Subject: Hooray! :D
Author:
Posted on: 2015-08-01 23:50:00 UTC
This was a very good date/mission, and it did a nice job of being both. ^^
Subject: Hooray! :D
Author:
Posted on: 2015-08-01 23:50:00 UTC
This was a very good date/mission, and it did a nice job of being both. ^^
Yes, three whole years!* This thing was started in October 2012. Well, without further ado, Riaa'lzhor and Lana in:
Appuntamento Rovinato
Many thanks to Des and Iximaz for beta-ing!
*Actually more like two years and ten months. Same difference.
And allow me to echo EPL in saying that having the agents already be in the continuum is an interesting change of pace. So far, I have not spotted any errors except this one:
["]No World-One nation exists here. What about that is hard to understand?” She asked as the fight began.
That "S" in "she asked" needs to be lowercase. Even though the quote ends in a question mark, the next word is part of an attribution tag--it is not its own sentence--so the word must be lowercase.
Breaking the fast of missions reports with yours.
I like that it started with the agents already in the world. Though I would've liked to get to know Riaa and Lana a bit, skipping the intro stuff makes the mission flow a little better IMO.
BTW, you get ALL the Awesome Points for having a Girl Genius agent. (Especially a Smoke Knight) :D That comic is amazing and anyone who hasn't already should go read it. It's about mad scientists! What's not to love?
One quick thing:
“And every one of them has Ty Lee and Mai variants.”
Delete the extra space between "has" and "Ty Lee".
This was a very good date/mission, and it did a nice job of being both. ^^