Subject: Beautiful poem.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-05-30 04:58:00 UTC
Indeed, the act of writing is a liberating thing indeed.
I'll leave it to others to comment on the poetry; my only issue is with that last line. I do not think that you mentioned your gender in your newbie thread, so I am operating under the assumption that you are male. If so, then that list line should be thus: Quia scribo, liber sum.
I wrote this poem after reading Iximaz's motto on the Cyclopaedia. Concrit is, of course, heartily enjoyed.
Because I write, I am free.
Free to be what I call me.
I am free to write what I love best,
Free to put my words up to the test.
I am free to be a villain,
A sailor,
A heartthrob,
A coward, sniveling.
I am free to write that which I must,
Free to show that in God I trust.
(I can write the saddest plea. For, you see, I am free.)
Because I write, I am free,
And what the world can’t take from me
Are all the stories in my head,
Locked away for pencil’s lead.
I am free to tell a joke,
And make all of my readers choke.
My fingers all fly nimbly over
A villain’s sneer, a hero’s glower.
I make the characters dance and dance,
For I am free to write romance.
I can make my pen a lance.
(For the heart, you see. I am free.)
Because I write, I am free.
Free from the worries that follow me.
They all fall into the moat
Of the castle that I just wrote.
I make friends out of ink and pages,
And set them off across the ages.
I can write about anything.
Sea ships, heroes, fires, and hangings.
I can write the dark and grim,
Fire ink arrows into the violent din.
(Or I may write of the raging sea. For, you see, I am free.)
Because I write, I am free.
And the world cannot take that from me.
Quia scribo, libera sum.
But why do you have some sentences in parentheses?
And thank you very much!
Anyway, parentheses- I originally intended for there to be ten lines between each aside, but it looks like I miscounted the middle one, so it goes ten lines, eleven lines, ten lines, three; which isn't so bad.
I also like repetition in poems- each parenthetical remark ends with the same word, has internal rhyme, and says "for, you see," which I like the sound of. In addition, I really enjoyed using them as a sort of direct remark to the reader.
And the summing up of feelings should really be attributed to Iximaz- if I hadn't read her motto, I wouldn't have written the poem, and the motto really is brilliant. "Because I write, I am free." Such good words.
Indeed, the act of writing is a liberating thing indeed.
I'll leave it to others to comment on the poetry; my only issue is with that last line. I do not think that you mentioned your gender in your newbie thread, so I am operating under the assumption that you are male. If so, then that list line should be thus: Quia scribo, liber sum.
I am female.
because up till now I hadn't, as I am overly cautious about internet interactions *cue shifty eyes*.
So, yes, the Latin is fine. But thank you very much for checking, because that is exactly the sort of thing I would get wrong. I have no idea how Latin works, and I could have very easily made a hilarious mess-up. Thanks again!
I don't usually write poetry, so that really means a lot.
If you don't mind too much, I'd like to leave the last line as it is; it's the exact wording of Iximaz's motto.