Welcome to the Board!

Here, take this hyperspace leather belt. Useful for mitigating potentially horribly embarrassing situations of which I have no experience stop looking at me like that.

Hope you enjoy your stay. *Fades back into the mists of obscurity/IRC/Pokemon thread.*

To our land of weirdness! Have a hobnob juicebox. There's a random side effect, excluding death because that'll just kill the mood.

... What? Why are you looking at me like that? I said it just in case.
Anyway, that's weird, I've also got a huge sentient lizard kinda-planned agent. Though he looks more like a wall lizard, and he's from an original sci-fi continuum (the much-famed "book I'm totally planning to write, one day, maybe"). Oh, by the way, here's a bottle of clear vinegar. Gift from him. Don't ask.
And from me, there's this jar of glose-flavoured syrup. Tastes oddly good, but the Sueness combined with the sugar content might make it too sweet for some people.

Anyway, I'm no expert, but I think your agent is looking pretty good! Though there's no way to really be sure about that until you really start writing about him, but take your time ^^

Heylo, greetings, welcome, etc. Nice to have another fan of SAO on Board. Have you, perchance, watched Log Horizon? If not, I highly recommend it.
As a newbie gift, have this cup of good Oolong tea. No, the leaves won't try to eat you, why are you looking at me that way?

To this little slice of uniqueness. Have a pet alligator with a Triforce bow tie. Careful he can be a bit bitey.

Hold on a second... *rifles through pockets* Aha! I found you a pair of high pink goggles!And as for your agent, I think that is a good concept you have going there. I especially like the part about the chair!

I get the distinct feeling I missed something with that first post...something important...
OH!
I'm a dude, guy, bro, fella, and man.

All these gifts will fit right in with my warring stuffed animals (they can't agree on that old drowning vs. carpentry thing). You can be sure all these donations will be used to make the Sue lives a living frell.

My favorite fandoms include:
Mission capable:
One Piece!
Metroid
Zelda
Xenoblade
Gravity Falls
Bravest Warriors
Smash Bros
My Little Pony (Yes TV tropes and Cupcakes is how I found this place)
Adventure Time

Others:
Marvel Universe
Sword Art Online
Escaflowne
Gurren Lagann
The Legal Department(recently added)


*Alright lets look through The Board rules and Constitution AGAIN cause obviously I missed someth- yep there it is!*

"Thou shalt observe topics which came before thy time, which topics have been created for the express purpose of character creation and development, and shall endeavor to hold thy peace upon these subjects unless it is within the safe confines of these sanctified topics. If such a topic is not readily accessible, thou shalt again hold thy peace until thou hast sufficiently developed thy character, that official beta's may partake in the finer adjustments of the poor soul who would become an agent.
Verily, such is decreed, and whomsoever shall cause grievance against this decree shall suffer by repeated subtle blows to the head until repentance, or death."

...noted.

*Insanity Chocolate* infused with Bleeprin… You'll love it!

Seems like you got an interesting start on your agent. He sounds like he could be quite funny. Keep up the good work!

Tell your sister I said hi!

Like others before me, I encourage you to read The Original Series and The Constitution, tell which gender pronouns should be used for you and post a list of Fandoms.

As your newbie gift, here, you can have a replica of the One Ring, that has a random effect every time you use it (I take no responsability for missing limbs).

Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

Good to hear you're enjoying our little (big) corner of the Interwebs. I strongly encourage you to read the Original Series and Constitution, which are linked to at the top of the main page.

Also, since I don't know your fandoms, please accept this bag of Trader Joe's Banana Chips. Perfect for snacking! :)

Welcome to the board and have a pair of Gale-Force Reading Glasses: Model 600x, I am not responsible for what may happen to the glasses or you.

Welcome to the board, here have a boomerang that doesn't come back. (No one tell him/her it is only a stick.) By the way, what are your fandoms and what type of pronouns do you prefer?

So, you have managed to find your way aboard. Well done. May I asked how you found this place, so we can plug the leaks.

Kidding, kidding! Still, how did you find us? I'm going to hazard a guess... TvTropes? And, based on you calling out warrior_joe, I'm going to guess the Cupcakes page, due to his mission of it. That's part of how I found this place, anyway.

Now, before you can continue, I have a few questions to ask. Simple protocol, some paperwork, you know how it is.

First, what are your fandoms? This helps us to know you better, and so fellow fans can gush with you.

Second, have you finished the required reading of file T-05, otherwise known as the missions of Jay and Acacia?

Third, have you read though and understand thoroughly our constitution?

Finally, and this is important, we have to know: Do you have any remaining sanity? If so, you will have to fill out form J-0k3 and have any and all sanity left at the entrance.

Welcome to the board!

Have a +3 returning shovel. It comes back if you throw it!

Hi! Have some Schrodinger's Cookies. They may or may not contain chocolate.

So, what're your fandoms?

For your newbie present, take this shrieking armadillo! If the urple bow around its neck becomes too much, feel free to remove it.

I remember warrior_joe from a while back, but he hasn't shown up for a long time, at least as far as I know.

Will your sister be introducing herself soon? I do hope so. :D Welcome aBoard!