Darn, you've done it now.

Subject: Darn, you've done it now.
Author: Huinesoron
Posted on: 2014-04-30 09:34:00 UTC

Now I've ended up writing a 'PPC mission if the PPC-as-a-community existed in the time of Shakespeare'. It's... well, it's quite strange.

CARTWRIGHT:
Then in this understanding, I speak on.
For we (said he, who is not me) serve them,
Proud Louis, in whose armies we enlist
And in the Queen’s battalion do we serve:
Unwonted ribaldry is our foul foe,
To seek it out and end it is our goal,
And for this cause, your tale must find its end.

SMITHSON:
Ribaldry! What nonsense rhyme is this?
Or know you not that e’en the Bard himself
Makes light amusement from the thought of lust?
Thinkest thou that ‘Puck’, and ‘Bottom’ vain,
And proud ‘Titania’ are pure chance alone,
That in their names they bear such tawdry sounds?

CARTWRIGHT:
I said not so, nor would I ever say
Such things that bear no semblence of the truth.
But there’s a world of difference ‘twixt such jests -
Such clowning, which makes the crowds laugh loud -
And words the like of which you offer here.
Though Shakespeare’s clowns may think to talk of love,
The act itself is far beyond their reach:
No naked flesh would e’er be bared on stage!

SMITHSON:
My friend, your education is remiss;
You need to visit better sorts of inn.
Or ought I to say ‘worse’?

CARTWRIGHT:
- I take your point.

hS has a strange mind

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In the vein of my recent Tumblr posts: by Lily Winterwood on 2014-04-23 04:51:00 UTC Reply

IT'S WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!

-throws confetti-

All right, to start up the Shakes party, why don't we have some questions:
1) Favourite play, of course
2) Favourite sonnet
3) Remember the PPC's A Troupe By Any Other Name? Okay, now take a Shakespeare play and figure out how a PPC adaptation would go down. Would Romeo and Juliet be exorcised by Agents from the Department of Bad Het? Would Hamlet be played by agents from the Department of Angst? Would Nume and Jenni be a shoe-in for Benedick and Beatrice?

Go forth and celebrate the Bard's birthday!

Oh, and also, because Dawn in that linked thread asked for Jules Caesar and I've been on a JC binge:

"Why should Sue-sar get to rule over everything in the multiverse like some sort of gigantic sparkling Kaiju while the rest of us have to avoid the hell out of her or risk getting trampled by her anatomically-incorrect feet? What do the people see in Sue-sar anyway? She's a mad tyrant with no regard for the canon. Heck, you could take her place and you'd actually be of some use to the plot. I mean, not like you should do that, but still. You're just as good-looking, and you're definitely smarter. We've gotta take control of our destinies, Agent Brutus; it's not up to the Narrative Laws of Comedy to decide our fate. Sue-sar's presence in the canon has lasted long enough. We should totally just stab Sue-sar."

Sorry it's late by Pippa's Ghost on 2014-04-24 19:59:00 UTC Reply

1) Hamlet, the Scottish Play, A Midsummer Night's Dream, or King Lear depending on my mood.

2) Sonnet 147 - "My love is as a fever, longing still". It's a clever idea, the way it compares love and sickness. And as a bonus, the last two lines seem to hint that the "dark lady" and "fair youth" were the same person in a fun crossdressing/genderbending sort of way.

3) How about recruiting some Shakespearean characters as PPC agents...

Two men with drawn swords stepped out of the shadows and walked towards Ivory.

"My name's Hotspur," said the younger of the two, "and this is my colleague, the Duke of Kent. He has something to say to the."

The older man, who had a shaved head, begin to speak: "Ivory Bright'ness Dove Mens-Sana Way, thou art charged with being a Mary Sue; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver'd, action-taking, whoreschild, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the child and heir of a mongrel bitch; one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deny the least syllable of thy addition."

"Any last words before we kill you?" asked Hotspur.

"You can't kill me, I'm special!" whined the Sue. "I can call herds of fire-breathing unicorns from the spirit realm to protect me."

"Why, so can I, or so can anyone, but will they come when you do call for them?"

Brilliant. by LonelyStar on 2014-04-25 05:36:00 UTC Reply

Title says it all.
I wonder what a PPC mission in iambic pentameter... by Lily Winterwood on 2014-04-24 20:07:00 UTC Reply

...would look like.

CHRISTIANNE
I had not known the Sue would make it so.
ELEDHWEN
Doubted you ever--
CHRISTIANNE
--That it comes to woe?
Good Ellie, you doth think my mind strays.
We hide us now, and soon the Sue shall pay.

Darn, you've done it now. by Huinesoron on 2014-04-30 09:34:00 UTC Reply

Now I've ended up writing a 'PPC mission if the PPC-as-a-community existed in the time of Shakespeare'. It's... well, it's quite strange.

CARTWRIGHT:
Then in this understanding, I speak on.
For we (said he, who is not me) serve them,
Proud Louis, in whose armies we enlist
And in the Queen’s battalion do we serve:
Unwonted ribaldry is our foul foe,
To seek it out and end it is our goal,
And for this cause, your tale must find its end.

SMITHSON:
Ribaldry! What nonsense rhyme is this?
Or know you not that e’en the Bard himself
Makes light amusement from the thought of lust?
Thinkest thou that ‘Puck’, and ‘Bottom’ vain,
And proud ‘Titania’ are pure chance alone,
That in their names they bear such tawdry sounds?

