, the funniest moment behind the desk.
I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard! >D
If it makes you feel any better, my fourteen-year-old brother is blonde and he helps me with my calculus homework. So I guess it balances out. Doesn't stop him from being an insufferable know-it-all...
As for the free time thing... I'm sorry if you're implying what I think you are. It sounds like the job's been super-interesting! I can imagine them closing down an entire trail for baby moose. Mama animals of any kind are not to be messed with. 0_0
The job is... Well, let's just say, the reason I have so much more free time and my employment status are connected. I'l leave it at that for now, though I will get into the details later.
However, for the other questions, I will be happy to answer! And if anybody cares, I have a Dumb Tourist story to share too.
The park is doing fairly well right now. Lots of people from all over the world coming in to see the beauty of Alaska, the most common seeming to be the USA, and Australia. I love the poetry of that, the folks from Down Under coming to the Far North.
I did not get all too silly questions actually. The usual questions I would get are:
What is a moose?
Where can I see bears?
Where is McKinley?
So, I see Denali, where is Mt. McKinley? (for those who may not know, Denali is the native Athabaskan name for Mt. McKinley. Alaska has been trying to change it back since around 1975, but due to political shenanigans it stays McKinley. I can get more into that if people are interested.)
Where was Sarah Palin from?
And, connected to the previous question,
Can you see Russia from your house? (asked sarcastically)
So, you know, nothing too bad.
Coolest animal seen so far? Well, we had a moose give birth on one of the trails, shutting it down for about a month. It might still be closed, I don't know. And, we also had a black bear and her cubs walk around property. And, a local red fox who likes to chill out around the lodge and beg for food. Don't feed the fox, people. A fed bear fox is a dead bear fox.
Now, the stupid tourist comment. So, at my desk, I had this little map. It showed how big Alaska was compared to the rest of the USA by superimposing Alaska on the Lower 48. Something like this:
This map drew a lot of attention, with tourists looking at it and realising just how massive this state is. However, one time, a man and his wife came up and began to look at it.
"Look at this, Honey," the man said, showing the picture to his wife, "this is Alaska."
The wife looked at it, put her finger on the map, and muttered, "Minnesota, Iowa, Kansas..." under her breath, before she looked at me, and asked:
"So, this aria is called Alaska?"
Now I know hair color has nothing to do with intelligence, but the fact that she was blonde just made it the next level of hilarious. I have no idea how I kept myself composed, but I somehow managed to keep my composure and say that no, it was a comparison, not a definition. That would be, by far, the funniest moment behind the desk.
'Merica, aw yeah...
That last one came from an artist that goes by the name of SharpWriter, and he makes a lot of these. For example...
I must say I find those rather tasteless. Way too bombastic for me.
They're absolutely ridiculous and over the top, and absolutely meant to be laughed at. Which I am doing, heartily. *g*
If you were going for deadpan there and I missed it, Des, I apologize.
~Neshomeh, who celebrated her freedom to feel disillusioned, cynical, and not particularly patriotic by spending her afternoon at a local anime convention. Woo!
My sometimes-inability to recognise sarcasm and jokes strikes again, it would seem.
Though, to be honest, even looking at them like that doesn't make them funny for me.
Very well designed, even if the blade is silly.
I mean, come on, Obama riding a lion while giving a press conference with a crossbow is so realistic, but that two-tone lightsaber is just absurd.
Yes, Alaska is indeed part of the good ol' US of A, despite what UPS tries to tell us, and we are going to celebrate our Independence Day just as well as our fellow Americans down in the Lower 48! We shall set off our fireworks while riding our moose around Town Square! The northern lights shall shine red, white, and blue tonight! Our grills will melt our Igloos, but that's OK, BBQ salmon burgers are worth it!
In other news, IM BAAACK! Ya miss me? Don't answer that, I know you did. And, I have a whole lot more time on my hands now, so hopefully a certain crossover mission can be completed soon, along with other missions. It's good to be back, folks. Good to be back.
Now, tune in to our Nation's radio station, sit back, and enjoy these America pics, patriots.
'Merica, aw yeah...
That last one came from an artist that goes by the name of SharpWriter, and he makes a lot of these. For example...
And make pretty lights in the sky, of course, as well as loudness and a bit of danger for idiots. What better way to celebrate America?
I'll be heading over to Randa's house to finish our next mission in celebration! :D
Watch out for the fireworks, everyone- don't get burned like my brother did last year!
"How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!" — Thomas Jefferson
"Happily for America, happily, we trust, for the whole human race, they pursued a new and more noble course. They accomplished a revolution which has no parallel in the annals of human society." — James Madison
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it." -- Thomas Paine
Famous quotes from some of the Founding Fathers regarding what we Americans, and possibly others as well, celebrate today. Fire works, barbecues and the National Anthem in store for me tonight, and more fun writing for all of us!
(That was a lot of talking)
Hooray for freedom to write whatever crazy things float into my head! Hooray for being able to talk about anarchy without being arrested! Hooray for peaceful rallies!
Also, no fireworks for me. It's pouring here.
I was not referring just to you.
Well, I do that most days anyway, but today I remember the people that are under extra stress because of fireworks.
Go ahead and celebrate while we have riots and stuff. I'm sure most people won't mind.
The next-door neighbors put out some paper lanterns that look a lot better than my nets, but I'm still beating them in luminosity and coverage by about a factor of 10. Running more in parallel this year, I've decreased blowouts and small fires by about 75%.
And their fight is what I celebrate. I do believe that Huinesoron has a point, though. :/
Anyway, I'm off to set off a few miniature bombs in my front yard. Ssh! Don't tell the police, that's illegal where I live. :/
Happy Fourth, everyone!
Though it does seem a bit like you were wasting your time, no? I mean, whatever your definition of 'free', I'm pretty sure your former incompetent overlords have got at least as much of it as you...
hS