Very nice.

Subject: Very nice.
Author: the Irish Samurai
Posted on: 2013-12-16 22:39:00 UTC

Does this mean that we might be seeing more of Selene in the future? I hope so - I've just started reading her DOGA missions and really like her as a character.

You've got some very nice lines in here, I particularly liked the opening sentence: 'The vines had gone again - the clinging, probing, torturing, healing vines.', I'm not sure quite why, but the addition of 'healing' on the end there just seemed like a nice touch. And the Oriental Artificer's vote of confidence was just brilliant. The ending scene, with Selene realising that she has a way out of her nightmare, was very well done.

It's also cool that this is sort of a sequel to 'Ten Feet Tall' (well, it involves the Grafin Gelassenheit, which is close enough for me). That's still my favourite story from the Pistons set.

There was one thing I noticed, it looks like you might be missing a comma in the second-to-last line. Should there be one after 'face'? I'm assuming that the bit about 'looking past the mockers who had stolen her face' is supposed to be giving more detail about her lifting her head, in which case I believe it should have bracketing commas before and after.

Oh yeah, and most people are guessing Dafydd for the Mystery Man, so I'm gonna place a bet on the longshot and say that it's actually Agent Huinesoron (I believe they share a basic physical description, with the possible exception of minor details like number of functioning limbs).

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And a short plug. by Huinesoron on 2013-12-13 14:16:00 UTC Reply

The End of the Beginning: A Rising Gale

This story is a sequel to this, and draws on aspects of this, while having been referenced in this (not to mention here on the Board, which post may form part of a future story if I can come up with some more to do with it).

As to the character who never gets names - I'll let you make your own guesses.

hS

Very nice. by the Irish Samurai on 2013-12-16 22:39:00 UTC Reply

Does this mean that we might be seeing more of Selene in the future? I hope so - I've just started reading her DOGA missions and really like her as a character.

You've got some very nice lines in here, I particularly liked the opening sentence: 'The vines had gone again - the clinging, probing, torturing, healing vines.', I'm not sure quite why, but the addition of 'healing' on the end there just seemed like a nice touch. And the Oriental Artificer's vote of confidence was just brilliant. The ending scene, with Selene realising that she has a way out of her nightmare, was very well done.

It's also cool that this is sort of a sequel to 'Ten Feet Tall' (well, it involves the Grafin Gelassenheit, which is close enough for me). That's still my favourite story from the Pistons set.

There was one thing I noticed, it looks like you might be missing a comma in the second-to-last line. Should there be one after 'face'? I'm assuming that the bit about 'looking past the mockers who had stolen her face' is supposed to be giving more detail about her lifting her head, in which case I believe it should have bracketing commas before and after.

Oh yeah, and most people are guessing Dafydd for the Mystery Man, so I'm gonna place a bet on the longshot and say that it's actually Agent Huinesoron (I believe they share a basic physical description, with the possible exception of minor details like number of functioning limbs).
Oh! (Spoilers!) by Autumn_68 on 2013-12-14 02:29:00 UTC Reply

She's back! Yes!

Oh, I always felt so sad when Selene went insane. Ah well, is she going to be paired with agent!hS now?

Hmm, I'm guessing the unnamed character is Dafydd. Being a "tall, black-haired man with the unusual ears" and "grey eyes" and all...there's a high possibility it's him. But of course, the descriptions could trick us into thinking that it's Dafydd, while all along it's another agent, one that's quite unexpected, leading to a plot twist...

Or maybe I'm thinking too complicated. Argh.

~Autumn

It could have been him, but from a different universe by Outhra on 2013-12-14 04:17:00 UTC Reply

(Because it couldn't fit in the title: SPOILERS WILL FOLLOW. Also, the post title is a little confusing out of context, isn't it? I think so.)

For example, the TCDA has a native Dafydd named Constable Davillo. Considering that much of this story takes place in the TCDA's native universe, though, it's not likely that it was Davillo, since the alternate version of Selene used "your world" when talking to the unnamed dark-haired man, indicating that they weren't native to the same reality. This could also be interpreted as not being native to the same planet, but I don't want to add extra variables in here.

Still, though, this story made me ask "Why are you getting involved here, TCDA? You don't have anything to gain by breaking out a mental patient from another reality. What's your deal?", so it's a win on that front. Looking forward to the follow-up to see if that question gets answered.

Oh, and in response to your question, Autumn_68, I severely doubt it. Selene is, judging by her internal narration, still three breeds of crazy. Even though the TCDA gave her the way out of her cell, they didn't give her back her mind, and she needs that to restrain herself from burning down everything in sight. Heck, the last time she got out, she went on a murderous rampage, so I'm not inclined to think she's going to be very stable any time soon, unless that switch that D'Article threw messed with her psyche in addition to giving her that key. It'd be an impossibly efficient switch if that was the case.

Mild clarification. by Huinesoron on 2013-12-14 08:38:00 UTC Reply

(Since I'm not sure if you know it, and if you do, I'm not sure if people would get it from what you said)

The 'door' Selene's been obsessing over isn't a physical door. It's this one, from Broken Storm:

"Oh, it's simple," a fourth voice said, as another Selene look-alike stepped into her view. "You've gone mad. We're alternate versions of you."

