Subject: Oh my God, Burning Ponies is the best thing ever.
Author:
Posted on: 2014-03-11 07:19:00 UTC
I can't breath. This is great stuff here, oh Celestia, help me!
That's it. Burning Ponies is getting an MST. I have never done an MST before, but I am more then familiar with how it's done. It's even better because, at times, the fic riffs itself! (Rainbowdash presents: beating the snot out of orcs!)
Read this. Read this now, for all that is wonderfully awful.
WARNING: NSFW AND POTENTIALLY NSFB.
This is a fic called 120 Days of Blueblood.
The immediate charges it's guilty of include raping and subsequently killing off all of the main characters in MLP.
It includes severe OOC for both Celestia and Luna.
It also includes rape and torture of children, as well as making them eat feces.
A friend of mine did a riff of it and he very much lost his mind doing so.
Here's the link if you dare to read. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/36981/120-days-of-blueblood
So, thanks to my morbid curiosity I decided to look for more MLP but this time using "pinkiepie" (sic). What I came across was a poorly written crossover between MLP and LotR by the name of Burning Ponies. Skimming over the chapters & knowing exactly how improbable the crossover is, the story seemed to be almost as bad as legolas by laura. It was at this point that I decided to look at all the other works by the author and their other fics are even more improbable crossovers. There is one with The Legend of Zelda, one with Portal, and one with Doctor Who. I'm linking their fanfiction page here so everyone can see for themselves.
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4150204/Archsteel
...Thought you ought to know.
In case this was not obvious, this author is such a troll. I just took one look at the descriptions of most of the stories, and read the first page of the MLP one, and I am beyond positive that this is a troll. The plots are so ridiculous, so insane, so obviously made to piss people off, that I just start laughing. Honestly, it's kinda adorable, and I will definitely continue to read once I have more time.
The orcs terrorising Ponyville are hilarious, by the way. All they want are h-o-r-s-e-s! Not even kidding, for some reason a goblin desides to spell out horse to his commander. And then they eat the ponies. There was SO MUCH BLOOD. I mean, papercuts are bad enough, but there was way more blood here!
…TROOOOOOOOLL!!!!!
I can't breath. This is great stuff here, oh Celestia, help me!
That's it. Burning Ponies is getting an MST. I have never done an MST before, but I am more then familiar with how it's done. It's even better because, at times, the fic riffs itself! (Rainbowdash presents: beating the snot out of orcs!)
Read this. Read this now, for all that is wonderfully awful.
Here's a plot summary.
Goblins want to eat horses.
Random elf became a ranger class pony.
Ponyville is under attack (by the evil forces of Ganon.)
Yep definitely trollfic. Still doesn't excuse improbability.
What is up with this popular fad that seems to love making blood-and-guts squickfests out of things like MLP:FIM? I get that some people don't like a lot cutesy girly things, but giving it gratuitous violence and bloodshed is an appallingly cheap and unpleasant method of writing.
Namely, "Nothing is sacred" and "The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it", respectively. The so-called Rules of the Internet should have been forgotten about long ago, not least because most of them are dumb jokes, nonsense, or sexist, because they were created by 4Chan, but the Internet likes them anyway for whatever reason. It's gotten supremely attached to a handful, those two included, to the point that most people have forgotten where they came from.
Rule 42 is stupid. Everyone and anyone believes in something, even if it's just their postulate. There is, however, a point in rule 43. There is something very satisfying in having reality slap someone blind in the face.
Doesn't excuse badfic, of course.
Let's assume, for a moment, that the author has never heard of these laws. What then is the motivation? I have found a few, some serious, some not as much. What the heck, I'm supposed to be sleeping, but I'll take some time to explore why people write gory or disturbing MLP fanfiction.
