I couldn't help but snort at the horrible medicine in that Phantom of the Opera fic.

Getting shot in the chest is survivable even without medical care, but only if you're very lucky. Let's say your Sue was shot with a low-velocity bullet (considering the era, this could happen) that hit at an angle, bounced off her ribs, and got stuck somewhere not too vital, say maybe between the muscle and the bone. It could happen. But such a comparatively minor injury would have our Sue fainting mostly from the surprise of being shot (that's the only explanation for her instant loss of consciousness; anything but a shot to the heart or a major artery would have left her conscious for thirty seconds or more). The second the Phantom started stupidly probing around in the wound to try to find the bullet, she would wake from her faint and start screaming bloody murder. Without proper antiseptic technique, the injury would get infected. Back then, even comparatively minor surgery like this had a low success rate. Our Sue would have been likely to die of infection even if she had gotten a survivably minor chest wound.

Her second set of symptoms is an easy diagnosis, but I seriously doubt the writer knew what they were describing. Feeling cold, faint, and weak, with a relatively sudden onset, is what happens when you have low blood sugar. She should also have been sweating and sick to her stomach, but one assumes that those aren't glamorous enough symptoms. In any case, the treatment that the Phantom administers is utterly stupid. There's no need to give any kind of vaguely described injection. Someone with low blood sugar can be treated in the short term by giving them something sugary to drink; if you go to the ER with low blood sugar, they give you orange juice. You could give them a glucose IV, I suppose, but that's a bigger volume than you could get into a single syringe. In the long term of course they figure out why your blood sugar was so low to begin with.

Both incidents show a total lack of respect for medicine and a total lack of research... But it's a suefic. I should've expected that.

I quite liked all three of these stories. First off, Gall and Derick. Both the interlude and the following mission have rapidly made them one of my favorite agent pairs. They have a very good banter already down. I also liked the information gap: with Gall as the headstrong newbie and Derick as her exasperated teacher, it allows for a convenient way to explain different canonical aspects without seeming too forced. The summation of Phantom's plot was a good example.

I really dug the end of the mission, where the canon gets into the heads of the agents. That was a nice touch and made the climax suitably climactic. I also liked that killing the Sue pretty much undid the damage. The only complaints I had were in regard to a couple of lines, like "Gall summed it up in her usual succinct manner." That one in particular felt a little too on the nose. Otherwise, it was very good.

I also enjoyed the "Catastrophe Theory" story, although I believe that I said as much when I betaed it. It was interesting seeing some of the steps that led the PPC to such a dark path. I enjoy that kind of piecemeal world-building, particularly for post-apocalyptic-esque settings (which I would argue that version of the PPC kinda is).

Good stuff all around. I look forward to future stories.

PC

This rocked, especially the mission, though I think everyone else has hit all of the major points as to why. :P
Hope you're doing well!

I never read or listened to Phantom of the Opera, or if I did unconsciously, it wouldn’t have been an English version, so I certainly couldn’t catch anything, but the charging sequence still rang the right bells or pushed the right buttons or whatever. It’s a work of art, it is.

HG

Rubbing her eyes, Agent Penny (DMS, Guild Assassin, OFUDisc graduate-of-sorts) shoved open the door to her response centre. It hadn't been as hard to find as usual, she reflected. Maybe I'm getting used to this place again at l-

A large, black, spike-covered creature was crouched in the middle of the floor, seemingly playing with some small object. Penny stopped dead in the doorway, and the beast tilted its head quizzically, blinking its slit-pupilled eyes.

"Why... is there a dragon in my RC?"

<<Ah, Penny...>>

A swirl of pinkish light appeared, accompanying the voice that felt more like an ancestral memory. Penny grimaced.

"Vemi, you remember that I'm over you now, right? I've got a... well, anyway, you don't have to keep following me around."

<<Firstly, I have no idea what you're on about.>> Fëamintë's light shimmered in what might almost have been a silent laugh. <<And secondly, I wasn't following you. I was halfway across Eä checking up on a pet project of mine.>>

"What, and then suddenly you were in my response centre?" Penny paused, then glowered at the dragon. "Is that yours, then?"

The dragon made a soft rumbling noise - the sort that might imply its patience was wearing thin. Fëamintë wavered slightly in the air.

<<Because I'd play with one of Melkor's servants, wouldn't I? Don't answer that.>> The Maia hesitated a moment. <<No, I'm here because you->>

"Well someone must have put it here," Penny grumbled. "Dragons don't just turn up, you know."

<<I'm sure, but if you keep annoying it, you'll->>

"I suppose I should call the mini adoption centre? Or maybe an OFU; where do you think it's from?"

The dragon now looked extremely affronted. It rose up onto its front legs, peering down at Penny as if at a particularly irritating bug. Penny ignored it.

"I don't suppose it matters really, they can sort it out. I'll talk to the Administrator, he can-"

<<PENNY!>>

Penny blinked at her former partner. "You don't have to shout. What?"

<<Look at the door.>>

Penny leant back and frowned at the numberplate. "1100. What about it?"

Incorporeal Maiar can't sigh, so what Penny heard from Fëamintë couldn't have been one. <<Look again.>>

"11...10?"

<<Yes.>>

"Ah." Penny looked back at the severely ticked off dragon. "I should probably start running at this point, yes?"

<<Probably.>>

---

Because if I can make that mistake on first reading, I'm sure Penny can too. ^_^

hS

There was only one thing I felt was missing from proceedings. See, quite a few of the videos linked had ads on them? So I thought it might have been an amusing throwaway gag to have the Sue and the Phantom try to sell each other, say, cheap laptops or car insurance for thirty seconds before one of the musical numbers. =]

All of this is really good, but the bit at the end of "Never Let Go" is absolutely brilliant. I'm a huge sucker for that sort of identity issues. I've got plans for something similar with my agents, and I hope that when I get there I do half as good a job as you did.

Releasing missions together like an old married- wait.

*runs off to read, will give reviews later*