[...]

The newcomer shrugged. "I go by Fung Ying, mostly," she said, "but that's not important. What's important is that now you're here, you need to open the door."

Selene blinked. "But the door doesn't open," she pointed out, and gestured at the first of the other vampires. "She said so."

Fung Ying shrugged. "If you can't, you stay here forever," she said bluntly. "I'd recommend trying."

The 'door' is a manifestation of Selene's insanity; the 'key' is a manifestation of (the beginning of) a way out. Like Serenity said, stepping through the door isn't the entire process - but it's the beginning of the reconstruction of Selene Windflower.

hS

Oh. by Outhra on 2013-12-14 19:51:00 UTC Reply

Yeah, I hadn't gotten that. The description seemed to indicate that there was a physical key in Selene's hand, which I assumed would correspond to a physical door. Of course, it could have been a mental key that she only thinks is a physical key because of her insanity, or a physical key that she's using as a catalyst to open a mental door. Metaphors can be complicated sometimes.

But wait, if the door she mentioned was only a mental door, how did she break out of the in-patient ward? Even if the security is as bad in FicPsych as the Bonsai Mallorn implied, you'd think that they'd put special watch on a room housing a known murderer and crazy person who can summon lightning at will, or at least put plenty of surge-proof locks on its entrance. Did she gain the ability to phase through solid objects from one of her hypertime vampire counterparts? I know, some of the information I'm asking about could be spoilers, but with the explanation that the door and/or key wasn't real, the situation just doesn't make as much sense as it did. At least if she was given a way out of her cell by an alternate-reality Makes-Things, she would have been able to do what the FicPsych handlers wouldn't expect and just walk out the back way, which could be accomplished with a fair amount of luck and a knowledge of where said back way is.

Er... by Huinesoron on 2013-12-15 08:24:00 UTC Reply

... the story is in chronological order.

First phase: It wasn't her, but it didn't mock - it just watched.

It stopped watching. It was by her, lifting her, carrying her...

The door stayed. The room changed. The white walls were brass now, brass and rust and storm-torn skies...

That is Serenity entering Selene's cell and taking her away. The (mental) door stays, but the walls around it change to reflect the real environment - the deck of the airship Grafin Gelassenheit.

Second Phase: Serenity, Creator d'Article, and ~~Dafydd~~ the mystery man set up the Ultra-Chiastic Mental Assistance Apparatus, while Selene lies around being crazy. In her madness, she sees herself as surrounded by alternate hers, lying in a Steampunk-y room, with a locked door in one wall.

Third Phase: The UCMAA has been turned on, and Selene - still locked in her mental room - has been given a key to start the process of escaping from her madness.

hS

I guess it was hard for me to separate... by Outhra on 2013-12-16 03:01:00 UTC Reply

...the crazy-narration at the from the beginning from the actual events that were represented, and that changed the proverbial color of the rest of the story for me. I thought, based on the context, that the feeling of a presence, the motion, and the changing background were just symptoms of Selene's insanity-warped perception of the world, to serve as a basis for the parts in the next scene when alt-Selene and unidentified-observer-who-might-or-might-not-be-Dafydd discuss how insane she is. It makes sense the intended way now that you've explained it, though, with the details like Selene seeing brass and the ship described as having four occupants(I'd previously thought that person #4 was another unidentified observer, possibly a second member of the TCDA's Department of Applied Technical Creativity who was helping out with the key-making device, or another alternate-reality Selene, but the latter would have been even more unclear, come to think of it) supporting that. The bit about her hallucinating that the TCDA members surrounding her are alternate versions of herself, though, that's new to me. The closest I can find in the text to fit that is "the mockers who had stolen her face", which I thought was a reference to Broken Storm. Maybe I just didn't get it.

Er^2. by Huinesoron on 2013-12-16 08:10:00 UTC Reply

Countess Serenity of Transprussia knelt on the deck of the Grafin Gelassenheit, her burning eyes oddly gentle as she studied the woman huddled in front of her.

I thought it was fairly explicit that Selene was on the airship? Serenity takes her hand and wishes her good luck later.

And she didn't hallucinate anything about the Oriental Artificer and ~~Dafydd~~ - when Serenity showed up to get her out, she saw her as 'Beyond the faces... stood the past. It wasn't her, but it didn't mock - it just watched.' Because Serenity looks like Selene, you see. The only other faces she's registered are the crazy hallucinations.

hS

How are you turning these out so fast? :P (nm) by Ekyl on 2013-12-13 21:04:00 UTC Reply
Yay! (Spoilers, although it's probably obvious anyway.) by doctorlit on 2013-12-13 18:05:00 UTC Reply

I'm so glad she's coming back! Not sure how, although I have to admit I don't really grock steampunk technology, even when I was writing TCDA stuff.

But I'm very happy, nonetheless! Are we going to see new Selene missions, now?

(Also, I'm calling the unnamed character as Dafydd.)