Hello there!

Subject: Hello there!
Author: darklordaakmal
Posted on: 2013-02-03 06:17:00 UTC

I present to you this gift: a virtual durian. Eat it, throw it at Sues, or simply try to touch it with a 10 feet pole, it's your choice. A fine stink bomb, or the heavenly smell on Earth, no one can decide.

As an amateur Tolkien fan, I'd like to know, have you read The Silmarillion? I had given Ulmo sharks as his animal, just like Manwe had eagles, long story. Do you think it's possible?

Also, I am now a fan of Total Drama too, and had been looking for beta readers. If you'll help me here, I'll be glad.

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Newbie coughs nervously by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 00:05:00 UTC Reply

Hello there.

I've been an on-and-off PPC fan for years (I was introduced via the old GAFF boards, so long ago I can't remember what alias I was using then), but I've never got round to signing up to the Board before.

I'm an inveterate Tolkien geek, and a fairly committed Discworld fan. Hobbies include assorted textile stuff (the current obsessions are plant dyes, patchwork, and rug-weaving); cooking, especially expensive, unhealthy dishes; and cool-temperate gardening. It is just about possible to combine all three: there are a few edible dye-plants that will grow in Britain. My degree was in Classics, and sufficiently long ago that I've forgotten most of my Greek; I can still read Latin, although my composition has always been poor. If any of that might be helpful to you as fanauthors, drop me a note.

I haven't published any fanfic, really: it stays in notebooks for the entertainment of myself and a few victims/friends. If people think the world needs internal monologues for horses from Kipling poems, or truly urple pastiches, I can probably oblige.

I don't have any particular lust objects (unless you count horses I'd really love to ride, and really shiny textile traditions), but I get shirty about gender, sexuality and women's issues. Anyone who disses traditional women's work (ie food, gardening, textiles, or care) in my hearing will get The Lecture.

Hello! by the Irish Samurai on 2013-02-05 23:20:00 UTC Reply

Nice to meet you.

Wow, you can read Latin? If I'd had the opportunity to study it I would've done, seemed like it would've been interesting. Sadly I was mostly just given the option of studying various European languages, that I didn't really have any desire to do.

Here, take this replica of the Sword in the Stone*. It grants the bearer the right to rule a replica of the Kingdom of Britain**

*Stone not included
**assuming that you can find one
Re: Newbie coughs nervously by son_of_heaven176 on 2013-02-04 19:21:00 UTC Reply

Hi there, fellow not-so-newbie! I, too, have been familiar with the PPC for years before showing up on the Board!

A fellow ex-Classics student, eh! I do not have a degree in Classics (mine is in Political Science), but I have taken my share of Latin and Greek classes, so allow me to add "salve and khaire to my previous "hello."

Oh yeah, your present! Let me see...have a copy of Richard Lederer's Anguished English series! It's sure to make you laugh. (Seriously, if you have access to those books IRL, I suggest that you give them a read.)
Re: Newbie coughs nervously by Antigone68104 on 2013-02-04 15:18:00 UTC Reply

Hi, have some fudge!

Plant dyes? I just snagged an 1840s dye journal as reference material for this May's Costume Con entry, I'm not dying the dress fabric myself (nowhere near enough time for that, and home-dying in the apartment building's laundry room would be a Bad Idea), but it's a good way to document the color of wool I'm using.

Re: Newbie coughs nervously by stripey_cat on 2013-02-04 18:59:00 UTC Reply

That sounds utterly fascinating. I don't suppose there's any chance of you making the journal content available online?

Hello~! by Rina on 2013-02-04 09:10:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board! Please have some of my home-made rock-solid muffins. Never eat those. And also some cotton candy and chocolates.

Re: Hello~! by stripey_cat on 2013-02-04 14:02:00 UTC Reply

Dwarf bread?

