Eh, the memory's a bit fuzzy, but I think it goes sommat like: The Great Creator was walking through all the lands and helping each and every creature become what it wanted to be most - the mountain lion became brave, strong, and the color of dry earth to better hunt his prey, and the little hummingbird became swift and beautiful, such that every creature who looked on him fell in love with his beauty and would not harm him (and he could easily escape from those who tried!)
The Great Creator eventually came to rabbit, and rabbit wanted to be swift--
--And owl, who was listening in, jumped in and said he, too, wanted to be swift and strong, even more so than rabbit. The Great Creator told the horned owl to hush and wait his turn, just as all the other animals had done (including the poor rabbit!) Having said this, the Great Creator turned back to rabbit and made her legs long and powerful, so that she could cover much ground in little time.
The rabbit went on to say she wanted a sleek body and soft, warm fur--
--And owl jumped in and declared that he wanted brilliantly-colored feathers, a lithe, beautiful body, and long, sweeping wings. Again the Great Creator told the owl to be quiet and wait until He had finished seeing to rabbit's requests, and this time also told owl his impatience would get him nowhere. Then the Great Creator turned back to rabbit and gave her a sleek body and made her fur as soft as down.
Rabbit next asked for long, gorgeous ears, elegantly formed and strong enough to hear danger from miles away.
Owl watched on in silence for a moment as the Great Creator gently pulled rabbit's ears until they were very long, then shaped them until they were beautiful to rabbit's eyes. But just as rabbit opened her mouth to ask for one final thing, the owl spoke up again, vainly proclaiming that he would look much prettier than rabbit or any other creature, that he would ask for a beak made of gold and eyes like the stars and a singing voice sweeter than the most beautiful music.
The Great Creator had had enough of owl's vanity and selfishness, and turned on the hapless creature in anger. Instead of a long, sleek body, the Great Creator made the owl squat and fat, with a round, blocky head and no neck to speak of. Rather than feathers of every color and eyes like starlight, owl's feathers were smeared with mud and his eyes, already stretching wide in fear, were turned yellow and given the ability to unsettle all who looked on them for long - so eventually, no one would want to. And instead of a beautiful singing voice, the Great Creator decreed that owl would never sing, and would have to hunt in silence if he was to survive at all.
The Great Creator did give owl a voice, but in order to keep him from ever interrupting anyone again, the Great Creator made it so that owl could only let out an eerie hoot that chilled even the poor owl to hear; over time, this hoot would become mournful and solemn as the owl eventually came to accept he had brought this upon himself. Last of all, the Great Creator gave owl long ears of his own, so he could listen twice as well as he would ever speak.
This finished, the Great Creator finally released the owl, whom he now named the horned owl as a final form of punishment. Then He turned and went off in search of poor rabbit, who had fled when the Great Creator first turned on the horned owl. To His dismay, rabbit was nowhere to be found. She never did come out of hiding - the Great Creator's fury gave her one last, unfortunate characteristic: She would ever after be fearful of all other creatures, and would ever after be the first to flee from any sign of danger.
...Or something like that. I think one or two details might have gotten a little muddied up; it's been about ten years since I read the story, but it feels pretty accurate...
SO MANY MUCH PICTURES AH MAH GUH.
Totally with you on the balance problems. Ask anyone at my old high school why I always got picked last for basketball (and NO, it is not because I ran through a basketball game while chasing a classmate I had a crush on when I was in the fourth grade. That is total poppycock.)
Ah, okay, that makes sense! XD (Any idea where I might find that fanfic, by the way? It sounds fun!)