I miss the hills of Ansalon, and the kender villages. I miss the mountain home of the gnomes, and the Inn of the Last Home.

At the same time, I miss shredding the streets, or swinging above them. I miss being a superhero that would only be cool in the 90s.

I miss the private worlds and characters I created in my head, based on a mish-mash of a dozen books, comics, and video games. I miss using a keyblade to fight Trollocs along Raistlin Majere and Red Sonja.

Gods pity me, but I miss my stupid gary stu-like fantasy self from when I was ten, and all the impossible adventures I had as him. Which probably isn't exactly what you're talking about, but it fits the theme of fantastic nostalgia.

Especially the closet ones that lead to Narnia, and the ones hidden cleverly behind the schools that lead to stranger places by far. I miss having true companions who didn't just accept me for who I was, but actually preferred me that way.

I miss exploring underwater and outerspace civilizations. I miss flying spaceships. I miss the bubble-shaped martian colonies and the impossible martian canals. I miss navigating labyrinths and learning the true names of dragons.

(I also think most people my age miss Hogwarts - I certainly miss being in Ravenclaw, though maybe not getting lost on the staircases.)

I miss exploring strange new worlds. I miss seeking out new life and new civilizations.

Oh what I would give to go once more where none have gone before...

THE EMPEROR... sure misses being able to walk.

I miss Mars. I miss sitting in the little cafes in Odessa, watching the waves of the Hellas Sea crash against the breakwater as the sun sinks and Phobos rises in the west.

I miss my ship - a battleworn old Akira, but mine nonetheless. Free to save the quadrant one planet at a time.

And I keep catching myself looking upwards for dragons...

The stories we tell ourselves are as much a part of who we are as our history is. Nostalgia doesn't care about whether a place is real or not, it only cares how much you care for its memory.

I've been many "theres." I stood--for Gilead, for the Calla--against Thunderclap's wolves alongside Roland's ka-tet. I defended the hallways of Balamb Garden with the other SeeDs when the Galbadian soldiers attacked. I wandered through the Labyrinth with Sarah. I was on the bridge of the Rachel when Jake gave the order to ram the Blade Ship (and wish I could have stayed longer; I miss them all dearly.) I watched the unconscious Terra make it back to safety while the Realm of Darkness closed in around Aqua and me. I danced with the Nubians as we celebrated the safety of our princess Aida.

None of those things happened, yet I still experienced them. Not physically, in the world around me, but emotionally, in my head? They absolutely happened. The fact that they didn't actually happen doesn't devalue the experience I had. I think that's why we can feel nostalgia for these things: the events aren't real, but the experience itself is.

I think this is also why I tend to write scenery porn-levels of description. I see those places--see them very well--because I've been there.

I miss Fangorn. Sometimes I think the quiet smoldering rage of watching old forests be swallowed by housing developments is tied directly to that nostalgia for a forest that never existed. I miss Tortall, too, even though the Emelan series was my favorite. And, even though I've only a passing familiarity with the 'verse, the Isle of Roke is a powerful place in my dreams and longing.

It's funny, I was just talking today to a friend about the longing, desire, thirst for things we do not understand, which cannot be articulated, and how it is such an important and central part of us. Everyone finds that differently, but it was C.S. Lewis, I think, who pointed it out as one of the greatest connectors of people, and I think it's something that makes up so much art and literature. Tolkien wasn't just describing a beautiful forest, he was reaching for the articulation of a very specific place in the heart, not just the mind, that resonates so strongly with those of us who articulate that desire in the same direction.

(Kinda cool, actually; as we were talking, driving down from the mountains back into town, the rays of sunlight literally filled the valley where town lies, bending through the clouds, and on the southern horizon, dark clouds turned into rain over the hills. It was one of those odd moments where - Calvin and Hobbes, right? - the landscape oddly reflected the conversation.)

As such I miss the sands of Kharak and the Cathedral of Kadesh.

Like you said, I've never actually been there. I can go back, insomuch as anyone can, at any point in time. The only time I can remember not missing it is before I read it, holding a copy of The Last Battle and wondering what the heck this was and should I maybe read it?

I miss the Shire too. This is a little different, though. I feel like I used to have a different image of the Shire than I do now. A pre-movie image, perhaps? I also feel like there was so much more of it once, but I forgot and now I can't find it again. :,(

Now that you've got me thinking about it, I miss a lot. I miss Rohan. I miss Prydia so much I can't even read those books anymore. There's a ridiculous land from my dreams once that I miss so much that every time I go to sleep I try to dream about it. I never have, and perhaps it's for the best, as that particular land is based off a real place. A mansion that only appears in nightmares, but I still want to be there.

I miss people too; people I never knew, who never existed. Not even fictional people, just people who never were. A confused four-year-old's conglomeration of one of my uncles and my granddad, I think. A boyfriend who never wore anything but green - but I've never had a boyfriend. A pet owl - but who keeps owls as pets in the real world?

I've never missed fictional characters like that. Sometimes I miss my own characters, but it's never this sharp but deep stabbing feeling, like I'm truly missing something from my life, something I once had. That moment when it catches you unawares and you find you're almost -

Okay, I need to look into this stupid sentimentality. But yeah, I get what you're saying. I'm also glad I'm not the only one.

Doesn't sound crazy in the slightest. I'll join you. *offers refreshing socially acceptable beverage of your choice and a pick of comfortable spots*

No, you don't sound crazy. At least, not to me (and I am only supposedly sane). Especially the friends part. I've been around for about three years (wait, that much? Huh), but I've been drifting on and off. I do, however, experience something rather similar to what you've described in another place: this RP. The RP is always there, but the people change. Some move on, some return after disappearing... the connections between people shift. Sometimes I look back and sigh in melancholia (when I don't cringe, that is).