If you give me a sample to work with I can workshop it for you, that might help more than just general advice.

"Writing Description" by OokamiKasumi on deviantART.

I like her articles a lot. However, they come with some disclaimers, which I will reproduce here for clarity:

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DISCLAIMER [1]: These instructions are intended for Beginners, and for those looking for a few short-cuts to jump-start their writing. If this advice does not agree with your style of writing, by all means, take what you can use and ignore the rest.

For the record...
-- The description word counts limits I include in here are meant to be GUIDELINES not exact amounts, 'kay?

DISCLAIMER [2]: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

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I'll also add a note that reading the whole thing is necessary to get the whole picture. She sometimes clarifies things she says later on in the article, such as the bit about using purple prose. What she actually means by that is that using lavish description SPARINGLY is good, and that sometimes otherwise dry scenes can be punched up with a well-chosen bit of description. It would be easy to miss that if you stopped at the header "Making the Reader FEEL the Passion -- Make the prose PURPLE!"

So, yeah. Check it out, but use your own discretion, too. If it helps, great! If not, that's okay, too! {= )

~Neshomeh