Wow, everyone seems pretty nice. :) So my first question is... Flowers? Like, are they actual plants?

Take this generic newbie gift! Just give it a description and it will be whatever you want! I found this place through TVTropes also!

Have some Swiss Chocolate.

As your welcome gift, you can have this replica of The One Ringthat allows you to summon Arvak!

I can assure you that getting in is the easy part. The hardest part is leaving.

Have a +3 keen Sue bane shovel! It has an improved crit-rate, and deals extra damage to Sues!

Don't be intimidated, we're very user-friendly. Here's a Yoshi doll and a copy of Russia's awesome scarf!

Let's roll you up a starter Pokemon:

Iiiiiiiit's Deino! =]

And your starting item is:

Bum Friend!

Synergies: Bum Friend increases the damage of your STAB moves proportionally to the amount of prize money you'll get. In competitive play, this is set at a 1.2x multiplier, applied after the rest of the damage formula. Enjoy! =]

Since other people asked about the important stuff, have this cup of confused Lapsang Souchong tea - it's not quite certain whether it smells like a campfire or not.

I haven't been here very long, either, but it's been nice greeting other newbies! ^^

Here's a free, non-powerful copy of an Elder Scroll! You can record whatever you want, the parchment will never run out!

Don't be intimidated; this is probably one of the nicest corners of the internet. I just joined a little over a week ago, and I already feel like I've been here forever!

As a welcoming gift, have this self-refilling quiver. I stole it from Legolas.

Don't worry, the inside jokes and all that stuff don't take much time to understand. Well, I can't exactly confirm that since I had been lurking for two years, but I'm sure the others will say the same thing.
Have this... Thing! Yeah. It's definitely a thing. Pretty cuddly, but you might want to avoid looking at it. The non-Euclidean geometries and mind-breaking horrors aren't that bad... But it ate all of my Suegar, and now it glitters. You have been warned.

And a fellow Troper to boot! Take this completely silent riding cicada! Yup, completely silent. If the urple bow around its middle becomes too much, feel free to remove it. :)

I still remember what it was like to be a newbie, and I promise, you have nothing to be intimidated by. Everyone here is very friendly, and we won't bite much. You'll pick up on the inside jokes fast just by hanging out and reading missions.

Oh, before I forget, make sure to read the Constitution as well! :)

(By the way, instead of replying to your original post, see the little button at the bottom of my post that says "Post reply"? Use that to respond to other people. Makes it easier to tell who you're talking to.)

Welcome,

Don't you worry - you will fit in just fine and soon you'll have your own share of history and jokes. Now, as your newbie gift, please accept a SACRED COOKIE OF INFINITE KNOWLEDGE (: :)!!!

Shovel...? :P Is that a reference to something? *flops to the ground with clueless-ness*

Here's your shovel.

I hope I don't get crucified for stealing someone else's line.... -_-

I'm a girl and use girly pronouns.

Welcome to the board and here is a Blunette Light Pen.
Can you tell us your pronouns?