Uh oh. I foresee a power struggle in the land of Plort.

Subject: Uh oh. I foresee a power struggle in the land of Plort.
Author: Outhra
Posted on: 2014-04-30 22:22:00 UTC

Either that, or a series of confusing encounters between the Protectorate's own Barons and a citizen only named The Baron.

(If you have no idea what I'm talking about, the Permission Givers were named the Barons of a sort-of-medieval Internet country called the the Protectorate of Plort a while back as part of a Board-wide activity. If you already knew that, well, explaining things when there's potential for uncertainty is better than potentially leaving someone completely lost, right?)

Anyway, back to the welcome-to-the-Board message. Greetings and bienvenue, Baron Hugenstein! Have a celestial bronze magnifying glass! Sherlock himself would (probably) be (momentarily) impressed by so honed a detective tool!

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Newbie by The Baron on 2014-04-30 02:01:00 UTC Reply

Hello loves. :) If it isn't obvious, this is my first time here. I go by The Baron (although my "full name" is Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein; Mortal Instruments fans may get the reference). The lovely Iximaz (whom I know in the real world) put in a good word about this new stretch of Internetdom and suggested I investigate--and, being both an avid fan and evader of fanfiction due to my zero-tolerance level of crappy writing, I thought I'd do so. :)

FANDOMS (in order of obsession): Doctor Who, Sherlock, The Mortal Instruments, The Fault in Our Stars (and other John Green tales), Supernatural, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Divergent, The Fantastic Foursome (and other big-name British YouTubers), The Most Popular Girls in School (also YouTube), and The Hunger Games.

I also enjoy writing original stories and songs, playing piano and guitar, avoiding eye contact with most people, collecting fandom-y pins for my pin hat, eating Oreo pudding, and sleeping.

Feel free to talk to me. :)

HEEELLOOOO THAR! by TwisTed_R3V3NG3 on 2014-05-07 22:17:00 UTC Reply

Hi! I've heard of most of your fandoms, and am in some of them myself! Now, for your n00b gift, have a keychain-TARDIS! Also, have a coupon for a FREE custom gunblade, smithed by yours truly!
Hello there by Pippa's Ghost on 2014-05-02 11:26:00 UTC Reply

Hello there. Welcome to this madness. And have an Immortal Instrument, or at least a My Immortal Instrument: a the guitar that randomly changes into a whiny love-struck goffick boy.

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-02 23:28:00 UTC Reply

Thanks, it's what I've always wanted. *discreetly places guitar in the closet where it can't sing sweet nothings in my ear*

Well hello there! by 99Hedgehog on 2014-05-02 04:24:00 UTC Reply

I'm 99Hedgehog but call me 99 for short. Here have a uh... um... gimmie a sec.

*crashing sounds*

Here it is! A set of Tau Recon armour and a Pulse Rifle, both from Warhammer 40,000!

The Emperor Protects!

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-02 23:30:00 UTC Reply

COOL! *puts on armor and grabs pulse rifle* BRING IT

You, sir or ma'am, are cool. :D

Sir. And thank you, you seem pretty cool too. (nm) by 99Hedgehog on 2014-05-03 02:36:00 UTC Reply

Well hello there! by World-Jumper on 2014-05-01 17:26:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to our humble Board. I'm World-Jumper, the guy co-writing a mission with Iximaz. I don't know if she's told you about me, but if she has, here I am!

I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to greeting you. Still, I think it is high time we roll out the Welcome Wagon!

Ah, a Percy Jackson fan! In which case, I give you a goblet from Camp Half-Blood! Yes, it still works. You can drink all of the assorted drinks you want!

Thanks! And congratulations! by The Baron on 2014-05-02 23:34:00 UTC Reply

Read the posts Iximaz added. Congratulations!

And thanks for the goblet. *fills it up with orange soda*
Don't worry, I've told a bunch of my friends. by Iximaz on 2014-05-01 22:11:00 UTC Reply

*evil cackle*

By the way, congratulations on getting that job! I remember you posted a thing a while back asking people for questions about Alaska. I assume that was for the same job?

*offers a hug and a thermos of hot chocolate* Seriously, congrats!