Hm? *nibbles* by Rina on 2013-02-05 11:03:00 UTC Reply

What's it made out of?
:D (nm) by DawnFire on 2013-02-05 10:03:00 UTC Reply

Welcome! by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-04 07:10:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. May or may not have been inspired by Discworld!
Welcome a-Board! by TheMadHatteress on 2013-02-03 21:44:00 UTC Reply

*Rises from the dark pit of schoolwork*
Hi there! It's always nice to see someone new around here, even if you are only partially new. It's always nice to have another discworld fan around; I myself am in the middle of Maskarade. Have a sequined wizard's hat and enjoy your stay!
*Decends back into the pit so that she can finish her math homework*
Charadrium (Volitaretimidae) uobis do. (nm) by Tawaki on 2013-02-03 18:27:00 UTC Reply

Re: Charadrium (Volitaretimidae) uobis do. by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 22:26:00 UTC Reply

OK, I'll admit that I'm failing to parse the compound in brackets. Is it dog-Latin, or just something really obscure? Also, I'm not sure how I feel about formal second person forms - it makes me feel old! (The first time in France that you get madame instead of mademoiselle in a shop is a body-blow.)

"Volitaretimida" is Fluttershy on the Latin Wikipedia. (nm) by Tawaki on 2013-02-04 04:28:00 UTC Reply

Re: "Volitaretimida" is Fluttershy on the Latin Wikipedia. by stripey_cat on 2013-02-04 14:02:00 UTC Reply

Ah. It's not the right grammatical formation: you'd want some sort of participle rather than the infinitive for the verb. You'd also have to decide if the name means she flutters because she's shy, flutters in a shy manner, is shy about fluttering, or something else, because they'd all need slightly different syntaxes. Finally, it would probably be a phrase rather than a compound. Translating MLP into Latin could actually be a really good exercise.

Hello! by Lynne Lloyd on 2013-02-03 17:24:00 UTC Reply

Hi there! Pleased to meet you! Have some yarn dyed in Sue colors! The dye was made from Sue-plants with speshul properties.(You know, the kind that magically heal people and stuff like that.) Watch out, though. It's very glittery and painful to look at.

Re: Hello! by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 22:27:00 UTC Reply

I always wondered what the make-up berries in the original series would do to cloth.

Hm, interesting question by DawnFire on 2013-02-04 11:04:00 UTC Reply

Probably something rather painful to look at, judging by Jay and Acacia's reactions. It would be interesting, though.

You know, if you decide to write missions, you could have an agent who collects all sorts of Sue-colored dyeing materials and, uh, dyes things...that was worded a lot better in my head...

Off to lunch!

~DawnFire

Cheers! by Constellation on 2013-02-03 17:13:00 UTC Reply

Welcome a-Board! The more Tolkienists we have here, the better. And Discworld is pure awesome.
I like cooking as well. We can ignore the fact that I can't actually cook. I do it nonetheless. And Latin is great, I wanted to take a course of Latin next semester, but can't now. *sigh*

As a welcome gift - hm... a handmade rug portraying a war between Tolkien dragons and Discworld dragons. Be careful, they have already tried to burn it down to escape. :)

Re: Cheers! by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 22:29:00 UTC Reply

My money is on the Tolkien dragons. I don't think a swamp dragon explosion would be more than an annoyance to, say, Ancalagon. I'm still impressed at the quality of the tapestry: was it worked from life?

Salve! by Tomash on 2013-02-03 15:52:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the PPC! I took high school Latin, and I've forgotten most of it by now. Have some Bleepka.
Welcome by SingingTheThunder on 2013-02-03 14:07:00 UTC Reply

Have a swamp dragon, feed it coal regularly and try not to startle it. Mirrors are a bad idea.
Re: Newbie coughs nervously by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 12:47:00 UTC Reply

Thankyou everyone for the presents and the welcome: I'm feeling a good deal less self-conscious now, and you may never get me to shut up again!
Hello! by DawnFire on 2013-02-03 09:21:00 UTC Reply

You have some cool hobbies there, my new friend. If I met/saw/knew you in RL, I would definitely bug you about teaching me all you know about plant dyes and rug-weaving (I know a bit about patchwork already). Fortunately, perhaps, for your sanity, I don't even live in Britain, so that's out.

