Oregon Trail on cocaine and my worst game by
GlarnBoudin
on 2015-06-26 01:25:00 UTC
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If you liked Oregon Trail, there's this game on Steam that's basically Oregon Trail as a side scrolling game with a plot written by a hyper imaginative 8-year-old. (Which actually works surprisingly well)
While I don't really have one in particular, my two worst games have got to be Guise of the Wolf and Zoo Race. The first has shitty graphics, horrible scenery coding, a crappy attempt at a jumpscare, sound effects that actually loop over each other, and a stupidly difficult first freaking level that includes several instant-death traps right behind a surprisingly difficult maneuvering puzzle that's made even harder by clumsy controls and hitboxes for obstacles that don't even work properly. But that's not the worst thing about this 'game,' oh no. The worst thing is that the developers of the game actually *threatened to sue a critic who gave it a bad review, essentially trying to quell dissenters, dictator-style.* Given that the critic in question, TotalBiscuit, not only has access to that lawyers of Polaris, a company owned by mother...ing Disney, but has a degree in law. That's basically like trying to fight a battleship with nothing but a slingshot and a claim that you're invincible.
The second is another Bible game centered around Noah's Ark, but you actually don't even get to see the ark. No, no, no: you play as one of four people transformed into badly textured animals by God himself to reenact animal races that Noah had in Biblical times. Note: the game never actually tells you this. I had to figure that out myself from the terribly animated and voice-acted cutscene. I found a review for it online by Jontron, which goes over this piece of shit's problems far better than I can: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2av978FgLI
