I really liked how you woke up those fanbrats with the air horn. Oh, I liked the whole starting-with-Eleven-and-Clara thing too. I'm anticipating to see how Ashley would react to the Doctors from Classic Who!

~Autumn

I really can't wait to see how this turns out! Thanks, I love my portrayal!

I rather like the way you started off with Eleven and Clara, as well as the colour Blink. Stupid fanbrat, doesn't know the Classic Series...

I did spot a couple of things that were off, though. As Des said, there were some weird mechanics issues, and I personally thought you did a bit too much showing and not enough telling, especially during Ashley's sections.

Are you going to reference the Blackout? That would be fun, especially 'cause Jack knows about the PPC.

-Aila

First of all, the chapter was a fun read. It certainly has a Whoish feel to it, as well as that OFU air.
However, it is not without problems. First of all, the mechanics are wonky. I've spotted numerous SPaG errors, there's something wrong with the indentation and there are sentences that simply cut off in the middle.
Second, it's a bit... formulaic for an OFU opening. That's not bad per se but it detracts from the fun in my opinion. At least the end is a good twist.

PS: As I've told you about two months ago, if you need Agents, Des and (probably) the Librarian are available for cameos/Sue execution/capture.