Tolkien, Discworld, and horses, huh? Yes, I think we'll get along just fine :)

Welcome! Have some Bleepolate! It's useful for dulling memories of any badfic you may have read, and the chocolate-y taste distracts you and helps you forget the details that much faster!

~DawnFire

Re: Hello! by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 12:31:00 UTC Reply

Hi DawnFire, I think you're my sort of person too.

For the weaving, a good starting point is Peter Collingwood's "The Techniques of Rug-Weaving". It focusses on weft-faced rugs, but there's enough to keep you busy for years; you will need a very sturdy loom that can stand high warp tension. The book is pretty dense (coming from someone who read an arts degree at Oxford, that's a significant warning), and available as a free pdf from www.cs.arizona.edu/patterns/weaving/books.html If you get the opportunity, his son Jason is an excellent teacher, and does sometimes travel to the US (if that's where you're based).

Dyeplants are great fun: if you have room to store a seperate set of utensils (don't use them for food ever again) and a box of mordants, I'd experiment. Even if you don't have a garden yourself, lots of weeds and common plants will give you shades of yellow, orange, brown, and drab to play with, and you can buy madder, indigo etc. from specialist suppliers. I have to add that I do also enjoy using acid dyes, and they're a lot less hassle!

Hello there! by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-03 06:17:00 UTC Reply

I present to you this gift: a virtual durian. Eat it, throw it at Sues, or simply try to touch it with a 10 feet pole, it's your choice. A fine stink bomb, or the heavenly smell on Earth, no one can decide.

As an amateur Tolkien fan, I'd like to know, have you read The Silmarillion? I had given Ulmo sharks as his animal, just like Manwe had eagles, long story. Do you think it's possible?

Also, I am now a fan of Total Drama too, and had been looking for beta readers. If you'll help me here, I'll be glad.

Re: Hello there! by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 12:42:00 UTC Reply

Hello,

I'm afraid I've never even heard of Total Drama, sorry.

Manwe's eagles are something pretty special, and exist as well as normal eagles; but we do know that Orome has hunting-dogs that are better than normal animals (Huan is one). It's not contradicted in canon that Ulmo might have some friends or allies among relatively normal sea-creatures. It's also very possible for minor spirits (maiar, the singular is maia) to take animal form. The only servants of Ulmo that I can remember are Osse and Uinen (a married couple, described as humanoid: he's associated with dangerous and stormy coastal waters, and she with gentle, productive seas; note the gender stereotyping!), but he will very likely have other followers too. (Sorry if you've read the Silm. and know all that already: I interpreted your post as meaning you hadn't, or not recently.)

Another kitty-themed Boarder! Huzzah! by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-03 05:46:00 UTC Reply

Soon we will have the numbers required to TAKE OVER THE BO--

...

Erm, ha ha, what is everyone staring at me like that for?

-coughs- Anyway, welcome! I be KittyNoodles, and for your newbie gift I have placed bleepnerds and an Odd Container in your inventory. Enjoy!

*Upon opening the Odd Container, you have the chance to receive either a shower of confetti or a huggle - your choice.

-bap- by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-03 05:48:00 UTC Reply

Bad! No world dominating! Bad!

DO YOU BAP ME, SIR? (nm) by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-03 05:48:00 UTC Reply

I do BAP, sir, but not YOU, sir. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-03 05:53:00 UTC Reply

/Capulet

Do you quarrel, sir? by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-03 05:54:00 UTC Reply

/Montague

QUARREL, SIR! ...No, sir. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-03 05:55:00 UTC Reply

/Cowardly Capulet

If you do, sir, I am... Oh, forget this. by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-03 05:56:00 UTC Reply

COME AT ME, BRO.

And then they made out. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-03 05:57:00 UTC Reply

Wait, no, that'd be weird.

