Subject: Thanks!
Author:
Posted on: 2015-06-14 14:11:00 UTC
Hmm... Now you're giving me ideas for PPC Bingo cards. Unless that's already a thing?
And, well, girl gave a Slasher Smile right before chopping up the Sue and throwing her into Tartarus. She's definitely starting to slip.
Another Percy Jackson mission at that! Let's just say Rina and Zeb were "Sue-tably Unimpressed".
“Great,” Zeb said, rolling his eyes and the Sue and Sierra began squealing over various things.
This sounds weird. Why are different actions performed by different people parts of the same sentence?
He helped Rina though into the next scene, where the Sue was visiting the Oracle to get the prophecy from canon.
I assume you meant "He helped Rina through" [the portal].
HG
Fixed the first one; that was a mistake (I meant to put 'as' instead of 'and'.
The second, yeah, whoops. ^^; Thankee!
It's always satisfying to read a good mission. I'm not into Percy Jackson but I had this surge of "ah yes" when everything was returned to canon.
I enjoyed this nevertheless! I like your writing style.
It's always gratifying to see another Sue get taken down, and this one was... well, it felt like the kind of Sue TOS always ended up murderating. Taking command of canon, rendering the original plot unworkable, no regard for the actual canon work - it's PPC Bingo in full force. I didn't spot any real SPaG flubs, though I'm sure HG'll dig up something, and overall it was a short, sweet little fic that didn't outstay its welcome.
One thing, though. Rina seemed... more terse than usual in this one. Is there a psychotic break on the horizon?