Subject: True, but...
Author:
Posted on: 2013-03-05 08:31:00 UTC
...I do want it to sounds logical. I didn't know about the DIA (I mean, I vaguely knew they existed, but I didn't really know anything more than that), so I managed to ignore something that other people know about and think should be there. I'm honestly still catching up on the PPC of today; I think I've done a pretty good job so far (read a LOT of wiki articles, and a similar number of spin-offs), but there are still some details that I don't know about. So, if you tell me that it seems strange that the DIA wasn't sent in instead of Brenda, then that's something I feel I should take into account, especially as I doubt you're the only one who's going to catch that.
Also, Brenda getting bored and impatient actually seems rather stronger to me. It suits her character perfectly. It just means I need to slightly adjust what actually happens when she gets inside the badfic, but that's not too hard to do. So thanks :) This is why I like (and use) betas; they tend to catch things that, when fixed or changed, actually make the story better.
And you were completely right about the spacing, by the way. It was squished and made the story harder to follow. I've now changed it.
Thanks!
~DF