First, and probably formost, is contrast. The land of Equestria is a bright, happy land, where multi-colored ponies can sing and dance with relative peace. Sure, you may run into some jerks, some hazards, and even a few monsters, but on the whole, it's a happy place. So, how better to add some contrast to your story then to add some morally disturbing actions to this land of joy? While this sounds to some like a horrfic idea, and is the reason we can't have nice things, to others, this is fascinating. The ones that do it right explore how thse acts of horror effect such a joyus place, and look to use that contrast to drive home greater points. Take, for example, Fallout Equestria, one of my favorite fanfictions of all time. It is a bloody, gory fic, and does not hold back. It is in total and complete contrast to the Equestria we know and love, and kkat uses that to explore friendship and morality in a much more powerful way then arguably even the show could. Done wrong, and you have stories that use it as a cheap way to illicit a reaction.
Another reason is for shock value. This is closely related to the wrong way of using contrast to tell a dark MLP fic, but different in a distinct way. While the guy who's doing it wrong for contrast is at least still trying to add credibility to the story as a piece of literature, the shock value motivation is always just for quick, cheap reactions. Done right, it can make you feel like it was terrifying or disgusting, yet odly fitting or creepy in a good way. Done wrong, and you get Cupcakes. Not eerie, not disterbing in a horrifyingly fitting way, just torture porn for no reason other then to make unsuspecting readers squirm.
Speaking of Cupcakes, another reason people write squik fic: Cupcakes' success. As parodied in RatherHomely's fic 'Terrible and Horrible Stories,' (I think, I may have gotten the fic name wrong) people write these fics in responce to the popularity of Cupcakes and related stories. Sweet Apple Massacre, Pattycake (Pretty sure I spelled that wrong. Do not care at all), Rainbow Factory, you know the type. These stories try to take some of that popularity away from Cupcakes or the like, by making it just that much worse. Some try by copying Cupcakes exactly, some try to make Sweet Apple Massacre look tame. It is here we find the worst of the worst, the stuff that makes you want to give up all faith in the fandom and just go home. No matter how well written, this stuff is always bad, no exceptions. It is gore and sex for the sake of attention and infamy, and quite frankly, I don't have to put up with it.
So, that's all of the reasons I could think of for why people would write this kind of MLP: FiM fic. I'm sure there are more, but I think they all boil down into one of these three categories at the core. I know I focused on gore rather then disturbing sex, but for that, I have to remember that YKINMK, and just not read. Then again, if it's in 120 Days of Blueblood, it is wrong and should not be allowed.
The title obviously comes from 120 Days Of Sodom, a novel covering such things by the Marquis de Sade. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a boatload of ripoffs from that piece of... work.
Oh, BTW, CLAIMING THIS FOR MY NEXT FIC, FOR GREAT JUSTICE.
...that you might be picking this story for reasons not entirely in the spirit of the PPC. Your entry on the Claimed Fic page ('because I'm probably the only person here with a strong enough stomach for this') set off warning bells in my head.
We're not about rectifying perceived wrongs or crusading against that which we find distasteful. Nor are we about subjecting ourselves to the worst stories out there in some sort of self-imposed test of mental fortitude. We're about taking something eye-rollingly bad and having a bit of fun with it. Stories like this don't typically lend themselves to PPC-style entertainment.
If you think you can squeeze some humor out of this thing, then by all means ignore me.
What I'll say is this: me PPCing the fic is not about me finding the subject matter ugly, nor is it about some kind of badfic tolerance dick-swinging contest. This fic deserves our treatment because this fic deserves to die, and I think I've adequately proved that I can dredge comedy out of horrible, awful fics.
I don't know if you've read my first mission. If not, please do, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. If so, please keep in mind that it was for a fic that involved, er... let's say it involved things happening to children that should not ever happen and leave it at that. I milked a lot of comedy out of it by focusing on the interaction between my agents rather than the more noisome elements of the subject matter, and for this fic I'd take much the same approach.
It also makes sense for my agents to be given this fic as a mission; Wobbles is unremittingly cheerful (arguably to the point of genuine psychosis) and the Notary might well die, which despite the PPC's chronic staffing problems is probably something the Marquis de Sod would consider a positive outcome. Also, not only am I familiar enough with Friendship is Magic to snark this piece of... work with the accuracy and flair required of a PPC fic, I've also read 120 Days of Sodom, the themes of which the badfic nabs for its own vile purposes.