Oh boy. by World-Jumper on 2014-05-02 01:31:00 UTC Reply

Let me state that what she has said about me is not true. Unless it is positive, in which case it is most certainly true!

Nope, different one. Before, I was trying to be a our guide on the Alaska Railroad. Unfortunately, there were 22 kids in the class, and 10 jobs. Yeah. Still, I like the job I have now. I mean, I haven't started work yet, but still, it seems awesome.

Thanks! And don't worry, I'll answer those questions very soon. I just need to get through tomorrow, then I'm home free.

Warm hugs by Seychelles on 2014-05-01 04:34:00 UTC Reply

Please take this Nightcrawler Plushie and X-men Jacket

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-02 23:35:00 UTC Reply

Warm hugs to you as well. :) *hugs on plushie and puts on the jacket*

Uh oh. I foresee a power struggle in the land of Plort. by Outhra on 2014-04-30 22:22:00 UTC Reply

Either that, or a series of confusing encounters between the Protectorate's own Barons and a citizen only named The Baron.

(If you have no idea what I'm talking about, the Permission Givers were named the Barons of a sort-of-medieval Internet country called the the Protectorate of Plort a while back as part of a Board-wide activity. If you already knew that, well, explaining things when there's potential for uncertainty is better than potentially leaving someone completely lost, right?)

Anyway, back to the welcome-to-the-Board message. Greetings and bienvenue, Baron Hugenstein! Have a celestial bronze magnifying glass! Sherlock himself would (probably) be (momentarily) impressed by so honed a detective tool!

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-04-30 23:57:00 UTC Reply

I will use it to look monsters dead in the eye before I impale them with my Celestial-bronze killing machine. *puts on shades*
Ugh, links again. by Outhra on 2014-04-30 22:28:00 UTC Reply

I thought I did everything I needed to do that time! I just don't know what went wrong.

All right, here's the Plort link in non-altered form. Hopefully it won't glitch out again for an even less palatable reason.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XFoRXDPMJ2HKR_HfxDl4ihYPNN1qvnjAj3fFVPWSb3c/pub

Welcome, Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein! by Legacy on 2014-04-30 20:38:00 UTC Reply

I hope I spelled all of that right. But who cares, right? Long German names are awesome.

Anywho, have a welcome Fluffy Velociraptor! And then I have an Elemental Time Squirrel. I'm not sure if you want this guy. Since my hair keeps catching on fire, I think he's shooting fireballs at me in the past. (Get over here, you stupid little- OW!)

Ouch. Welcome to the PPC. Beware the Malignant Architecture, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-04-30 23:59:00 UTC Reply

Fluffy Velociraptors are awesome! I'll ride him into battle and call him Squeaky. :)

That Elemental Time Squirrel sounds like a tricky one. If you want, I can stea--ahem, *borrow* my friend's TARDIS and give him a stern talking-to.

Hey! Hands off my TARDIS! (nm) by Iximaz on 2014-05-01 01:18:00 UTC Reply

This is the thug life I do what I want (nm) by The Baron on 2014-05-01 02:41:00 UTC Reply

Oh hey, more Hunger Games fans! by Herr Wozzeck on 2014-04-30 13:29:00 UTC Reply

And oh my, is that a pianist I see there? Sweet! I'm a violist/composer IRL, so musicians are always awesome.

Welcome to the PPC, sir Baron! We love newbies here, so take your shoes off, and leave your sanity at the door!

As a welcome gift, have some music by Iannis Xenakis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLgDoyO74YA

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-01 00:02:00 UTC Reply

Wow! I'm listening to this music now. It's very twisted and dark and macabre. It sounds like my theme tune. >:)

And if I may ask, how did you learn piano? I learned it a bit unconventionally; my teacher (bless him) teaches me using "tabs", like guitar players use. He says it's better for ear training (and he certainly isn't wrong). Do you play like that, or with sheet music? :)

Well, again, I'm a violist/composer. by Herr Wozzeck on 2014-05-01 00:08:00 UTC Reply

I didn't start doing keyboard until it was absolutely necessary. In college. And even now, I still suck pretty bad at it.

