Subject: Nicely done.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-07-30 16:49:00 UTC
The diary format worked really well - it's quite rare to get into a character's head like that.
The inside of her head isn't exactly a fun place to be (I guess we blame her former trainer for that), but it was interesting.
I like the way she talked to the diary as if it were a person. And it was nice to see the bright spots, like when a pony taught her how to trot. All smiley indeed.
- Irish
TW: Abuse refs, depression refs, cutemon being put through the wringer refs.
Agent Gabrielle, Flareon of this parish, has been tasked with writing a diary as part of her therapy. This is it. Well, the first three weeks or so, anyway. Enjoy! =]
Poor baby. I like Flareon no matter what anybody says. Good job, Scapegrace!
(Also, "Doctor Peep"? Did FicPsych hire Chica or something? Cause that's multiple levels of weird.)
Doctor Peep's an OC who was the super-importantest villain in the FNAF canon... according to the (fictional) badfic from whence she came. It's alluded to that she's responsible for her homefic's version of the Bite Of '87, for instance, which - aside from the murders - is the defining event of FNAF canon, for those unfamiliar with the series. She's a bird animatronic, yeah, but she's not Chica or a replacement of her. Fully original character on the Donut-Steele Index.
She got better, though. =]
Also, the name comes from a child psychiatrist who played a major role in the darkly hilarious cop show No Offence, which I encourage you to check out because when was the last time you saw female-led cop dramas that didn't suck?
Or did I get your address wrong?
(I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have much to say about Gabrielle’s diary even if I had the time to write it down.)
HG
And, um, yes I did, but I was rather snowed under with my course and there, er, wasn't a huge amount to talk about. The British English you needed was minimal because of how you structured the story, and your SPaG was its usual excellent self. The person I really think you should contact, though, is Iximaz - she's much more knowledgeable about the minutiae of HP canon than I am and she'll be able to spot whether or not a spell is canon to a much more accurate degree than I ever could. =]
Since I had the book in front of me, I’m quite confident that I didn’t mess with the canon. I’m more afraid of unintentionally using Americanisms, not giving my protagonists enough personality or throwing them OOC. Yep, I should have mentioned what I’m looking for. But apparently I’m fine.
Thanks again
HG
The diary format worked really well - it's quite rare to get into a character's head like that.
The inside of her head isn't exactly a fun place to be (I guess we blame her former trainer for that), but it was interesting.
I like the way she talked to the diary as if it were a person. And it was nice to see the bright spots, like when a pony taught her how to trot. All smiley indeed.
- Irish
Though it meant I had to remember to do it, which was... suboptimal. To say the least. =]
That was an evil evil thing to write, well done. It worked really well.
Every girl needs a little OHGODWHY in her life, and Gabrielle is no exception. =]
I wanna give her a hug, a box of poffins, and a blanket...
Because I am now imagining Gabrielle lounging on her bunk in a snuggie re-reading Half-Blood Prince and I think y'all should be too. =]
is going to get an eternal 50% discount for potions and spells if my agents get accepted.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
On the plus side, she genuinely is getting better now that she's broken the back of her neuroses - accepting that not being suited for competitive battling is not the same as "weak", and that even if you feel weak, it's okay. Her Trainer really did a number on her, huh...
This has all the feels. The poor little thing. Why did it have to hit me in the feels?
That *16 KB string of expletives*-thing Gabrielle calls her Trainer does not deserve the swift death we are so keen on dishing out.
...Also the first entry was "written" on my birthday ...My birthday is surprisingly popular in the multiverse.
Pumping a shotgun just ejects a spent - or in this case unspent - cartridge. Besides, her Trainer isn't necessarily a bad person just because he's into the sort of competitive battling for which Flareon are monumentally ill-suited.
I mean, he is a bad person, a totally reprehensible pile of festering allegedly-human garbage, but that's beside the point. =]
*Picks up Agent Gabrielle.*
*HUGS Agent Gabrielle, then puts her down and puts respectable distance between us if it seems too much to her.*
In other words, I really liked this interlude. ^^
Affection and personal validation? What's not to love! New experiences all round. =]