In short, I do think I can squeeze humour out of this fic, because despite being a neophyte in excelsis here at PPC Towers, I've got form. Your concerns are entirely valid, though. It will likely be a lot of hard work to do a PPC-ing of this fic to the standard we're used to.
I just think it needs to be done.
That right there? That kind of sentiment is the thing that concerns me. I don't like when people equate sporking with murder or death. It's unseemly and tasteless. It conveys a sense of mean-spiritedness I don't like to associate with the PPC.
People shouldn't write a mission because "it needs to be done." We're not fanfiction vigilantes out for some sort of internet justice.
That being said, you seem like you've got credentials to back up what you say, at least in terms of canonical knowledge. Having read 120 Days of Sodom is a nice plus. Kudos to you for pushing yourself through that.
And finally yes, I have read your first mission. I'm going to reread it again before leaving you my thoughts on your Wiki talk page (unless you'd prefer those thoughts posted somewhere else).
(Bah, had to edit that. The quote I wanted: "We're not fanfiction vigilantes out for some sort of internet justice.")
Do you even realize how much that makes me want to write a PPC AU where we're somehow all the Hood/Arrow? It would even make a good AU, especially if someone ended up going 'This isn't what the PPC was supposed to stand for!' (cue drama) and then something happens and we stop just crossing titles off a list and try to do things differently...
...I won't write this, I won't.
...I wonder if anyone else here even watches Arrow to begin with...
~DF
There's a British children's television show called Rastamouse. It concerns small knitted mice who solve mysteries and listen to a lot of reggae. It's brilliant, if a bit on the odd side. The reason I bring it up is that the show's big message is "make a bad thing good": i.e. take something that's wrong or unfair or ghastly and make people's lives a bit better because of it.
That's what I mean when I say something needs to be sporked by us. I consider it to apply the strongest when dealing with fics like 120 Days of Blueblood precisely because of its subject matter: it is a bad thing we need to make good. That's what the PPC is to me, and that's why I've claimed this mission.
I realise I didn't make this clear when I first responded, for which I apologise. Hopefully this clears it up. I still think this fic deserves to be sporked (I mean, I wouldn't be doing the mission otherwise), but I agree with you on my saying it needed to die. While I still think it does, because... well, because it's a novel by de Sade with the themes transposed to something designed for small children, I accept that it is not the sort of thing that should come across in a PPC mission. You have my word that it will not.
Instead, a clown and a singularly obnoxious Time Lady will bicker with each other and try not to look at all the gore. It's probably better that way. =]
Are you sure we can't be fanfiction vigilantes? Because that just sounds awesome.
Plus, "vigilantes" means we're policing other people's stuff. That's never a really good thing.
So, basically, what this adds is that...Hood!us start off policing fanfics, or at least attempting to, only in a slightly more Batman way ("your police are incompetent, we're picking up the slack"), but eventually some sort of disaster--Dark Archer=Sue army?--strikes, and someone else speaks up, and we decide to change our tune and become Arrow!us, ie, attempt to be heroes?
...Great. I still feel like writing this. I may even do it.
~DF
I'm not familiar with any of these organizations.
Are you alluding to this series produced by DC and Warner Bros?
Basically, Oliver Queen returns after being shipwrecked on an island for five years with a (secret) mission to save Starling City. He basically becomes a vigilante, and gets named 'the Hood'. Eventually, he finds himself facing someone who I'm using the name 'Dark Archer' for (because he's called that and I'm trying to avoid too many spoilers), and...that's season one. There's a disaster at the end of it, and in season 2, he changes his tune, deciding to not kill people and to basically just try and do things to help that...don't involve killing corrupt businessmen. He also changes his name to 'the Arrow', which I'm sure will sound much catchier after I've heard it more (I've just started season 2).
So yes. That's Arrow. It's generally pretty awesome, and is perfect fuel for a vigilante!PPC AU...
~DF
Or did you plan this to be your third mission?
And my second mission is another MLP fic called Suicidal Nightmare; I don't recall the Digimon fic you're referring to, but I can't find it referenced on the Wiki. =/
It might be a good idea to do that, in case we forget again.