But, since I started on violin and moved to viola, I play sheet music. Ear training isn't actually all that difficult, really, so I find it ludicrous that tablature teaching would somehow make it easier.

Sheet music it is, then by The Baron on 2014-05-01 00:17:00 UTC Reply

My teacher's an eccentric guy, but friendly, and I think maybe he uses tabs because they're applicable to all instruments...or something. And that's cool. :)

My friend plays violin and cello, among other things. I love the sound of those types of instruments.

I use sheet music... by Iximaz on 2014-05-01 01:21:00 UTC Reply

on the piano, but it's more for just learning the notes. After that it's all muscle memory for me.

French horn, on the other hand, I still need sheet music (except for pep band music, but I only have it memorized because it's the same music for every football- American football, sorry- and basketball game).

You insinuate that there is any other kind of football. by World-Jumper on 2014-05-01 02:28:00 UTC Reply

I don't know why everybody else in the world keeps calling soccer "football." They must be confused.

Yes, nerdy as I am, I actually do enjoy watching football.

WHO DAT!?
WHO DAT!?
WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS!?!

Probably because American "football" rarely features feet. by Outhra on 2014-05-01 03:13:00 UTC Reply

I say this as an American: I really have no idea why American football gets exclusive rights to the name "football" here when the word fits soccer so much better. Baseball has bases as a central component of scoring points and winning the game. Likewise with basketball, and racketball, and volleyball(a volley isn't a physical object, but it counts as something important, and it's something that happens to the ball), and the ones that don't have "ball" in the name are usually named with something crucial to the game in mind. Feet aren't that iconic an element to American football. I mean, neither form of football would work if you had no feet, but that's how it is for most sports. You don't get much of a sense of how important feet are to the progression of the game in American football. In association football, feet are kind of the whole gimmick of the sport, which makes it a little odd that it's referred to as the contracted "soccer" in this one location. I guess it's like the use of yards as a unit of measurement rather than the more universal meters. America likes to say it's special when talking to the other countries.

Besides, there can be so many better names for American football! Tackleball! Rushball! Helmetball!
I had intended those as a joke, but rushball actually sounds like a good sport name.

Seconded! by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-05-01 04:59:00 UTC Reply

I'm always thrown when it occurs to me that feet are so much more important in the sport most of the world refers to as football than in what America thinks of as football. I mean, what's up with that?

I am also American.

And I think I'm going to start calling football rushball.

Thirded! by Iximaz on 2014-05-01 15:41:00 UTC Reply

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: get everyone to call American football 'rushball'.

I was going to suggest tackleball, but then I saw it was already taken :P

Sweet! You're well-played... by The Baron on 2014-05-01 02:24:00 UTC Reply

in instruments. I can play piano and I'm just learning to play guitar. One of my friends plays French horn.

I'm an idiot by The Baron on 2014-05-01 02:25:00 UTC Reply

Wait a sec. You are that friend. Ignore everything that just transpired.

...I should probably tell you... Baron's a girl. (nm) by Iximaz on 2014-04-30 14:47:00 UTC Reply

Shouldn't it be Baroness then? (nm) by Ekyl on 2014-05-01 07:41:00 UTC Reply
Oops... Sorry, Baron... (nm) by Herr Wozzeck on 2014-04-30 14:56:00 UTC Reply

Lol by The Baron on 2014-05-01 00:02:00 UTC Reply

It's fine. I should've specified.

Hello there! by Desdendelle on 2014-04-30 08:25:00 UTC Reply

Welcome, goodfellow! I hereby present you with the gift of tea. Just don't let the leaves eat you or your pets.

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-01 00:15:00 UTC Reply

Are the leaves dangerous? *looks at them* Do they have The Grim?

Well... by Desdendelle on 2014-05-02 13:04:00 UTC Reply

I have no idea what The Grim is. Unless it's a large black dog.
The leaves tend to eat people. And things. And people. So don't let them.

*waves* by Ailavyn Siniyash on 2014-04-30 08:00:00 UTC Reply

Hello and greetings!

I give to you now a lined Infinite Notebook, complete with urple covers and wilver binding. Fear for your eyes!