I... don't have a PG-13 response to that other than NOPE. (nm) by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-03 05:58:00 UTC Reply

I can't even tell you how hilarious this conversation is :D (nm) by DawnFire on 2013-02-03 09:26:00 UTC Reply

This is pretty much... by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-03 23:01:00 UTC Reply

...How about 65% of our conversations turn out. Being siblings is a crazy thing sometimes.

You two are siblings? We have siblings on the Board? by DawnFire on 2013-02-04 10:59:00 UTC Reply

Cool! Hurray for Shakespeare-quoting sibling!Boarders!
~DF

Yep, we be siblings. by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-04 20:41:00 UTC Reply

Although we would deny it if we could get away with doing so, methinks. Sibling rivalry, y'know. :D
Oh yeah. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-04 20:39:00 UTC Reply

In fact, Kitty was the one who convinced me to join the Board.

I think for a while we were like... One of what, three sibling groups?

Well, I think there was one other group, at least... by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-04 20:42:00 UTC Reply

I forget who it was, but I think there was a pair of sisters...?

That was me and my little sister. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-05 15:04:00 UTC Reply

She uses the name Apricot. However, she's been lurking more than posting. This means she knows more about the PPC than the community knows about her. (Bit creepy, in my opinion. I keep trying to convince her to post more.)

I thought it was you and Apricot! by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-06 05:09:00 UTC Reply

...Well, I was pretty sure you were a sibling, but I fogrot who your sibling was. I WAS HALF RIGHT, SHADDUP, DON'T JUDGE ME. -flails-

Er... *forgot by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-06 05:10:00 UTC Reply

What even is fogrot, I don't even...

A rotting fog? (nm) by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-06 17:47:00 UTC Reply

Actually, it sort of sounds like... by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-07 02:21:00 UTC Reply

...a mispronunciation of foie gras, doesn't it? Or maybe I accidentally created a Sue color. 'A particularly nasty shade of fog gray. This color tends to emit a smell like rotting Twinkies.'

You're mad. All of you. by Riese on 2013-02-03 09:57:00 UTC Reply

Welcome aboard, Stripes. We're the good crazy, we swear.

No, really? by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-03 20:55:00 UTC Reply

Us? Crazy? I'm truly, deeply hurt by that, Riese. You wound me.

/sarc
Thank you, m'dear by DawnFire on 2013-02-03 10:38:00 UTC Reply

'Tis a badge we wear with pride.

(Well, metaphorically. Unless there is a badge? I kind of want one now OH idea...which will probably eventually surface on an agent...and yes, I do mean 'on'.)

We are definitely the good crazy, yes, precious. We're often even the *fun* crazy :)

(Also, come on. Shakespeare-style dueling crazy is hilarious :) I only wish my high-school English classes had involved some; it would have made things much more interesting, and possibly helped to dull the frequent butchering of Shakespeare's plays that went on)

(On the other hand, my friend and I did laugh ourselves sick when we accidentally added pirates to Hamlet's 'To be or not to be' speech*. That bit was fun. Well, actually, most of Hamlet was fun, but--that's not my point. Sorry about the rambling)

*"Aye, there's the rub" became "Aye, there be the rum". Don't ask. It was hilarious at the time, though.

Anyway, yes, welcome aboard, and enjoy the craziness :)

~DawnFire

Re: Thank you, m'dear by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 12:45:00 UTC Reply

I love you people!

My fondest memories of doing Shakespear at school related to the fact that most of us caught on to the innuendos and dialect rather faster than our teacher (she was definitely Lit not Lang). You can get a lot of crap past the radar in that situation.

Like how liquor helps one rise to the occasion... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-03 13:40:00 UTC Reply

But also, NOT rise to the occasion?

(Oh-ho-ho-ho!)

Ah, hello again, Twelfth Night. by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-03 19:33:00 UTC Reply

I preferred Hamlet, to be ~~or not to be~~ honest.

I was actually quoting Macbeth, but okay. (nm) by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-03 20:28:00 UTC Reply

Re: I was actually quoting Macbeth, but okay. by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 22:33:00 UTC Reply

Is that the porter's speech?

