Mickey and Jackie were understandably surprised by the changes and wanted to know that happened.
I would assume that they wanted to know "what" happened.

Zeb muttered, watching said canon come out the door chatting up Mickey.
Only some lines later:
They kept a fair distance, reading the Words while Jack chatted up Mickey.
This felt a bit repetitive to me, enough to take me out of the story .

The shaking suddenly stopped and glass suddenly appeared all over the floor.
Aren’t two "suddenly" in one sentence a bit too much?
On second thought, you may be parodying a fic that makes too much use of repetitions. In this case, ignore my comments.

No go on and pick out some new clothes.
Should be "Now".

HG

I liked the mission, but it still feels like she's just being tortured.

Then again, I suppose I'm the only person here who's put his creations through Auschwitz, so what do I know?

Also posting this super late/early because I am a raging insomniac tonight.

Is planet Midnight the one that got overrun by the Vashta Nerada, by some chance? I'm asking because I saw Midnight and immediately thought of the creepy mimicry-possession creature. Piecemeal knowledge of Ten's era for the...something. *shrugs*

Hopefully Rina and Zeb will get slightly less insane/troubling missions in the forseeable future. I say slightly because a) Fate has awful willpower and b) the insane missions are the most fun to read. :P

Mostly unrelated question for you though: Since they're all in the same Department, will Randa show up to help out your new team at some point? I'd like to think we haven't quite seen the last of her yet.

Poor Rina just can't catch a break with these missions, can she? It was actually pretty funny to see her just go through the whole thing in... Well, I want to say kind of like a Tranquil Fury, but I don't suppose that would be accurate. As always, Zeb is adorable. Anyway, great work!