Welcome!

-Aila

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-01 00:19:00 UTC Reply

Sweet! *doodles in notebook* I like your name by the way :)

Hello and Welcome by sjosten on 2014-04-30 05:44:00 UTC Reply

You collect pins? Have you, by any chance, looked into the pins sold in and around Disney World? They have thousands of fandom pins, so it might be worth looking into. Also, since a welcome wouldn't be complete without a gift, have a fancy hat. No Baron is truly dressed without a fancy hat.

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-01 02:23:00 UTC Reply

I love hats! :D *puts hat on and poses* And I haven't looked into any of Disney's pins but I will do that soon.

My first PPC welcome! :D by Tigeress on 2014-04-30 04:34:00 UTC Reply

Urm... Well then. I hope you have a good stay, and for your gift... Have a brand-new wilver guitar! :D

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-01 02:27:00 UTC Reply

I love it! *plays it loud at 3 am*

Welcome! by eatpraylove on 2014-04-30 04:08:00 UTC Reply

That's a very nice list of fandoms you have. Your welcome gifts are a "Keep Calm and Find the Doctor" T-shirt, a bucket of movie popcorn, a gun-shaped lighter, and a toy Firebolt. Have fun! XD

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-01 02:28:00 UTC Reply

*rides on toy Firebolt wearing T-shirt munching on popcorn and wielding my gun-shaped lighter at people* FEAR ME xD

Welcome! by son_of_heaven176 on 2014-04-30 03:47:00 UTC Reply

So, Iximaz led you here, huh? That's pretty good! Have you read the Constitution and the Original Series yet?

As for your newbie gift...
*rummages through bag of holding*
Aha!
*pulls out Poke Ball*
Here, have a Delphox! This witchlike Pokemon should be a perfect companion to a Harry Potter fan!

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-01 02:29:00 UTC Reply

I did read the Constitution and I have completed the first installment of the Original Series (where the lovely founders busted up a bandgirl Sue and kicked her out of Middle Earth).

*takes Poke Ball and puts it in my back pocket* Thanks for the new secret weapon... >:D

Hi! by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-04-30 03:39:00 UTC Reply

Good to meet you! Who's your favorite Doctor?

Have a graphite drawing of your favorite fictional character in an ostentatious-but-not-really-all-that-expensive frame!

Welcome to the PPC.

Okay, that came off as a bit more ominous than I intended. Sorry. It's not (that) ominous, here, really! You'll have fun!

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-01 02:32:00 UTC Reply

"It's not (that) ominous here." Sure, that's what they all say. xD And thank you. :)

My favorite Doctor, at the risk of sounding like a Basic White Girl, is David. It is noteworthy that I met Matt at a con this past month (with Iximaz, in fact). That was a fun event. :)

Who's your favorite Doctor? *hangs drawing* And thank you for the gift.

Oh, so you've been told that before? by Snowy the Sane Fangirl on 2014-05-01 04:54:00 UTC Reply

*whispers* Don't believe them! Run for the hills! Save yourself!

Just kidding! No really.

We can be basic white girls together! Actually, while David Tennant is an incredibly attractive man, I was more attracted to his character (I think) because of his interest in books and literary figures, which sort of bleeds into all of them, but he's the one I first noticed it in. Okay, he's also really hot.

You're welcome! I hope you enjoy your time here!

Out f all the Doctors I've seen... by Iximaz on 2014-05-01 15:46:00 UTC Reply

Being 1, 4, 9, 10, 11, and the War Doctor, I'm not lying when I say that I love all of them. Equally? Well... ^_^ I won't lie, I also find Tennent attractive, but the funny thing is is that this one guy I'm head over heels for looks almost exactly like Tennent- and I liked that guy before I started watching Doctor Who. So I'm a reverse fangirl?

But to be really honest, any Doctor that mentions Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling is immediately my favorite, so Tennent would have made the #1 spot on my favorites list even if he looked like Igor from Young Frankenstein.