Ayup. (nm) by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-04 00:06:00 UTC Reply

I could have sworn it was Sir Toby Belch. (nm) by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-04 01:23:00 UTC Reply

Nah, it was the drunk porter from Macbeth's castle. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-04 08:28:00 UTC Reply

But hey: it goes to show that even Shakespeare rehashed jokes and gave shout outs, thereby solidifying that there is nothing wrong with doing so.

You know - if anybody thought there was.

Rehashing jokes and giving shout outs... by DawnFire on 2013-02-04 10:55:00 UTC Reply

...is fine. The fourth PotC movie is not.

No, I am not in any way disappointed by the HUGE number of cliches and amount of harking back to the first movie that 'On Stranger Tides' contains. Not at all. I am exceedingly pleased to be able to guess pieces of what's going to happen, and to yell at my screen every two minutes, and to be unimpressed by stale jokes, yes indeed!

*sobs*

I guess at least I can be grateful that I didn't waste my money on seeing it in theaters when it came out. But really, I had...well, higher expectations, at least, and it's...not very good. At all. I mean, it has its moments, but those moments are stuck in between cliches and mimicking bits of the earlier movies and--honestly, I got the sense that I was watching a fanfic brought to life. I'm not even sure if I want to finish it (I got about halfway through). Does it...does it get any better?

~DF

Welcome! by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-03 04:50:00 UTC Reply

Have a cough drop. :) No need to be nervous, we love newbies! Also, here's a fluffy hat in your favorite color.
Good to have you a-Board, at long last! by doctorlit on 2013-02-03 03:44:00 UTC Reply

Greetings, new friend! Have a ball of yellow yarn! It's colored with dye from onion skin!
Re: Newbie coughs nervously by Blu on 2013-02-03 03:23:00 UTC Reply

Welcome! Have a box of Bleep-Blaps. They're like tic tacs, but with bleeprin!
Time to roll out the welcome wagon! by World-Jumper on 2013-02-03 02:47:00 UTC Reply

Welcome Welcome Welcome,
A fine welcome to you!
Welcome Welcome Welcome,
I say, how do you do?
Welcome Welcome Welcome,
I say, hip hip, hooray!
Welcome Welcome Welcome,
To our dear Board,
TODAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Wait for it!
(Welcome Wagon spits out confetti and gives you a large, delicious and moist cake)
IT WORKED! YES! Usually the confetti comes out of the cake oven and you get spattered with cake batter from the confetti cannons, but it actually worked! WOO HO!

(Bonus points if you know where that sequence came from)

I'm guessing either Monty Python or Discworld :) by DawnFire on 2013-02-04 11:06:00 UTC Reply

...I'm probably completely wrong, though.
~DF

Nope. My Little Pony. by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-04 20:45:00 UTC Reply

It's how Pinkie Pie welcomes Cranky Doodle Donkey to Ponyville.

/needs a life

Ooh by DawnFire on 2013-02-04 20:51:00 UTC Reply

Makes sense--I know absolutely nothing (ok, very, very little) about MLP. I mainly guessed as I did because of those two fandoms' prevalence in the PPC in general. (Also, the sequence sounds like it could have potentially come from one of them)

...*is trying to resist the urge to try and find the sequence on Youtube*

~DF

Do eet. by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-05 03:23:00 UTC Reply

You know you want too~

Re: Time to roll out the welcome wagon! by stripey_cat on 2013-02-03 12:45:00 UTC Reply

Thankyou for the cake and the bafflement.

Welcome! by Rats on 2013-02-03 02:27:00 UTC Reply

Nice to have you around! That is a really nifty degree and Latin is very cool.
Welcome gift...? How about a Generic Dagger, good for use in any fandom?
Welcome! by Cassie on 2013-02-03 01:52:00 UTC Reply

Glad to meet you! I'm always happy to see affirmed Tolkien and PTerry *holy horns* geekfans. :D Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Do hang around on the Board some more!
'Sup! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-03 00:36:00 UTC Reply

Have a welcome apple!

(Warning: potentially poisoned. Don't eat it if it's blue.)