Subject: ...oh, you just had to go and say that, didn't you.
Author:
Posted on: 2014-04-28 16:29:00 UTC
(I expect this is a mix of silliness and vague seriousness, though I could be entirely wrong...)
"But why the Empire State building?" Tony Stark let his head fall back. "Seriously, why can't anyone ever take over a club?"
"Speak for yourself," Dean Winchester replied. He checked his gun's magazine as he grumbled. "We never get to deal with stuff like that."
"Uh," said Dean's brother, Sam. "Aren't you forgetting Lucifer?"
"That was different," Dean retorted. "He didn't take over buildings, just the world."
"Well, we've had to deal with things like a giant slug eating the Statue of Liberty," Clint Barton put in. He sighed. "That was a day and a half. We had to call in Daja Kisubo--smith-mages are a big help with slugs."
"What I don't understand," put in PPC Agent Edgar Sullivan, "is why you're all together in the first place. How did you even manage to meet?"
Edgar's partner, Agent Agen_t, glanced over at him from where ze had been watching the holographic display. "The multiverse is breaking down, Sullivan. These canons meeting was only the beginning--"
"I know, I know," Edgar said with a sigh. "Sues in the Empire State building. Sounds like it'd be a regular Tuesday in the DMS."
"Obviously, these are signs of impending doom," said Hermione Granger. She widened her eyes at the looks she got. "Isn't that what you're supposed to say in situations like these?"
"Seems out of character for you," Feanor said. He was sitting cross-legged on a table, absorbed in his task of fitting wires together in a sublimely beautiful pattern. "Of course, worlds colliding tend to have that effect. Aha!" He grinned at his wires, and began to twist the entire design. "This will be good..."
"Speaking of out of character," the Ninth Doctor said mildly, "you're a good example right now. Of course, we should probably save the world from these Sues just now, shouldn't we?"
"Isn't that my line?" Rose Tyler asked.
Edgar and Agent exchanged glances.
"This isn't good," Edgar murmured, and Agent nodded. "We should probably go back to HQ. Or radio for assistance."
Agent frowned at him. "We don't use radios."
Edgar frowned right back. "It's 1945. Of course we use radios."
"No, it's 2014." Agen___t eyed zir partner. "Have you been replaced?"
"What?"
Over on the holographic display, the camera zoomed in on the Empire State building.
"We don't, leik, want to rool teh worldz!" one Sue said, tossing her hair as she stared into the camera. "We just liek whant a peice of cake~that is'nt a lieeeee--"
"Dost not listeneth to yonder wencheth," put in a Shakespeare!Sue. "We eth shallest conquereth the worldseth and liketh unstrideth they like a colossith! Ehteth~!"
"Oh, god, turn it off," Skye moaned. "I can feel my brain dribbling out my ears."
"When did you go British?" Phil Coulson asked. "I thought only Fitzsimmons were British on this plane."
Dean Winchester stared at them. "We're on a plane?" His voice went squeaky. "It's--it won't crash, right?"
"It will now you've gone and said that," Edgar muttered. "Seriously, let's just radio--"
--
And the screen goes black.
But really, you had to put in that line about the multiverse breaking down and Mary-Sues occupying the Empire State building (and I quote: "(because it's, liek, the biggest one, so it must be the mostest important!)"), so of course I couldn't resist :D And, due to that...here's your morning (nearly afternoon, actually) dose of silliness.
Enjoy? :D
~DF
(Completely unbetaed because of reasons).