Re: It's decent.

Does this count as goodfic? by Steely on 2015-05-22 00:28:00 UTC Reply

I was wondering if maybe one or two of you could look at this fanfic chapter I've written. It's rated M for cursing and violence, but nothing else. It's for the Hetalia fandom.

I'd really appreciate knowing what you guys think!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11240341/1/Open-Skies

It's decent. by OrangeYoshi99 on 2015-05-22 03:01:00 UTC Reply

If a bit grimdark. I'm going to prematurely assume that this is the SPC foundation he's locked up in?

Re: It's decent. by Steely on 2015-05-22 04:03:00 UTC Reply

Pretty much, actually. I don't know if I'll actually name it, though (given most Hetalia fanfic consumers wouldn't know what I was referencing).

I think the hamfisted "Tenor" reference gave it away?

My goal for this story is to make an adrenaline rushed insane adventure rescue for America and Vietnam (who isn't shown in this chapter). On Russia's side, its going to psychological horror, and maybe a bit of really dark comedy.

Do you think there's a way I could improve the 'grimdark' aspect, or do you think it's a bit too tightly woven in?

Advice by OrangeYoshi99 on 2015-05-23 02:31:00 UTC Reply

1) I would name it, at least in some throwaway dialog.

2) What?

3) Sounds ok, I guess. Considering the most I know about Hetalia is Italy, Germany, England, 'Murica, Japan, Canada, and what have you, I know nothing at all about Vietnam. I'm not the best for horror advice though, because that's not really my thing.

4) Not really. It sort of goes along with psychological horror. Grimdark isn't neccicerrally bad, but it's a lot like slash. It's really easy to get wrong. Also, grimdark just for the sake of grimdark isn't a good thing. But you don't have that problem so we're all good.

Re: Advice by Steely on 2015-05-23 19:20:00 UTC Reply

Thanks!

Also, the Tenor character is a reference to a character in SCP Foundation named "Alto". Maybe in passing, I'll mention it, sure. I'll put a little disclaimer at the bottom or something ("I didn't create SCP Foundation!").

The Shark Punching Center? by Voyd on 2015-05-22 03:03:00 UTC Reply

Sorry, couldn't resist.