Subject: Re: Blank Sprite
Author:
Posted on: 2014-06-15 05:56:00 UTC
Sorry this won't be a very long review. I read this during work yesterday, and haven't had time to respond until now.
As with the other parts of this story, you're a great hand at giving us odd and clever little details that hint at what's going on, without giving away what that is. (I still haven't figured it out, anyway.) You're making good use of the concept of the Defectives, and tying their presence into the mystery. I also want to mention the driving chase scene as an excellent action scene; it was very realistic and believable, and I was easily able to follow the action.
One thing I think needed a bit of expansion was the presence of the canon characters who appear here, Madoka and Homura. They don't speak very much in the scenes they appear in. I know the agents are the main characters, and this is a PPC story, but I still think the canons would have a bit more to say, given the situation.
Something confused me about the police officers who appear here, too. Are they supposed to be the same ones who appeared in part 2? Because if they are just generic police, it seems weird they wouldn't question the agents more, and especially give them a lift anywhere.