CARTWRIGHT:
I said not so, nor would I ever say
Such things that bear no semblence of the truth.
But there’s a world of difference ‘twixt such jests -
Such clowning, which makes the crowds laugh loud -
And words the like of which you offer here.
Though Shakespeare’s clowns may think to talk of love,
The act itself is far beyond their reach:
No naked flesh would e’er be bared on stage!

SMITHSON:
My friend, your education is remiss;
You need to visit better sorts of inn.
Or ought I to say ‘worse’?

CARTWRIGHT:
- I take your point.

hS has a strange mind
Ideas, Lily. So many ideas. (nm) by DawnFire on 2014-04-29 04:00:00 UTC Reply
PPC mission in limerick form. Or as a rap battle. (nm) by Ekyl on 2014-04-25 01:57:00 UTC Reply

A rap battle between the agents or against the Sues? (nm) by Outhra on 2014-04-25 02:16:00 UTC Reply

Either? Both? The entire mission report done AS a rap? (nm) by Ekyl on 2014-04-25 02:17:00 UTC Reply

I hope I'm not too late! by SeaTurtle on 2014-04-24 07:05:00 UTC Reply

Alrighty, questions...

1) The Scottish play. Never knew what happened to Fleance, though. That kinda bothers me for some reason.

2) I never actually read the sonnets. Should I do that?

3) ~~Macbeth~~ Bulldog: where the Sub Rosa's faithful lieutenant hears a "prophecy" from a trio of half-mad agents where he will become head of the DoI one day. Assisted by Architeuthis, the senior agent concocts a plan to murder the Flower and become the Department Head...
YAY! by Tigeress on 2014-04-23 17:13:00 UTC Reply

He gave us... So many awesome works... *throws more confetti*
In order: by wobblestheclown on 2014-04-23 16:57:00 UTC Reply

0) Happy birthday, Will!

1) Richard II. More specifically, the adaptation the BBC did as part of the Hollow Crown series.
2) Don't have one because I hold poetry in similar esteem to the strange black stuff that occasionally floated to the surface of the canal I used to walk past on my way to the school that totally destroyed my love of poetry forever.
3) In which the Continuity Council takes a trip outside of Doctor Who:-

"So," asked Morgan as they trudged through the Italian countryside, "who're we looking out for here? Main characters-wise, I mean."

"According to the Words," said the Notary, "that would be either Beatrice or Benedick, depending on who you ask."

Morgan stopped dead. "Benedick?"

"Yes, Tigereye Castellan, that is the main character's name, gold star-"

"Bene... dick? Not Benedict, but... Benedick?"

The Fisherman looked at her with a slightly confused expression, like a dog with a stick wider than a doorway. "Uh, yes, Morgan, we've established that."

"Who names their kid Benedick? What sadist does that to a defenceless child? What kind of monster takes a word that literally means penis and smashes it together with Benedict, which is the worst name, and goes 'Yeah, I'mma call my kid dat, ain't no way this'll ever impact his education or future prospects'?"

The Notary had been edging slowly away from Morgan for the entire outburst. "Tigereye Castellan, are you quite well?"

"I mean, what's wrong with, with, Iunno, Steve or Brian or whatever? Omega's buck teeth, Benedick? That boy couldn't have had a worse time at school if he'd been called Englebert Dum-Dum McStinkyface. What were they thinking? Were they high? What in hell's name - hey, where did everybody go?"

It was only then she noticed the rest of the Council cowering behind some trees.

the Hollow Crown by Pippa's Ghost on 2014-04-24 20:33:00 UTC Reply

Ah yes, the BBC's "An Age of Kings". One of my favourite Shakespeare adaptations. TV doesn't need fancy gimmicks like special effects or even colour to tell a good story.

I was lucky enough to see some of the episodes when they were screened at London's National Film Theatre, 20 years ago. (I could only get tickets for the Henrys, the Richards all sold out straight away.)

BTW since you're a Doctor Who fan, check out the Ian McKellan 1978 version of the Scottish Play, produced by Verity Lambert. Again, done in a minimalist style.

Thanks for the recommendations, but... by wobblestheclown on 2014-04-25 10:32:00 UTC Reply

We appear to be talking about two different versions. I meant the more recent edition that covered the Henriad, in which Ben Whishaw played Richard II with the kind of skill that beggars belief. I also really liked it as a TV adaptation because it didn't look like someone had stuck some cameras in front of a stage play, for want of a better term; rather, it used the things you can do with the medium to augment the play.

Take Sir Patrick Stewart's rendition of John of Gaunt's monologue. Usually, it's done in this big, projected, very Shakespearean-actor voice (man, I am on fire with finding names for things today; clearly I've been learning from Buffy Summers), whereas in the 2012 Hollow Crown it was very sombre, very quiet. You can do that with television because you can do close-up shots and boost the sound and make sure people hear the words, thus allowing the actors and director more room to breathe. That's how you do an adaptation. To me at least. YMMV. =]

Also, there's a new series of it coming out later this year concerning the Bard's first historical tetralogy, and Benadryl Cymbalclash (LOLOLOLOL I MADE FUN OF SOMEONE'S NAME AM I INTERNET FUNNY YET) is to play Richard. I'm really looking forward to it.

I thought Bandersnatch Crumplesnork wanted to play Hamlet. (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2014-04-29 04:04:00 UTC Reply

Happy Birthday, Billy! by Iximaz on 2014-04-23 11:47:00 UTC Reply

1) As You Like It
2) Never really one for sonnets... ^_^'
3) The Taming of the Shrew: We'd need to kill the Replacement Sue!Kate and find the real one, who would be screaming her head off at the treatment she would have had to endure.

Can you tell I'm not a huge fan of that one?