Subject: A Horrible Mess of a Fic
Author:
Posted on: 2013-11-26 04:48:00 UTC
I was scrolling through The Pit one fine day when I came upon this.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8187626/1/power-rangers-delta-force
It's a jumbled mess. There are grammar mistakes out the wazoo. Could someone take a look-see? The guy has reviews that all complaining about the atrocious grammar.
Punishment
ZsadistCortel
Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1054977
Summary:
Germany remembered. He remembered even when he pretended to forget. Now, he was going to punish Prussia for the pain he had put him through. Prussia wouldn't be able to hurt him again.
It has good grammar, but that's it, I guess. Everything else is a cluster of OOC and wrongness on everybody's part.
Also, this part pissed me off to no end: World Wars I and II were just ploys to reduce Prussia to nothingness. What. Just flat what.
Ugh. WHY? What the hell is wrong with my fandom?
Also, if I ever get into writing PPC Missions, can I call dibs on this one?
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8626815/1/A-fiery-rose
Naruto badfic. Contains Mary Sue, vast leaps in logic, alterations to history and characterization, and Guy and Lee being turned into a gestalt entity.
first one: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8888516/1/Son-of-Chaos-Book-One
Percy Jackson story with a replacement!Sue who is given the power to kill Gods. And that just the beginning. Also this is part of a series, meant to be following Rick Riordans original series, thankfully only made it to book 3 atm.
second one: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9749841/1/The-Silver-Fox-and-the-Wood-Elf
Had my eye on this one for a small while. Throws the Harry Potter canon for a loop with a Kitsune and a Wood Elf at Hogwarts. Fairly certain the two titular characters are Sues.
And I quote:
"Hey guys.
This is my first fic and it's being co-written by myself and a friend.[snip]
This is NOT a self-insert. The OC's are WAY cooler than us."
Also, it's comments/script format from what appears to be a barely cleaned-up RP. And one of the sues (G. I'm not typing that now that the pit's c&p protected) is an improbable age, I'm assuming because she's the Kitsune.
I say charge it!
As for number one... remember to charge for random capitalization, whoever claims it. And for making Percy into a jerk. :D
I'm posting this at the request of one of our lurkers, who contacted me by e-mail and wishes to remain otherwise anonymous. I figured I'd put it here and see if anyone knows this fandom rather than just sticking it on the wiki to rot if no one's even potentially interested.
The fic is "Night Rain" by laughtillyourstomachhurts. Our lurker friend reports the following issues:
- Chapter 1 OC description:
Sound like an extra powerful Mary Sue to me, with a weird and generally useless power (changing eye colours) other than just frightening the regular humans.
- Chapter 2:
The OC (Amaya Kuran) reads the actual Vampire Knight manga, and then attends school there. This appears to be a merging of the OC's world and Vampire Knight's. I don't quite know how to explain this.
- Chapter 3:
Bashing of Vampire Knight's heroine, Yuuki Kuran. It seems that the OC does this on purpose since she had already read the actual Vampire Knight comic and knows how Yuuki feels towards Kuran Kaname and spites her on purpose.
- Chapter 4 and the rest:
Generally speaking, getting cozy with other vampires. Which shouldn't even be happening, rendering vampire characters OOC.
Even if Yuuki Kuran is annoying (I don't think so, there's so many other character that are more annoying than her), I don't think that she deserves this sort of treatment.
---
Any takers, have at it!
~Neshomeh
It's been a while since I've watched it, but I remember liking it, and I have been hoping to send my agents into some anime continua.
Let's have a look at what this Sue's like then...
Wow, OK, that is one hell of a Sue. The super-speshul colour changing eyes are possibly one of the least Sueish aspects of this character. The highlights include:
- controls all 4 elements (now, maybe it's just that I haven't watched the anime in a while, but I don't remember there being elemental magic in this continuum)
- make you bend to her will (well she sounds lovely)
- telekinesis
- can make someone live forever (maybe it's just me, but that 'make' someone live forever almost sounds like a threat)
- can fly (of course she can)
- force field
- deflect anything (anything, you say? That sounds like a challenge and/or an excuse for some scientific testing)
- hyper and weird (oh yay! another 'quirky' character)
- manipulates people for fun (I repeat - she sounds lovely)
- sadistic when you least expect her to be (... what!? Sadistic when you least expect it - so, at a small child's birthday party or something? I really hope we're not going to be expected to empathise with this character...)
