I'll right now restrict it just to Za'kiir's character. I may go back with a metaphoric fine tooth comb later.

1. Khajiit are never unarmed. Their claws are always available. And further in the game mechanics of Skyrim a Khajiit unarmed build is fully viable.

2. Under the conventions I remember, it is probably better to keep referring to himself as Khajiit rather than some form of me/I. Even the Khajiit companions in Skyrim refer to themselves in the third person.

Those were the biggest things I noticed. I did not notice anything especially glaring with Za'kiir.

Well, we are probably not related. I don’t even know what "Skyrim" is, but I already like Za’kiir.

(I’m doing this wrong. For proper beta reading, I should have your e-mail address and send you my comments, or I should be able to comment on the Gdoc that shouldn’t be visible to anybody who is not your beta reader. I hope you don’t mind me putting this up here.)

Sample #1 (Control prompt: "The agents first meet"):

As I already said, I like how you introduce the Khajiit who isn’t eager to become an assassin. We don’t see much of Natalie, but I think it’s enough to get a mental image.

There are two sentences you may want to reconsider:

He dimly recalled being told that was going to be assigned a “partner,” and that he was going to train to become an assassin.
There is a pronoun missing, and "that he was going [...] that he was going" looks a bit repetitive. Can you find another way to say it?

She looked back at him, studying him for a few moments before seeming to come to some internal agreement.
I’m not a native speaker, but this sounds weird to me, probably because there are too many "ing"s. Something like "She looked back at him, studying him for a few moments, then she seemed to come to some internal agreement" may work better.

Sample #2 (Random prompt is random):

Yeah, that’s the main problem I have there. You are supposed to roll dices to select a prompt from the table, and to tell the Permission Givers what you got. Since you didn’t tell, I can’t figure out what this sample should be about. It works mostly well as the finishing part of a mission (and I didn’t see any technical problems), but the end is a bit disappointing, because it’s too abrupt.

The two agents had made a quick plan of their own and suddenly rushed the possessed canon character. So, did they discuss their plan and he didn’t notice because he was too distracted by his own speech? Did they use sign language to communicate? Is this their twenty-seventh mission and they know each other so well that they don’t need words to synchronize their actions? Glossing over this may be excusable if the story’s focus has actually been elsewhere and you just need to end it now, keeping it short. I just don’t know.

HG

When asking for betas, you don't normally put the link to the doc itself in the post. Send it to them privately so the whole world doesn't see an unpolished piece, alright? ;)