New mission!

New mission! by Voyd and Silenthunder on 2015-08-05 03:03:00 UTC

This was mostly enjoyable. by Hieronymus Graubart on 2015-08-06 18:27:00 UTC Reply

I liked the agents' interactions, and the different ways the non-humans reacted to being in a human disguise in a strange, magical world.

But as so often, I have some nitpicks:

He tuned his back to her and started limping away.
You probably meant "turned".

I do not want want to share a House with a Sue.
Repetition.

Once the agents finally reached the the seventh floor of Hogwarts, Chakkik looked askance at Natalie.
Repetition.

Za’kiir and Stephanie had changed out of the DORKS back into their natural forms, and had slept quite comfortably, as had Natalie herself.
Huh? The DORKS isn’t a disguise, it’s a device that creates a disguise. I don’t believe that you can change out of it. Yes, the agents wouldn't be able to change their disguise or to drop the disguise and change back to their natural form on mission if they didn't use a DORKS. But calling this "to change out of the DORKS" doesn’t sound right.

"That is not Voldemort. …"
Apparently Natalie's rant was not enough to prepare me for "Voldemort" going down so easily. For the rest of the page I wondered why Voldemort didn't do anything. Not sure whether this is me being thick. It may have worked for others.

Second, I absolutely refuse to recite that line from Clash of the Titans in regards to you, Podd.
Where did this come from? I understand that it is a setup for releasing the kraken further down the page. But why would Chakkik say this at this time? The only reason I can imagine is stealthily hinting at Stephanie that she should prepare for having her disguise dropped, in a way the Sue and her grandfather would presumably not understand. This, or some other reason I don't see, might have been made more clear.

Besides that, it's a really good co-write.

HG
Confused by the Riddle by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-08-05 09:14:00 UTC Reply

I thought that, to restore canon, Sues have to be killed by something (which seems to be) canonical. That's one reason why disguises totally transform the body instead of just covering it in an illusion.

But you had one character killed by an undisguised Khajiit, and the other by a Mantis Ant's acidic venom. Aren't creatures like that turning up in the Potterverse and killing people going to damage canon at least as much as the original badfic?

But apart from that, I enjoyed the mission. It was a lot of fun and there was a good dynamic with the agents.

Canonical and non-canonical assassinations. by Hieronymus Graubart on 2015-08-06 19:05:00 UTC Reply

Jay and Acacia usually killed Sues using canonical weapons and disguised as something that would canonically want to kill all ~~ten~~ nine walkers of The Fellowship of the Ring or whatever the Sue was in her badfic. I still like this classical method best. It doesn't require much clean-up. Just get rid of the corpse. The canon characters' memories of the Sue will fade and they will snap back into character, and non-canonical objects and locations will just vanish. No neuralyzing or burning down is required.

But this is not always practical. Who would canonically want to murder fifth year students, or Slytherins, or Americans, or whatever category you could fit the Sue in? Even Generic Death Eaters wouldn't just randomly kill people.

Acromantula might work in the Forbidden Forest. But since they apparently never leave their hide-out, an Acromantula killing the Sue at Malfoy Manor would still be stressing the canon.

Insane serial killers is probably the best option to go with – but how would an insane serial killer disguise look like?

After a non-canonical assassination, thorough clean-up is necessary. Neuralyzing all witnesses is absolutely essential. (Apparently there were no witnesses in this case.) Even than the canon may still be so stressed that the word-world cannot just snap back. You may need to neuralyze everybody who met the Sue and may still remember her. You may need to remove non-canonical objects brought in or created by the Sue, and you may need to burn down non-canonical locations. (And you may still get into trouble with the Flowers That Be, if this fits the story arc your author planned for you.)

At least that's what I got from previous discussions.

HG

Ah, that makes sense by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-08-07 11:56:00 UTC Reply

You've got a good point there. There aren't many things willing and able to kill random kids. Although I would've thought there was a difference between something that was unlikely to kill someone, and something that physically couldn't because it just plain doesn't exist in that world.

On the bright side, here's a ficlet:
"Y-y-you want what?" Makes-Things backed even further away from the agent. "No. No! That's just... You're even c-crazier than the other assassins."

"Possibly," admitted Sean, not wanting to dwell on his past. "But you've gotta admit, it makes sense."

"Sense? How can that possibly m-make sense?" Eyes darting left and right as he searched the DoSAT lab for a refuge, the terrified technician desperately tried to keep the madman talking.

"Simple. A lot of missions take place in the twentieth or twenty-first centuries, where there aren't any Random Orcs to kill people, right?"

"Yes, I know that." By now, Makes-Things had squeezed into the gap between two cabinets and was pulling his labcoat over his head in imitation of Elliot Dunkel's coat of solitude.

Sean started to lean round to get a better view of the man he was trying to talk to, but then decided against it. He took a deep breath and continued as if nothing was happening. "Terrorists are obviously right out because they're in bad taste. Insane serial killers would be good, but what would they look like?"

Some mumbled words came from the hidden figure, but Sean could only make out the phrases "Have you," and "mirror lately?"

Ignoring him, Sean said, "So that only leaves one thing that could randomly kill people."

"Yes, but y-you can't expect me to program that into the disguise generators."

"Why not? They can already turn people into different species, so why not a virus? And there are lots of different types to choose from, so even if Ebola is too difficult, there's always SARS or Anthrax."

"But a single virus cell isn't enough to k-kill anyone."

"Yeah, obviously you'd have to turn us into a colony of the things. And most agents are multi-celled organisms anyway, so that should make it easier for you." By now Sean was enthusiastically gesturing with his hands as he explained his great idea. "And we'd spend the mission breeding and incubating inside the Sue's body, so she would ever spot us. It's the perf—"

Sean suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Slowly he turned and found himself looking at two ogres in FicPsyc uniforms.

"Agent Bellman?" asked the first ogre, the one with his had on Sean's shoulder.

Sean just nodded.

The other ogre called out, "It's all right. You can come out now."

Makes-Things emerged, straighten his coat. He was holding a mobile phone in one hand. "You got my text then?"

"Yeah. We'll take of this now."

"Come along Agent Bellman," said the first ogre. "Doc Freedenberg needs to remind you about the dangers of mixing too much Bleeprin with your prescription antidepressants."

Hurray! Having inspired a ficlet is a good thing. by Hieronymus Graubart on 2015-08-09 10:51:00 UTC Reply

Especially when it’s such a good ficlet.

I’m aware that you can’t edit the board, but I can’t not do this. So, in case you want to copy and publish this elsewhere:

And we'd spend the mission breeding and incubating inside the Sue's body, so she would ever spot us.
"never"?

"Agent Bellman?" asked the first ogre, the one with his had on Sean's shoulder.
"hand"?

Makes-Things emerged, straighten his coat.
Shouldn’t this be "straightening"?

"Yeah. We'll take of this now."
Missing word ("care")?

"Come along Agent Bellman," said the first ogre.
The ogre may have dropped a comma between "along" and "Agent", but it has been demonstrated that commas are not in my field of erpertise.

HG