And also have some Bleepka. You'll need it soon.

From one post-lurker to another.

Hope you're doing well! :)

*Optional!Hugs, if you like those*

*suddenly goes into Deranged Animation mode* Have some Lamp Oil, Rope, and Bombs!

Oh god what have I done.

It turns into your favorite candy when you eat it!

Welcome, and have a signed copy of Fifty Shades of Urple. (No-one's ever been able to figure out who it. The paper and ink are both urple, making it impossible to even open the book without being driven insane, but maybe you'll be the first.)

((JSYK though, sp*stic is an intensely derogatory term for the mentally challenged, of a similar - but less pleasant - nature to r*tarded. Please don't do that.))

Anyway, grumpiness out of the way, welcome to the PPC! Here's your starter Pokémon:

Iiiiiiit's Rampardos!

(one of my favourite mons u so luckeh)

And here's your starting item:

Telepathy For Dummies from The Binding Of Isaac: Rebirth!

This item's... odd. It allows you to pick whether or not the move you're about to use is its normal typing or Psychic-type, and grants Psychic-type moves a 1.33x damage multiplier. While it can work, Rampardos isn't necessarily the 'mon you want to use it on, though Psychic-type!Head Smash can really put the hurt on slow but dangerous Fighting-types like Conkeldurr.

Since other people said their stuff, I'll just give you this cup of Lapsang Souchong tea. Yes, it does smell like a campfire, and no, it's not gonna try to eat you, why are you looking at me like that.

Well, good to see a fresh face! :3

Here, have a head that's always screaming *snap*

To thee, I give an urple ocarina! Please play responsibly.

Because I like learning the history behind people's Boarder names (mine comes from a trilogy called The Door Within,), may I ask how you picked yours?

Welcome to the board and here is a grack light pen.

As your newbie gift have this replica of the One Ring that makes you speak like Darth Vader while you wear it!

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts. Another useful resource you might use is the Wiki; if you have any questions, just look here before asking.

Hope you like it here! :D

May I ask what fandoms you're a part of? Also, have one of my own shed feathers! Careful, it's pretty sharp...

Have a shovel enchanted with the power of the Lord of Light! BEHOLD!

*shovel does nothing*

... I said BEHOLD!

*shovel still does nothing*

... well, you can still hit things with it.