Well, that's not fair. by Outhra on 2014-05-01 21:35:00 UTC Reply

That means that the first seven Doctors would never have even gotten a chance to be your favorite, since they were replaced before the Harry Potter series even came out! Then again, most of the Classic Who Doctors don't really seem like the sort of people who would make a reference to it in the first place, except maybe Four. Well, Seven might. He was Merlin once.

I know, I'm joking. by Iximaz on 2014-05-01 22:05:00 UTC Reply

And you never know, five might have made a reference. (Assuming, of course, that HP had been published at the time.)

The point I was trying to make was that most of my love for Tennent was a result of the references. Though he convinced me he'd be a good Doctor with the 'barefoot on the moon' scene.

I am glad they've decided to have an older regeneration of the Doctor. It's kind of like they're going back to their roots; funny but of trivia, Hartnell and Capaldi are/were both 55 when they first appeared as the Doctor. Anyway, hopefully this'll dissuade the fangirls who only care about the HAWT young Doctors- hey, look! A flying pig!

I had intended to not sound entirely serious either. by Outhra on 2014-05-01 22:49:00 UTC Reply

Apparently, I'm bad at it. I liked the Tenth Doctor's references, too. How do I prove myself... I know! Here's Ten quoting from The Lion King! The Christmas Invasion is still the best Doctor Who Christmas special.

I've heard rumors that Moffat was going to leave the show after Series Eight(hooray!), but he'd kill of Twelve before he left. I hope that's not true. We've already had a Doctor's run cut tragically short with Nine, and having an incarnation of the Doctor written out of the show because the producer is leaving instead of the other way around would be horrible. Twelve being older means that there'd be so much potential for a new dynamic between the Doctor and his companions after two Doctors in a row that the companions keep falling in love with, and I wouldn't want to see that rushed or ended abruptly to make way for another regeneration story when we only just had one recently.

Wait, the Troll is leaving?! by Iximaz on 2014-05-02 12:34:00 UTC Reply

Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhh!

Let's just hope Capaldi gets a longer run than Eccleston. Man, I miss the ninth Doctor. :(

As far as I know, it's still only hearsay. by Outhra on 2014-05-02 21:10:00 UTC Reply

I hope it's true, though. Even if Moffat had been a good writer, which he hasn't been in years, he's been showrunner for four years now, and has created three seprate season-long driving plots that he had complete or near-complete creative control of. It's time someone else got to have a little fun with the show. Maybe they can ret-retcon the mess Moffat made on the Day of the Doctor.

I miss Nine too. The worst part is that Eccleston had initially been planned to stay around for three seasons, but resigned after the first because of problems on the set. Can you imagine what the show would have been like if he'd been around for three whole seasons? We would've gotten to see the Ninth Doctor versus the Cybermen!

I didn't hear this by The Baron on 2014-05-02 23:27:00 UTC Reply

This is certainly news to me. And I don't mind Moffat. I will say I preferred the RTD era, though.

Greetings! by Dark Brother 16 on 2014-04-30 03:13:00 UTC Reply

Hello, there.

That's interesting. I actually learned about the PPC through my brother. He is not a member, but he is a fan of the PPC.

Oh, I like Harry Potter, too! I have plans on writing a crossover on Fanfiction.net with Twilight. It should be amusing.

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-05-01 02:33:00 UTC Reply

That certainly WILL be amusing. Will the tie-in be Cedric, by chance? Or did you have a different idea?

No, nothing like that by Dark Brother 16 on 2014-05-01 03:32:00 UTC Reply

Actually, what I have in mind is a sort of original story that dances between the Twilight Saga and the Harry Potter series. I will create original characters from both franchises and team them together to fight against a villain that wishes to subjugate wizards, vampires and Muggles all at once. I will eventually give the canon characters cameos and such, but the focus will be on OC's.

I think it's fairly safe to say that I do fanfiction a little different from most other people. Too often Crossovers are about romance, or are romance centric. You know what I mean?

Heya, Baron! by Iximaz on 2014-04-30 02:08:00 UTC Reply

It's about time you showed up on here! Lessee, newbie presents... *digs through pockets*

You get a squawking bunny! It has great big teeth!

Thanks! by The Baron on 2014-04-30 02:40:00 UTC Reply

Sweet! *hugs bunny* I will name it Stud