Subject: That's entirely fanon, though?
Author:
Posted on: 2015-07-05 08:33:00 UTC
Nuzlocke Pokémon don't actually "die". You just release them into the wild, where it is assumed they die, or shove them in a box forever, where they wonder what they did wrong for ever and ever and oh no i made myself sad.
It's BLEU! Da-ba-dee da-ba-die. =]
Anyway, I'm planning a mission to insane trollfic Brewdening Love, and that got me to thinking about when I was an active part of the weird cult following it amassed, much akin to that of Emperor Norton. The key pairing in the Brewdening Love Expanded Universe is Brugo, or Brian/Hugo - Brian being an agent of about eight different agencies, depending on the price of tinned cheese in Wichita and the strength of the most recent tropical storm to hit Palau, and Hugo being an alcoholic deadbeat with hidden depths. I wrote recursive fanfiction for this pairing. It was entirely in haiku.
Since you need an account on what used to be TwilightSucks.com to access it, I would now like to present my magnum opus.
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Haikudening Love
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I apologise for the length (despite it being eternally unfinished deadfic), but I'd be interested in your views on my work. Yes, it's pretentious. Yes, it's long. Yes, there are herons everywhere for no adequately-explained reason. I just value your input, and I love how welcome you've made me feel since my return, so I wanted to show you a thing wot I did. =]
Oh, and before anyone asks - spelling sinners SINNARS (block caps optional) was something of a thing in the BLEU fandom. It was a strange place. =]
The haiku are very impressive. I'm not really familiar with the matter at hand, so they don't make a lot of sense, but I like them on a lyrical level.
I've heard a lot about Brewdening Love, and I'm looking forward to seeing your mission to it! Will we get to see Wobbles and the Notary in action again?
I'm saving them for something really horrible. And famous. And horrible. =]
This is probably going to be another mission for Doktor Trollenfisch und Gabrielle (and yes, that is how you're supposed to say it) because Brewdening Love is absolutely cast-iron balls-to-the-wall bananas. The BLEU takes a lot of these and runs with it, a noted example being "MY HOUSE WAS FIRE!!" from Chapter 27.
Also it's hella long. =]
I just was wondering, since I know Wobbles is technically from a Twilight fic. But seeing Gabrielle and the Doktor do it will also be hilarious.
It's just completely insane, and almost certainly a trollfic, though I don't want to have to second the pair to the Troll Division permanently. For one thing, that means Mortic wins, and we couldn't possibly have that. =]
While I do have some weird stuff lined up for Wobbles's direct backstory, the Notary's getting the lion's share of it first because, well, because she has the farthest to go. =]
"In the long run, I always win.
"Mostly due to everyone else dying of old age."
>M
"Ve are Pokémon, Freiherr Ventvay. Zere are dragons uff time und space among our number who rend zer very fabric uff zer universe in twain, und vhat ist zer most that happens even to zer meanest uff our number? Zey faint. Zey do not die. Zey can be healed free uff charge in ein dedicated facility. Und ve dance zer dance again. Do not threaten us vizz death, mein Freund. You vill find zat ve are very hard to kill."
((Translation: Pokémon have a similar kind of immortality to elves, only they're generally hardier. Which is fun.))
...unless your home canon happens to be a Nuzlocke. =]
Nuzlocke Pokémon don't actually "die". You just release them into the wild, where it is assumed they die, or shove them in a box forever, where they wonder what they did wrong for ever and ever and oh no i made myself sad.
Because of the various towers, the Pokémon graveyards. There's the Marowack that was killed by Team Rocket, and then various trainers who say intro battle lines such as "My Pokémon died in battle" so your argument is invalid. =]
Just that they aren't killed by the methods of "death" common to Nuzlocke runs, which are releasing and storage. I'm going by a much more literalist take on it, wherein the Trainer is considerably more of an arsehole than is usual in a Pokémon game. Nuzlockes are very much a case of "You Have Failed Me" in my book, with the Trainer punishing weakness by leaving unconscious mons on the ground as food for passing local wildlife.
But yeah, Pokémon can be killed by fighting each other, and by fighting humans. However, it's tricky. Protect is a good example of this - allowing a mon to weather a move, no matter what it is, takes an amazing amount of strength. Plus there's all the ridiculous dex entries about their fortitude, strength, and occasionally murderous tendencies (looking at you, Hypno, Dragalge, and Drifloon). =]
"I don't have to do anything to get people to die; they just do it all by themselves.
"Also, I know a couple of people who would be fascinated by the ecology of your world. If you don't die, how come you haven't covered the place miles deep in squirming bodies yet? How do wild Pokemon recover from attacks? I think you may not have been told the whole story, Herr Doktor.
"Also, don't take this for acceptance of your interloper status. Never do that."
>M
((Mort is grumpier than usual; I think he really resents losing 'his' department. Well, serves him right! hS))
"Oh, ja, ja, hark at you vizz your interloper. You are havink ein very basic understandink uff ein vorld vhich ist not your own, und you think zat gives you zer right to be askink qwestions zat are as insulting as zey are stupid, qwestions vhich, by zer vay, can be entirely answered vizz zer vords 'carnivorous Pokémon' - trust not zer animé, it ist for zer leetle human children whose sensitive minds are not ready for zer phrase 'nature red in tooth und claw' - und you consider zat askink zese qwestions gives you zer further right to qwestion my intelligence? No, not qwestion. Insult. Ja, you insult my intelligence almost as much as your own.
"Und frankly? Neither mein self NOR mein partner needs zer acceptance, grudging or uzzervise, of ein spoilt leetle untermensch upset zat zer uzzer boys und girls get to play in zeir sandbox. 'Interloper status'. Liebe Arceus. In zer vords of Buffy zer Vampire Slayer, "Oh my God, are you TWELVE?!"."
((I must stress that none of the Doktor's anger is directed at you personally, hS. He just resents the implication that they're not good enough, because a) he knows all about living under a caste system what with being from Pokemon Showdown, and b) that insecurity is the root of his partner and best friend's crippling, near-suicidal depression, which was briefly covered at the end of their last mission and about which I intend to write an interlude sooner or later. Again: none of this is at you. Just Sore-Dick Wentway and his frankly pathetic little tantrum.))
Mort has been far too grouchy and aggressive in this whole conversation. Given that his last full-length appearance was passively accepting Agent hS's overwhelming superiority complex, it's perfectly clear he's gone OOC. So - poof! This never happened. His interactions with Trollenfisch are limited to 'wait, what do you mean we have new agents?!' and 'uh, no, I don't want a hug'. ^~
((Okeydey. Though I note that of your two characters who interact with mine, both of them hate mine... ^~))
hS
((The Notary hates everyone. =] ))
((So that's three for three. ^_^ I was thinking of Ye Scape-Grace.))
((Though honestly, I think the Notary hates Morgan a lot less than she hates certain other entireties of the Continuity Council...))
hS
((She's just extremely loyal to Iximaz, and more than a little bit paranoid - admirable traits both in a civil servant/spymaster. She's also a bit wary of Baron hS trying to take Critta-Kalthin back through baronial law her mistress doesn't understand or force of arms, but that's probably covered under paranoia. =] ))
((And yeah, Tree doesn't have the same unrelenting loathing for Morgan as she does for almost everyone else in the PPC save one particular agent she both has and hasn't met. She still hates her and tries to push her away, of course, it's her ground state, but it doesn't have the same venom backing it up.))
"In the long run, I always win.
"Mostly due to everyone else dying of old age."
>M