Quite forgotten I'd said that. Oh well, it'll keep; I've not read up on Digimon in a while and I'd need to in order to make it an acceptable fic.
It is painful, and awful, and oh Celestia why?
However, if you look a little further down the board, you will notice that there is another badfic thread in the works. Not a huge problem, but it is better if we keep the badfic all in one thread.
As a side note, would your friend happen to be twow? If so, I read his mst, and I have to admit, I kinda broke too. Tell him he fought the good fight, and I look forward to his future endeavors, even if he's not twow.
Yeah, it was twow alright.
I love his riffs, and have re-read many of them several times. He's a braver soul then I, let me tell you... My Little Unicorn is proving to be too much, even when I had time to write! All I can say is, I'm glad he's mostly recovered.
Anyway, since it seems I neglected yo introduce you to the board previously, I shall do so now. Hello! Welcome to our little board! Leave your sanity at the door and enjoy your stay.
As you are a brony, I shall give you my usual MLP gift: a crystal statue of your favorite character from the show! However, this statue is special, as it is enchanted with some of the character's personality. For example, Futtershy makes you feel nicer and more inclined to help people, Pinkie Pie makes you happier and want to make others smile, ect. Just be warned, shadow pony kings may try to take your statue because CRYSSSSSTAAALS!
PS. I read your message to me on fimfiction (I'm Printworthy, just so you know) and it got me thinking. I really need to do more with that thing. Review some fic, join some groups, something! Anyway, I can't get on fimfiction right now, so I'll just answer your question here.
The basic answer is, he's from an AU. The more complicated answer can be found just a little further down the board, actually. Just go down to where me, hS, Outhra and a few others derail some poor newbie's intro thread and talk about Printworthy and how his backstory works now. I would post a link, but I'm on a kindle touch, making that impossable. If you want an in-character responce, I'll be writing a story about that soon. And by 'soon,' I mean 'as soon as I have some bloody time to write.'
PPS. Since we're talking about Printworthy, did you read my mission? If so, what did you think?
I finally read your mission. While one can't argue with the results, I highly doubt that Upstairs will be happy that the two non-canon locations weren't destroyed.
It just happened durring the time skip, that's all. That was part of what Printworthy was reffering to with his line, "It is our duty to clean up these messes." I was going to write out the destruction of Griffala, but desided that I had spent long enough in this mission, and it was just better to skip ahead and wrap it up.
If you must know what happened, Printworthy set fire to the land of Griffala with a lighter from HQ. As it burned, the land faded into a strange shifting plane that could only be described by the words, "Here be Griffons." There was more description then that originally, but once I cut it, I only kept the basic summary in my head. So there you go.
Using links from a Kindle isn't that bad. You just need to copy the URL by holding on one spot long enough for two word-selection pentagons to come up, and then moving them to surround the text you want, in this case within the navigation bar. After that it's simple copy and paste, as long as you remember the HTML code for link-making. Then again, I've had a lot of experience with the Kindle in recent times while waiting for my laptop to be repaired.
Now, two relevant links for y2k890: World-Jumper on Printworthy, and Huinesoron on Printworthy's authorial workaround.
Oh, and while you're here, World-Jumper, my proposition from this link still stands. I'd love for my silly excursion from a while ago to be useful to you in your Daring Do mission, if you're interested, that is.
Still don't like the system of copying things though. Besides, you're probably thinking about the kindle fire. I'm dealing with the touch, which is much more annoying. Still, I like it better for reading, which ultimately is what it's built for.
Oh, wow, that proposition is intriguing. However, I just have so little time right now. Still, a Daring Do trollfic? With Kirby too? That's just too tempting. But time and responsibilities...
Oh, fine, send it over! I can't promice I'll do anything with it any time soon, but I might as well see it. Send it over to tds3ak with either gmail or yahoo.
I was just wanting to help out with your future "Printworthy goes into a Daring Do badfic" mission. I don't even know how many missions you planned to place between then and now. I understand that it'll probably take a while before anything happens. Real life responsibilities can do that.
I'll send it over to your Yahoo account this afternoon, after I've finished up with today's beta-reading duties.