As for the actual fic itself, I'd have to refresh myself on the canon before I could comment on that aspect of it, but from the purely technical side it doesn't look good. There's a lot of short, choppy sentences that really break the flow of reading, and some very odd descriptions. Apparently, people's blood tastes like 'apples and cinnamon'... y'know what? I'm pretty sure that it doesn't.
I won't claim this myself just yet, because I've got a list of fics for my next few missions, and I'm not finding much time for writing at the minute. If someone else gets to it first, they're welcome to it. But if it's still unclaimed when I next go looking for badfic, then I just might have to do something with this.
And despite the fact that my family is made up of speed-readers and potential authors, that is just *sad.* This guy should be at least 14! Why do they write this?! What is Power Rangers anyways?! AUUGH!
Sorry. I think I need to move on to another thread before my head explodes.
I am requesting permission to take on the fic I submitted, power rangers delta force.
Hello, I'm WolfsbaneX. I am a Power Rangers fanfiction writer that specializes in Original Ranger Teams (taking the concept of the show and creating a entire story from scratch: I make my own rangers, concepts, Zords, villains, supporting cast). I'm also a fan of Kamen Rider, Super Sentai, Garo, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Digimon (up to season 4), and a bunch of other stuff I can't think of off the top of my head. I hope I can contribute to the community and eventually write my own PPC story.
Wow, you like many of the same shows I do! (and it seems that the sentiment is pretty widespread here) Welcome to the PPC, and I'll be looking forward to your eventual mission once you get Permission. (Lest you be confused, I am NOT a Permission Giver.)
As for your newbie gift...
*rummages through Pokemon-Trainer-issue bag of holding*
Here, have a set of Axem Ranger figurines! In case you're not familiar, the Axem Rangers are a set of villains from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, one of the best RPGs for the SNES!
BTW, are Pokemon and Bakugan: Battle Brawlers among your fandoms?
PS: Before I forget to ask:
1) How did you run across the PPC?
2) Have you read the PPC Constitution?
3) Have you read the Original Series?
Pokemon is one of the fandoms I'm a part of (though I'm quick to point out that I just play the games; I haven't watched the anime since the beginning of Black and White). Bakugan, eh, I liked the first one and the second one. After that, it seemed to become a jumbled mess.
1. I have a friend who's a fan of the PPC.
2. Yes, I have read the constitution.
3. I haven't quite read all of it yet. I'm sure it'll be the first thing I read through as soon as I finish my college exams next week.
Oh, and thank you for the figurines!
And if it isn't a bother, may I point you to something else as well? I am currently working on a Pokemon/Bakugan crossover that happens to require nothing further than what you've already watched! Any constructive criticism that you could give would be highly appreciated. Here is the link:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9697398/1/The-Vexos-Chronicles-Part-I-Lost-Luster
Here, I've got some pumpkin cheesecake for you, though, as well as two lightbulbs, half a box of matches, and a purple shoelace!
I've still gotta catch up on the last two seasons of ATLA myself. The rest... not as much. I sort of remember it, but I think my childhood missed the boat on some of those fandoms. :D
As a fellow newbie and liker of the stuff you like, I shall give you this millie-feuille, fresh-baked and trimmed, with a tinge of Bleeprin mixed into the custard. Bon appetit.
Thank you.
Welcome! Have a slice of apple pie. Enjoy the PPC!
~Autumn
Thank you.
I am 99Hedgehog but call me 99. Here, have a Necron Gauss Blaster!
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Gauss_Blaster#.UpfNK8QW3kc
The Emperor Protects!
but I'm more of a sword guy. Just my preference.
