The first wouldst be that thou art not agents.
Please note the section "How do I, er, join?"
Boarders are they that dwell within this place.
This piece of knowledge was bestowed on you
when last you came to introduce your selves.
I do recall, you see, when last you came
unto us in perplexing manner thus.
The others, helpful were, in that past post.
Perhaps you did not see the things they said?

The second, form of mini-Balrog takes;
for Eru didst thou mean in yonder post.
Fear not. The beast has gone upon its way,
the University awaits it now.

Thirdly, I do not know what point you seek
to prove with language of Shakespearian bent.
You lack the rhyme and reason for the verse,
and yet speak words archaic to my ears;
believing, I should think, that thou dost know
the manner of the syntax of the time.

To make intentions clear may I suggest,
perhaps plain English wouldst fare better here;
for others in this place speak not as I.

-Phobos, the resident Shakespearian bard