Subject: This suggested a story to me.
Author:
Posted on: 2014-05-13 16:04:00 UTC
It's an off-the-cuff attempt to answer the question of 'exactly how nasty can you make the PPC sound - without changing what they actually do?'. It's more inspired by my own comments than wobbles' post, but it seemed better to put it at the top of the thread.
The elf settled at the table and looked around at his companions. Tall and dark, with a fierce light flickering in his eyes, he was one of the most infamous Deep Elves of all time, and a Kinslayer three times over. Those who crossed him rarely survived the experience.
“I thought that went rather well,” he said, stretching his arms and leaning back in a show of lazy indulgance.
To his left, the ancient vampire grinned, baring her cruel fangs. She may have looked young, but those dark eyes had seen hundreds of years roll by. “Yes,” she agreed, a hiss in her voice. “And the girl certainly deserved what she got – or is that the other way round?”
The third member of the quartet didn’t bother to turn towards her. What use would it be, when his eyes had been torn from their sockets weeks before, leaving only gaping wounds? “I was impressed by how skillfully you brought her down,” he said to the elf.
The dark one smiled, reliving the moment his arrow had pinned Aragorn’s new bride to the tree. The first shot had not killed her instantly, and he had watched as the light slowly faded from her eyes, her life draining out with her dripping blood. “Thank you,” he said. “I was rather more taken with your partner’s efforts.”
Again, the blind man didn’t turn – but what need was there, when he could hear his ragged-haired partner’s quiet giggling, that constant background to their concentration? “She has her moments,” he allowed. “And she is very good at exorcisms.”
“She needed to be,” the bloodsucker recalled. “The things Legolas was trying to do to Gimli…” She shuddered as she recalled the filth that had permeated the elf’s heart – the violations he had planned to inflict on his friend, the horrors of his unbridled lust for his fellow man. “It was almost as bad as that village.”
The fell elf chuckled, a sound that seemed to rise up from subterranian caverns, not from any pair of lungs. “I’m glad that’s gone,” he said, smirking at the memory of flames licking over thatched roofs, the cries of children and mothers as they burned within their homes. “It was a blight on the world, it truly was.”
“Well, it’s been fun,” the vampire said, and her colleagues nodded as they recalled the long hunt: how they had watched their prey from the shadows, recording their most intimate moments, gathering everything they could. Then the denument, when they had exposed each character’s weaknesses, baring their secret deeds for all to see – and, while they stood confused, had struck, murdering the girl and tearing the lovers apart, barring them forever from their twisted passions.
“Yes,” the eyeless man stated. “It certainly has.”
Or, in the non-creepy version:
Dafydd sat down and stretched his arms. “I thought that went rather well,” he said, glancing at his companions.
Selene grinned. “Yes,” she agreed. “And the girl certainly deserved what she got – or is that the other way round?”
Salamander, the blind Slasher, smiled. “I was impressed by how skillfully you brought her down,” he said to Dafydd.
The elf grinned. “Thank you,” he said. “I was rather more taken with your partner’s efforts.”
Kayleigh, sitting next to Salamander, was off in her own world (as usually), giggling at some remembered joke. “She has her moments,” Sal allowed. “And she is very good at exorcisms.”
“She needed to be,” Selene pointed out “The things Legolas was trying to do to Gimli…” She shuddered, thinking of the way the elf had practically thrown himself at his friend in a display about as far from their canonical relationship as it was possible to get. “It was almost as bad as that village.”
Dafydd chuckled. “I’m glad that’s gone,” he said, picturing the glittery cottages Aragorn’s ‘new queen’ had created to be her origin. “It was a blight on the world, it truly was.”
“Well, it’s been fun,” Selene said, standing up and looking for the exit.
Salamander reflected on their joint mission and shrugged. “Yes,” he agreed, “it certainly has.”
That was actually alarmingly fun. (And not canonical, since Sal was only blinded-and-back-in-HQ after Dafydd had retired - but apart from that, it's close enough) It also demonstrates the points I've tried to make: that anything can sound bad if you phrase it right.
hS