Subject: Contributing to List
Author:
Posted on: 2014-06-16 12:42:00 UTC
“... it handed to bottle back to Mittens ...” should probably be “the bottle”.
I do know near to nothing about Supernatural, but I can see that these were two terrible ‘fics. Well done. I like your agents, and I liked the reappearance of Miss MacKinnon.
HG
Interlude first: https://rc170.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/interlude-03-the-reannual/ Chronologically it takes place right after their last mission, which ended with them getting the message.
The mission: https://rc170.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/ski-trip-aka-much-improbable-such-random-wow/
And a (short) epilogue: https://rc170.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/epilogue-01-the-nusery/
Now off to update the relevant wiki pages. *merrily skips out*
“... it handed to bottle back to Mittens ...” should probably be “the bottle”.
I do know near to nothing about Supernatural, but I can see that these were two terrible ‘fics. Well done. I like your agents, and I liked the reappearance of Miss MacKinnon.
HG
Typo fixed.
And I'm glad you liked it. It's good to know that it isn't confusing for readers who are not familiar with the series.
Thanks you for giving me things to surreptitiously read while working the stingray touch tank today!
"The Reannual:"
FANTASTIC characterization of the Reannual. Love it, love it, love it. Out of curiosity, is this an original interpretation, or did you find an old source featuring the Reannual? I only ask because we're short on links about it on the wiki.
"Ski Trip:"
I like this idea, of springing two separate but related fics on the agents, and I liked the descriptions you used in showing the transition between the two fics--virgin design space, I believe. These fics also had some hilarious errors, and you made great use of them through visual puns.
The personalities of the agents also shined through quite strongly in this mission; I liked seeing them get riled up about some of the trivialized horrors being misused as drama in the fics, as well as the biological idiocies going on. This also came through in their delicious assassination of Luis. I do think they used the word "charge" a little too frequently, though. You can discuss mistakes without always framing is as part of the charge list, especially when the fic makes errors as bald as the ones this pair did. It just gets repetitive to keep seeing the word "charge" over and over.
"The Nursery:"
Just a question and a small note, here. First, where did the name "Ammy" come from? I forget if this is someone in Mittens's past that I've read about already, or is it someone he hasn't mentioned yet? (I like "Moss" as the last name. It's cute!)
And I just wanted to point out that Miss MacKinnon isn't really elderly; she just looks that way from description. I reckon it's time I made her her own wiki page, considering she's shown up several times now. (Which makes me INORDINATELY PROUD AND BOASTFUL that I recruited her--but anyway.)
List o' mistakes (All in "Ski Trip"):
". . . a couple of disposable girlfriends of her were introduced . . ."
". . . went to the station to confront Detective's Benson and Stabler . . ." (no apostrophe)
"'It was Detective's Benson and Stabler . . .'" (same)
(Also, fun fact: this was a guest appearance by the main characters from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit! And I was weirdly happy to see them, too. It's actually a legitimate inclusion, as they would investigate a case involving an attempted rape. Although, SVU takes place in New York; I'm not sure where Supernatural takes place . . .)
To answer the last part first: For some reason it never occurred to me to check up on the names Benson and Stabler. I'll have to do a small re-write where I have the agents send them home to their own canon.
And while I'm at it, I can look into my overuse of the word 'charge'. I hadn't thought much about it, but I can see your point.
Also thank you for your kind words. It's been a very long while since my last mission, so it's nice to know that I didn't do too bad with this one.
I had no sources for the Reannual other than what it said on the wiki and of course how the annual grape wines work in Discworld. I looked around, but there just seemed to be nothing. If nobody objects to my interpretation, I'll add it to the wiki along with a link to the interlude so the page can get a bit more content.
Ammy is short for Amaterasu, the Japanese sun goddess and also the protagonist in Ōkami, Mittens' absolute favourite game (and mine). I've shown him play it once or twice, but mostly it's an injoke to amuse my non-PPC friends who read the mission. ^^ (Also, really trivial trivia about me: I once named one of my foster kittens Ammy.)
I wanted the baby to have a new first name because otherwise, she would end up being named Elisabeth Moss and while she is a great actress, it just struck me as being confusing.
I think having a page for Miss MacKinnon would be a great idea. If Mittens is going to visit the Nursery, she will probably feature again. And I remember the mission where you recruited her, that's why I picked her for this. :D
Good job dealing with it!
And I look forward to Ammy Moss cameos. She sounds adorable. 8)
It should be this instead: http://rc170.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/epilogue-02-the-nusery/