...an Eldar Biting Blade instead? 40k has a wealth of melee weapons.
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Biting_Blade#.UpnIqcQW3kc
The Emperor Protects.
Have a pair of Chrono Sabers from Power Rangers Time Force! It was one of the better seasons, if my admittedly sparse knowledge of Power Rangers is anything to go by, and the swords themselves are capable of shooting beams of energy when held in "the position of clock arms at 3:00", according to the wiki.
I'm not entirely sure what that means(maybe you hold one arm out to the side and swing the other vertically to use the beam?), but even if you don't know, either, they're still nice-looking swords that cause sparks and explosions when you hit things with them, as is standard for all Power Rangers weaponry. Long live the Power!
No idea what I'm doing. I'll post a proper request at a later date.
without having Permission - you're just supposed to note that your claim in pending permission on the List.
That way, the fic you want won't get snapped up by someone else.
Thank you for clearing that up, Irish Samurai.
I'll note that the claim in pending permission on the List, though I don't think that a Power Rangers fic would get snapped up considering one of the most infamous Power Rangers fanfics of all time is on the Unclaimed List.
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8957379/1/For-Pain-Makes-Us-Stronger
It isn't so badly written, but...why on Arda would an elf be named Vanya? Is she one? Dammit, she's one of the Teleri or Noldor at most, but Vanya!? And the Sue is just so...Sue-ish. "How could she be so strong?" Sweetie, Elrond, Galadriel, and lots of other elves from the First Age have faced worst circumstances.
~Autumn
I am claiming the following;
http://www.quotev.com/story/3258825/Mixed-Guardian-Jack-Frost-Love/
Be sure to charge for copying Jack's heroic sacrifice.
Let me say this right now: I am not a 'clopper,' or for those uninitiated to the brony lingo, one who fantasizes about having...intimate... relationships with the ponies in MLP. I do not find them attractive in that way, and the use of sex in any literature is a massive personal sin. Unless it is used really well, I do not like it. Now, with that out of the way:
I have glanced into the void of clopfics. I took a look on a dare, as well as reading some MST's on Ponyriffs, and I have found some of the worst things ever composed. I would not care if some of these were edited to become completely original works, they need to be burned. Here are just some of the more...interesting ones.
I'm not gonna bother with ratings, as they are all very NSFW, and possibly NSFB. Gore, sex, you name it, we got it here. Here, let me say it again so there is absolutely no confusion:
THESE ARE ALL NOT SAFE FOR WORK. THESE ARE ALL NOT SAFE FOR SANE MINDS. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO SEE THINGS YOU PROBABLY SHOULD NOT.
Apple Slices A clopfic between Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom. Notable not only for how it throws the Apples OOC, but Applebloom's cutiemark. No, it does not have to do with sex. It has to do with...De-sexing, if you catch my drift. By the end of this, you will know far more about the process of castration then you ever, EVER, wanted to know.
120 Days of Blueblood. Have you ever heard of 120 days of Sodom? No? Neither did I when I read the MST of this. Well, part of the MST of this, as the fic is so NSFW that it made me too sick before I could finish. I went a piece at a time, but had to stop eventually. Apparently, 120 days of Sodom is an infamous french book that was never officially published, as the text follows people who engage in insane orgies, rape, and pedophilia. At the end of the intercourse, those who were raped are brutally murdered. Take that, make it with ponies, and you have quite possibly the worst thing ever made.
You know what? I was going to link more, but I cant bring myself to dispose more onto this board. I feel dirty enough as is. If you want more examples, just look at anything riffed by Fallen Prime, HERE or just about any fic riffed by anybody on the Ponyriffs site HERE.
Now, if you excuse me, I have to go and soak in some holy water and read some good books to detoxify myself from these...things.
... but this screams stu. Adding a member to the canon company, getting a special save-the-world mission against the most powerful villian ever... yeah.
And it's in present tense! Have fun, Wolfsbane.
Her "farther" has to be a good source for spelling jokes. Get farther away from me, fic!