Wow! Thank you guys for your hospitality! I'm probably just going to be finding a few badfics occasionally (I have one in mind already) rather than posting a lot of stories. Either way, I just made Carnage's bio to be 'ahead of the game,' if you will.

You like creepy monsters, huh? Here's a model of the Ender Dragon (Minecraft)!

Also, it's cool that you have an agent in mind, but I would wait until we know who you are (in more detail) before posting any bios of him. We need to be sure you're worthy of Permission, y'know :)

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a miniature wilver raptor- have fun!

Though you may want to slow down on the profiling.
Practice for a few weeks and talk to people - both things seem to help. ^^
Hope you do well here!

Have this replica of the One Ring, that works like a Poké Ball.

Welcome :D Here, have this SACRED COOKIE OF INFINITE KNOWLEDGE (: :)!!!

Have this cup of confused Lapsang Souchong tea - it is not quite certain whether it smells like a campfire or not, so please treat it with respect, OK?

Here, have a Newbie Gift certificate. It can be redeemed for any common newbie gift you want, at any time.

Also, boatloads of Bleeprin. You will need it if you're going to be searching for or accidentally finding lots of badfic.

WELCOME TO THE INSANITY.
Here's a toothpick.

Welcome to the board and here is an Uburple Light Pen.

Always nice to see people finding the PPC because they're already writers and fanfic-readers. {= )

In addition to the note about getting Permission before you write PPC stories, I'd also like to caution you that, while finding and reporting badfic is an essential PPC past-time, there's not much sense in reporting, as you say, A LOT of badfic. Not all of it makes for good missions, and if it's in a fandom that only a couple of people are interested in, chances are pretty slim that it's going to be taken anyway. Not all badfic interests all PPCers equally.

So, kindly don't flood the Board or the wiki with a gazillion fics that only two or three people might care about. Also, when you DO report badfics to the Board, make sure to use whatever badfic thread is currently on the first page of posts to avoid knocking other topics off. Thanks! {= D

See also: FAQ: For Newbies, FAQ: The Board, and the Guide to the PPC.

Oh, and your gift. Have a bumper sticker! It says "Love me, love my beta."

~Neshomeh

I'm so happy that my writing was what led me to this place! Bless! :D

Have one of my own shed feathers, a Lyra plushie (now 100% free of suggestive holes!), a live Microraptor, and an amber desktop centerpiece with a prehistoric mosquito inside!

Have a generic newbie gift! Just give it a description, and it can be whatever you want. Also, please have my screwy capslock key.

It's great that you have agents in mind, but you gotta stick around a while before you can ask Permission. (And please, keep your language work-safe.)

That being said, welcome aBoard! Take this squealing toad! If the urple bow around its neck becomes too much, feel free to remove it. Don't forget to read the Original Series and the Constitution, and I hope you like it here!

Have a shovel infused with Remilia Scarlet's power over fate!

And wait a minute, I'm one of the first PPC people you read? I'm... incredibly flattered, I think of my writing as average.

Now then, it should be made clear: You need Permission to write with us. You can hang out with us, join in RPs, but you can't write missions. And you're not gonna get Permission right away; you have to prove you can write.

But first, community! You have to hang around the madhouse for a while.